Become a ClientCareers
Blog

National Grief Awareness Day

By Claire Butcher, CSWA and Christy Maeder, LCSW

August 30th marks National Grief Awareness day, an important reminder for us to check in with our community, loved ones, and ourselves, and recognize the importance of coping with and de-stigmatizing grief. Discussing grief and loss can be difficult, but it is vital to the healing process. This article will review the common myths surrounding grief, identify the “do’s and dont’s” for supporting a loved one, and discuss the importance of cultural and spiritual components of the grieving process. 

Debunking Common Grief Myths

  • “Grief follows the five stages in order.” → There is no particular order to the ‘stages’; we may skip stages, feel multiple of them at the same time, or go through them in a different order. 
  • “Grief only happens after a death.” → There are many different types of loss outside of biological death, including loss of security, safety, culture, etc. It is not something to box in; all forms of loss are valid to grieve. 
  • “Having ‘good days’ and feeling “less grief” means I don’t love the person anymore.” →  This is not true! We can feel the loss of grief, heal, and move forward with life without losing the memory or love of what/who we’ve lost. 
  • “Ignore it to get over it!” → Addressing grief through crying, revisiting emotions/reminders, storytelling, distractions, and connecting with loved ones are all great ways to cope.
  • “Grief ends” → There is no finish line! Like waves in the ocean, there will be stormier days than others, but this does not mean you’re coping ‘wrong’ by having tough days or seasons.
  • “I’m grieving ‘wrong’” → If you’re not hurting yourself or others, there is no wrong way to grieve (storytelling, revisiting places/memorable objects, cooking their favorite foods, connecting with loved ones, crying, using creative outlets, etc).

The Dos & Don’ts for People Who Are Grieving 

  • Don’t sugarcoat someone’s situation, or use platitudes (example: “At least they lived a long life”, or “they’re in a better place”) – this tells the other person how to feel, rather than giving them space to identify their own emotions.
  • Don’t tell people how to grieve – what works for you may not work for others!
  • Do provide space for any emotion
  • Do continue reaching out over time – remember, grief has no finish line!
  • Do remember anniversaries
  • Do hold space for nothing, or no responses (example: reminding the person there is “no need to respond” when checking in)

Cultural Humility and Awareness in the Grieving Process

It is not enough to review the bare bones of processing grief, as it washes over the cultural, ethnic, and religious components that play a role in bereavement. Systemic racism and oppression seep into all facets of life, including how we cope with death. BIPOC communities experience a disproportionate level of stigma and discrimination while in bereavement – from hospital security staff called on grieving black families at higher rates than white families, to having emotional and physical pain dismissed or ignored entirely in therapeutic settings. It is vital for clinicians in any medical and mental health field to stand with their clients, and not speak for them. However giving BIPOC clients space is not enough, clinicians need to go further to meet clients where they are to provide more personalized and meaningful care.

Spiritual / Religious Components of Therapy 

When working with clients who are grieving, therapists need to assess any religious and spiritual beliefs—because these beliefs often shape how people make sense of death, cope with overwhelming feelings, and find comfort when dealing with loss. For many, faith or spiritual practices (prayer, meditation, sitting Shiva, creating altars, etc) are a core part of their identity. They can be a significant source of meaning-making and finding support. For others, grief may spark spiritual questioning, feelings of anger at “God”, disconnection from their faith, or struggle. Making space for these conversations helps us better understand our clients’ worldviews and provide care that truly aligns with their values and needs.

Often, many therapists feel unsure or uncomfortable bringing up religion or spirituality in sessions. There may be fears of overstepping, offending, or not knowing enough about different practices. But when approached with humility and curiosity, we remember that we don’t need to have all the answers—we just need to be willing to listen, learn, and sit with a client’s experience. Exploring a client’s spiritual or religious background is part of practicing cultural competence, especially when grief is experienced differently across cultures and belief systems. By being open to this dimension of a client’s life, we build trust and strengthen our ability to support them in a way that honors the full context of who they are.

References: 

Read Morechevron_right