Posts tagged #relationships

How to Foster Meaningful Relationships

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Maintaining meaningful relationships can be tough. People come in and out of our lives all the time. When we change, our relationships do as well. Here are a few ways you can successfully foster meaningful relationships.

Treat Others They Way They Want to be Treated

It's so important to remember; we are all different.

What works for you may not necessarily work for someone else. It may even make them feel worse. 

You're not a mindreader. The only way you can know for sure what others need is by asking them directly.

Take a Pause

Have you ever said or done something out of your character in the heat of the moment?

It's completely normal to argue or disagree with friends and family from time to time. 

You have to learn to take a step back and deal with negative emotions in a healthy way.

Don't be afraid to hit the pause button for a few minutes. During that time you can reflect on your feelings in order to calmly communicate them. 

Teach People How to Treat You

You can't read other peoples minds right?

So how are they supposed to read yours? 

Don't be afraid to open up and show people the real you. The sooner your friends and family know what you need, the sooner they can help. Learn More

Posted on September 3, 2019 .

How to Heal After a Breakup

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Going through a breakup is painful - any loss is.

All you want is to get back to your old self and feel "normal" again.

Your feelings are not facts. You can retrain your brain. You can control your emotions. Just keep on reading. 

Listen to Your Voice

If you aren't careful, your negative thoughts can play tricks on you and intensity your pain. 

Our mind is a powerful thing, and can twist our reality. 

Let's say you keep thinking to yourself the breakup was entirely your fault. Sooner or later you will start to believe it.

One of the best things you can do to heal is to challenge your thoughts. 

Is this true? Am I sure? Where's the proof? 

Focus on Growth

When one door closes another one opens.

Breakups are the perfect opportunity to practice self-growth and strive to become the best version of you. 

Although it may not feel like it right now, things will get better. 

This pain is only temporary. Now that you know what you want, you can go get it!

Self Compassion

If you want to heal, you have to show yourself some self-compassion. 

Use the same language you would with your best friend. 

You have the power to keep your thoughts a judgment-free zone. Learn More

Posted on July 1, 2019 .

Five Tips for a Healthy Relationship

by Stephanie Steele, PhD, LMFT

1. Establish trust every day. 

    Communicating to your partner comments of security creates stability in long-term relationships. Sentiments such as "I just love spending time with you," "You are my favorite person," or "I love this life we are creating together."

2. Be curious about your partner's world, thoughts, feelings, etc.

    Instead of the typical "how was your day?" question, ask more in-depth questions such as "What happened at work today?" or "When was the last time you spoke with your sister?" Being curious about your partner's world in a way that expresses that you have a desire to understand them on a deeper level keeps couples connected.

3. Have an activity that only you two do, i.e. read a book together

    We all have our rituals or things that we do with only that one person. If you don't have that with your spouse - create it! Whether that is taking 10 minutes every morning to share a cup of coffee or tea, start a new workout regimen together or play cards every Saturday afternoon.

4. Encourage your partner daily

    When your spouse talks about work or their day, encourage them with uplifting phrases. Letting them know that they work very hard and they have every right to feel the way they feel is extremely validating. These encouraging remarks make a couples feel they are on the same team and it is always okay to share thoughts and feelings amongst each other.

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5. Treat yourself well

    You've heard the phrase, "take care of yourself so you can take care of others." This is especially true when it comes to relationships. Make sure you are fulfilled in all areas of your life - without expecting your partner to fulfill you. Eating well, sleeping well and enjoying your life will make your relationship that much more rewarding.

Posted on September 11, 2014 .

Five Mindfulness Practices to Share with Your Partner or Child

1. Share a mindful commute.  Take a moment to silently notice three sights while taking a familiar route together.  Next, share what you noticed before reaching your destination (e.g., a mural on a building; a majestic oak tree; a mailbox that has been painted your favorite color; the way the shade makes the car dark while going down a certain street; a nest next to a power line)

 

2. Practice the appreciation exercise daily.  Create a routine of taking 5 minutes at the end of each day to point out three things that you appreciated about your partner or child during the past 24 hours.  The more specifically tied to a behavior the better!

 

3. Ask three new questions.  Power down the cell phone. Turn off the screen.  Take out the ear buds.  Attune to your partner or child and learn something new. Take turns asking each other questions about your past, present, or future that you have never asked.  Make it a game you regularly play over dinner, while doing chores, or while in the car.

 

4. Notice, name, and share your thoughts and feelings.  Take time to share your internal experiences with your child or partner.  Practice using statements such as:  “I am having the thought that _______”; “I notice that I feel _______ when I have the thought that ______.”  This will grow your child’s emotional intelligence and increase intimacy with your partner.

 

5. Locate your emotions.  Talk about where you experience emotions in your body.  You could use the formula: “When I am (insert emotion), I feel (insert sensation) in my (insert region of body)”.  As an example: “When I am anxious, I feel tension in my forehead.”

 

Posted on September 11, 2014 .