By : Collin King
“If I didn’t define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people’s fantasies for me and eaten alive.” –Audre Lorde
In the last decade, visibility for the LGBTQ+ community has grown dramatically. With it has come a broader, ever-evolving vocabulary for talking about identities beyond the heterosexual and cisgender “norm.”
While this ecosystem of terms can sometimes feel overwhelming to parse, having even a basic knowledge of commonly used concepts goes a long way toward communicating with knowledge and respect.
We invite you to use this glossary not as a homework assignment or a definitive guideline, but as a jumping-off point for learning more about people who might (or might not!) be different from you.
Sexuality / Sexual Orientation
How someone engages (or does not engage) with sex, attraction, romance, and desire. This often includes the gender(s) of their preferred sexual or romantic partners. Many of these terms exist on a spectrum, so someone’s use of a term may reflect a “closest fit” rather than a precise, fixed category.
Asexual / Ace
A person (of any gender) who does not experience sexual attraction to others. Some asexual people experience romantic attraction and form
romantic relationships, but they do not experience sexual desire.
Bisexual / Bi
A person (of any gender) who is romantically or sexually attracted to more than one gender. While it was historically defined as attraction to “both men and women,” many bisexual people now use the term in a broader, more gender-inclusive way.
Demisexual / Demi
A person who only experiences sexual attraction after forming a strong emotional bond. Demisexual people often report that attraction is not based
on physical traits or first impressions.
Gay
A man who is romantically or sexually attracted to other men. Also an umbrella term for anyone attracted to the same gender. The term “gay” is generally preferred over “homosexual,” which can feel clinical or outdated.
Lesbian
A woman who is romantically or sexually attracted to other women. Like “gay,” this term is usually preferred over “homosexual.”
Pansexual / Pan
A person who can be attracted to people of any/all genders, or who is attracted regardless of gender.
Polyamorous / Poly
A person who engages in consensual, ethical non-monogamous romantic and sexual relationships. While not specifically a sexual orientation, many people practice polyamory in a variety of forms.
Heterosexual / Straight
A person (usually cisgender) who is romantically or sexually attracted only to people of the “opposite” gender. The term is sometimes used to refer
broadly to people who are not LGBTQ+.
Sex
A biological descriptor based on physical markers like reproductive anatomy and chromosomes. While sex is distinct from gender, the two are often related.
Intersex
A person whose sex characteristics (such as anatomy or chromosomes) don’t fit typical definitions of “male” or “female.” Intersex people can have any gender identity or sexual orientation.
Gender
A complex, dynamic combination of social, cultural, historical, and psychological factors that influence how masculinity, femininity, and other gender expressions are understood.
Gender Identity
A person’s internal experience of gender—how they identify in relation to masculinity, femininity, both, or neither. This identity may or may not align with the sex they were assigned at birth.
Assigned at Birth
The label (such as “M” or “F”) given to a person at birth, typically based on external anatomy.
Gender Presentation
How someone expresses their gender outwardly—through clothing, behavior, speech, and appearance. Gender presentation has varied greatly across time and culture.
Pronouns & Identity Language
Pronouns
Words used to refer to someone without using their name (e.g., they, she, he, them, ours, hers, his, etc.).
Used Pronouns
The pronouns someone uses and identifies with. For example, if someone lists “Alex (she/they)” on a name tag, it means Alex is comfortable being referred to as either “she” or “they.”
Example:
“How’s Alex?” → “They’re doing well.”
“How’s Alex?” → “I haven’t heard from her lately.”
“What pronouns do you use?” or “What are your pronouns?” is often seen as a more affirming question than “What pronouns do you prefer?”
Gender Identity Terms
Cisgender / Cis
A person whose gender identity matches the sex they were assigned at birth. The prefix “cis” comes from Latin, meaning “on the same side.”
Transgender / Trans
A person whose gender identity is different from the sex assigned to them at birth. The prefix “trans” means “across” or “beyond.”
Transition
The process (social, legal, medical, or personal) by which a transgender person aligns their life with their gender identity. Transition can look different for everyone.
MTF (Male to Female)
A term—primarily used in medical or legal contexts—for a transgender woman. The final letter (F) denotes the person’s current gender identity.
FTM (Female to Male)
A term—also primarily medical—for a transgender man. The final letter (M) denotes the person’s current gender identity.
Non-Binary / Enby
A person whose gender identity doesn’t fall within the categories of “man” or “woman.” Many non-binary people use “they” as a pronoun. Some
non-binary people may identify themselves as under the “trans umbrella,” and others may not.
Two-Spirit / 2S
A pan-Indigenous term used by some Native American and First Nations people to describe a third-gender or non-binary role in their culture. It is a sacred and cultural identity that should only be used by Indigenous people, and it varies in meaning across different tribal nations.
Community & Allyship
Queer
Once a slur, this word has been reclaimed by many LGBTQ+ people and is now commonly used as an umbrella term. It is broad and inclusive, often used in place of the full LGBTQIA2+ acronym. For some, the term “queer” is still felt as a slur, so it is best not to refer to someone as queer unless they have done so themselves.
Ally
A person outside of the queer community—often a cisgender or heterosexual person—who actively supports, uplifts, and defends the rights and dignity of queer people.
Folks / Folx
A gender-inclusive term used to address groups without defaulting to “you guys” or using clinical language like “gender-non-conforming individuals.” The “x” (though not universally adopted) can signify a deliberate effort toward inclusivity and allyship.
And many, many more!
While these are some of the most common terms, this list is far from exhaustive. Language continues to evolve, and so do the ways people express identity. It’s natural to worry about getting things wrong—but in our work as therapists, we’ve found that most people are usually glad to talk about their identities when approached with respect, curiosity, and self-awareness. Whether or not you identify as LGBTQ+, we hope these definitions help you connect more authentically with the diverse folx around you.
Additional Resources
