By: Betsy Pownall
Tragic optimism, as defined by Dr. Victor Frankl, a Holocaust survivor and psychiatrist/psychologist in his book, Man’s Search for Meaning is acknowledging, accepting, and expecting that life will be painful. Frankl believes there are three tragedies that, by being alive, everyone faces:
- Pain, because we are living beings.
- Guilt, because we make choices and feel responsible when things don’t go our way.
- Loss, because life is impermanent.
If we believe we have a right and an entitlement to be happy, we will suffer in the face of despair, troubling times, natural disasters, and personal tragedies. However, if we allow ourselves to go through hard times without going into denial, we can find our resilience.Â
In his essay, How Not to Fall Into Despair (New York Times 11-29-2024), Brad Stulberg writes about despair, tragic optimism, and resilience, following his experience of environmental, personal, and political loss. Stulberg believes that toxic positivity and excessive despair/pessimism keep us from taking responsibility for our lives. With toxic positivity, one denies anything is wrong. With excessive despair, one believes everything is pointless. Both are forms of denial. Stuhlberg suggests that “between the two poles exists a third way; committing to wise hope and wise action”.
Stuhlberg describes wise hope and wise action as:
- Accepting a situation and seeing it for what it is.
- Gathering strength, courage and resolve within ourselves.
- Focusing on what we can control.
- Reminding ourselves we have faced challenges before.
- Moving forward because there is no other option.
- “Recognizing that we maintain agency fuels hope, and maintaining hope reminds us that we have agency”.
Stuhlberg describes the core factors of resilience as:
- Leaning into community.
- Being kind to yourself
- Finding small ways to support your mental health
- Allowing yourself to feel sadness, loss and hope
- Allow yourself to feel commitment.
“At a moment when it can seem that all is lost, we’d be wise to embrace tragic optimism, wise hope and wise action….,” Stuhlberg writes, “these attitudes and skills, and our willingness to adopt and practice them, are essential not only to our individual resilience, but that of our communities. We need both now”.
