VistaBlog

Tapping Into Your True Authenticity

Remember when you were a child and your teachers and parents would tell you to be yourself?

Now, think about it – did they ever tell you exactly how to go about it? 

Chances are probably not, since there is no set in stone authenticity rule book. If there were, we’d all be reading it. In order to be yourself, you have to know yourself which is easier said than done. It requires ongoing self-reflection since we are constantly changing.

Authenticity truly is a personalized journey. We all have our own core values and unique definition of what is right and wrong. 

How To Be More Authentic:

Before we get started, here are some questions for you to think about… 

1) Are your core values functional?

2) How do your values impact your relationships?

3) Are your habits working for or against you?

4) What would make you feel more authentic?

If you’re having a difficult time answering any of the above questions, try thinking about past life experiences. When was the time you felt like the best version of yourself? What activity were you doing, and how did it make you feel? Authenticity is all about identifying what’s important to you and embracing who you are. 

Final Thoughts:

There is only one you. Figuring out who you are and what makes you tick may take some time. But if you do your homework and regularly practice self-reflection, the answer may find you. Take risks, step outside your comfort zone and embrace the journey. 

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Self-Care 101 : Parenting Edition

It’s a common misconception that self-care activities have to be well thought out and extravagant. But that is not the case. As a parent, practicing self-care can be simple if you want it to be. 

You can treat yourself to a cup of tea while reading your kids a book, or practice deep breathing while watching them play.

Practicing self-care and monitoring your moods can help you stay on track of your overall wellness.

Here are a few tips that can help you get started. 

Regularly Check In With Yourself:

When life gets busy, we can often forget to check on ourselves and reflect. 

Keep in mind that checking in with yourself doesn’t have to be complicated. Simply breathe in the calm and breathe out the stress. 

Paying attention to your breathing can also help you become more present. 

Ask Yourself What You Need Right Now:

We all have our own way of dealing with frustration and overwhelm. Some of us may need a glass of water, while others may need ten minutes of alone time.

Being a parent is a full time job. If you can’t take a time out right now, no need to worry. Once your children go to sleep you can start implementing your favourite self-care activities. Again the actual activity is up to you. Listen to your body. It knows what it needs.

Be Kind:

When things get tough, it’s so important to talk to yourself like you would to someone you love. No one expects you to be perfect. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can and every accomplishment should be celebrated. You never fail. You either live or you learn. Learn More

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Ready To Stop The “Doomscrolling” Cycle?

How many times have you jumped into bed and couldn’t fully relax without checking your social just one more time? If you answered yes, you are not alone.

Right now, social media and various websites are full of anxiety-provoking articles about Coronavirus, the economy, schools, etc. 

For many of us. scrolling through social media is a bad habit. Breaking the habit may be tough – but it is possible if you put the work in.  Here are 3 tips that can help you get started.

Set a Timer:

There is absolutely nothing wrong with spending time on social media. In fact, it’s a great way to connect with loved ones and keep up with what’s going on in the world. However, too much of anything is not healthy – social media included.

When we are so used to scrolling, we can often lose track of time. 

Ten minutes of intended scrolling can easily turn into 1 hour if you aren’t mindful. 

A great tip is to set a social media timer. As soon as the alarm goes off, put the phone down and move onto something else. 

Remind yourself that your social media accounts will still be there for your next check-in.

Scroll Mindfully:

When we have so many apps on our phone, it’s easy to get distracted. Before opening up any apps, take some time to think about what you are looking to accomplish. Once you have found what you’re looking for, stop the scroll and call it a day!

Immerse Yourself In New Hobbies

Now that most establishments are closed, many of us have a lot more free time, but don’t know how to spend it wisely. 

It is never too late to try new things and explore new interests. All you’ve got to do is keep an open mind. 

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How To Stop Worrying – A Step By Step Guide

Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?

What if I fail?

What if I’m not good enough?

What if this doesn’t work out?

What if they don’t like me?

If you answered yes to any of the above, you are not alone! Constantly worrying can really take a toll on our health. So many of us tend to worry about things that are extremely unlikely to happen or things we have little – no control over. We may not be able to completely stop our worries, but we can dial down their intensity.

Identify The Trigger:

First things first, you’ll have to figure out what thoughts or events are causing you to worry. Did something recently happen? Are you going through a significant lifestyle change? Are you worried about what may or may not happen tomorrow? Once you understand the trigger or cause, you can work towards finding a solution. 

Journal:

Sometimes when we’re so worried, our imagination can get the best of us and make things feel bigger than they actually are.

Actually sitting down and writing out our thoughts and worries can help us better understand them and put them into perspective. Thoughts often look different on paper than they do in our mind after all. 

Think About The Evidence:

Remember, just because you feel something doesn’t make it true. Feelings are not facts!

Saying that out loud is one thing. Believing it is another. If you’re having a hard time finding appropriate evidence, here are a couple of questions you can ask yourself:

Has this worry come true in the past? If, so, how likely is it to happen again? 

What’s the worst thing that can happen?

Talk To Yourself Like You Would To Someone You Love:

Do you ever feel like you talk to your friends differently than you talk to yourself?

If a friend was going through what you are right now, what would you tell them to do? It’s time to become your own best friend and think things through rationally. Learn More

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Making Decisions – Even When It’s Hard

Take It One Step At a Time

We often procrastinate because we’re afraid of what may or may not happen next.

Of course, the unknown can be scary. But it’s part of life, and we never know what the future has in store.

Whether we procrastinate or not, the day will still go on. 

When in doubt, the best thing you can do is break up your responsibilities into small realistic steps. 

You may not have all the answers right now, and that’s okay. 

You have two choices. You can either worry about what may or may not happen. Or you can trust your instincts and be confident that when/if any problems arise, you have what it takes to handle them. 

Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable 

There’s nothing wrong with having a strong support system and seeking advice from them. The thing is, when we seek advice from the same people over and over again, it’s easy to get a little too comfortable.

There is always more than one way to do something. Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone and seek advice from someone new. It’s time to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. 

Avoid Avoidance

The longer we put something off, the scarier it tends to become. 

It is so much harder to make decisions when you’re scared or overwhelmed by anxiety.

All of those emotions can interfere with your decision-making skills and significantly delay the process.  

You may never feel 100% ready, and that’s completely okay. 

The journey may be bumpy, and you may make some mistakes along the way. You just have to remember that failure shouldn’t be avoided as it is your greatest teacher. Learn More

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Seeking a Child & Family Therapist (Signing Bonus)

Vista Counseling is actively seeking great Child and Family Therapists to work with our wonderful clients.  We have physical offices in Eugene and Portland, and are very focused on providing Telehealth throughout Oregon.

We are offering a $1000 signing bonus, as we are prioritizing serving as many families as possible during this challenging time.  

More information about this position can be found at https://vistapsych.com/openings/​.  

I should also note that we are bringing in therapists who see adults and couples as well.  We know that this is a trying time to be a therapist, and we are doing all we can to make their lives easier by taking care of the business side.  In fact, we are actively recruiting solo practitioners and small group practices who would like to bring their practices into Vista. Many therapists appreciate the mix of freedom (of schedule and choosing your own client) and security (benefits and support) that we offer.  We can help! 

Stay healthy, 

Ryan Scott, PhD 

Director

Vista Counseling & Wellness Center

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Anger Serves A Purpose

Anger is a normal human emotion. And like all emotions, it serves a purpose. Anger can guide you towards positive change and inspire you to set long term goals. 

Accept Your Anger:

It’s a common misconception that anger is a negative emotion and should be avoided at all costs. When in fact that is far from the truth. Dismissing and avoiding anger tends to intensify and prolong it. 

We all get angry. Accepting and embracing your anger can help keep it under control. 

Here’s an example. Let’s say traffic jams often make you angry, and in turn, cause your palms to sweat.

Instead of getting frustrated, take a few deep breaths, and accept what is happening. 

Remind yourself that your sweaty palms are simply the body’s physical response to anger and nothing to worry about. You are experiencing a human emotion, and it shall pass. 

Identify Your Anger:

Once you’ve accepted and come to terms with your anger, you have to identify the reason behind is.

Anger is communicating a need for change. You just need to figure out what that change is and its significance. 

Why do you think you’re angry right now? What is your anger trying to tell you? 

Establish Boundaries:

Once you’ve identified the source behind your anger, you can reset your boundaries and set appropriate expectations. 

Anger is an emotion for a reason and serves a purpose. 

It can teach you about yourself, others and the world around you. 

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Getting Used To Your Old Office Environment

Now that some public establishments are starting to re-open, more people are slowly returning back to their offices. 

If you’ve been working from home these past several months, chances are by now you’ve established a pretty solid routine. 

Even if you’re excited to go back to work, everything from the commute to waking up early likely will take some time to get used to.

Here are 3 tips that can help you adjust!

Connect With Your Team:

No matter what industry you’re in, connecting with your team is so important.

Establishing relationships with coworkers both face to face and virtually can help provide you with a sense of belonging and community. It can also make it easier to work together towards common goals. 

Plan Your Days In Advance:

Setting aside just ten minutes every evening to plan the following day can work wonders on your overall performance.

We all have our own focus style. Some of us get our best work done first thing in the morning, while others thrive in the evening.

Independent high-value tasks that require intense concentration should be done during your peak times. 

On another note, high-value tasks that require collaboration will require some flexibility and compromise. 

Be sure to ask your teammates what their peak hours are. If you have the same schedule, that’s great! If not, you’ll have to land on a happy medium. 

Take Some Time To Relax:

It’s no secret that commuting can be exhausting at times. When you get home from work, it’s not uncommon to dive into housework or prepare dinner. 

However, doing so can be very overwhelming and draining. 

Instead, give yourself some time to relax and get out of work mode. Proper and consistent relaxation helps us stay productive, energized and motivated! Exactly what we all need after a long day at the office. Learn More

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Reducing Anxiety and Stress During COVID-19

Experiencing fear, anxiety, sadness or anger are all very normal during stressful situations, change or significant life events.

It’s no secret that change is hard. Going through so many changes in a short period of time can be a lot to take in. However, the sooner you accept and embrace your feelings, the sooner you can move past them.

Focus On The Facts:

Emotions are very powerful and can often get the best of us – that is if we let them. 

We all have three states of mind. An emotional mind, a rational mind, and a wise mind.

Having an emotional mind is common during stressful situations. But if we aren’t careful, that mindset can quickly escalate anxieties.

Thinking rationally is all about focusing on the facts and staying clear of black and white thinking.

Spending Time Around Positive People:

The people we spend our time with have a massive impact on the way we think and feel. Both positive and negative behaviors are contagious. Chances are if you spend the majority of your time around positive people, their positivity will rub off on you.

Focus On Self-Care:

When life gets busy, we can often put ourselves last. No matter how difficult things may be right now, it’s so important to prioritize self-care. 

These self-care activities don’t need to be extravagant or break the bank. You can take a nap, read a book, draw, etc.

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Dating During Coronavirus

Starting a new relationship can be very exciting, but it can also be a little complicated – especially right now. 

Coronavirus has impacted almost all of our lives and routines in one way or another. Events such as weddings and vacations have been put on hold. But our dating life can very much continue. You just have to be a little creative and willing to put the work in.

Virtual Dating:

Dating apps are a fantastic way to meet like minded people you may not have met in person. 

We may not be able to meet up with the person we’re seeing face-to-face, but virtual dating is an option. Instant messaging is a great way to break the ice, but it isn’t always enough to form a solid connection. 

Video Chatting:

If you feel confident about taking your relationship to a more intimate level, make it a priority to graduate from texting as soon as possible. 

There are so many excellent platforms out there, such as FaceTime, Skype or Zoom. 

Actually, being able to see someone’s face and hear their voice can make a world of difference in your overall connection. It’s also much easier to be vulnerable and form chemistry. 

Making It Work:

Virtual dating is a process that requires patience and solid communication skills. Really getting to know someone and opening up takes time and trust. No matter what you want in life, you have to be willing to take risks and step outside your comfort zone – dating included!  Learn More

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