When life feels heavy, gratitude often feels like the last thing we have access to. Clients and friends alike have shared their struggles with seeing the good during stressful times. When we are living in survival mode, gratitude can feel pressured or performative rather than heartfelt and authentic.Â
This is a normal experience when life becomes overwhelming. But gratitude in difficult times isn’t about pretending everything is okay, and it’s not meant to dismiss the real suffering being experienced. It’s about anchoring ourselves to what is still holding us up when the ground beneath us feels unsteady.Â
Practicing gratitude is not a bypass and does not ask us to shut down our emotions.
Instead, it offers us the space to experience our pain and recognize the beautiful things simultaneously.Â
Gratitude creates more balance by offering a thread to hold onto, so we are not swallowed by the challenging moments. During difficult seasons when our perspective narrows, gratitude expands our emotional space. The brain is wired for protection and scans for danger, loss, and what’s going wrong.Â
We are designed to recognize the negative around us for the purpose of survival, and gratitude gently widens that lens. This widening doesn’t resolve the situation, but it gives us more emotional room to breathe. And when we have just a little more room, we make decisions with more clarity. We’re more patient with ourselves and increase our access to hope.Â
Small gratitude is still gratitude
Trying times demand that we scale things way down. Rather than seeking profound life lessons or epiphanies, taking baby steps and achieving small wins is the way to go. In times like these, gratitude may manifest as noticing the sun coming through your window in the morning, appreciating a friend’s text to check in, or simply being thankful for making it through a tough day. This is survival-level gratitude that can keep us moving forward one breath at a time.
Gratitude helps us stay connected
For many of us, hard moments often bring isolation, even when we’re surrounded by people. Gratitude can act as a spark of reconnection — to others, to ourselves, and to the pieces of life that are still nurturing us.
When we notice what we appreciate, we remember we are not completely alone in the struggle. Something or someone is still grounding us, and connection is one of the strongest antidotes to despair there is.
Gratitude strengthens our resilience
Resilience is not about being tough or pushing through. To me, resilience is the gentle process of finding ways to keep going without abandoning yourself. It’s creating greater tolerance to distress and being less likely to be completely derailed by difficulty.
Practicing gratitude during hard times slowly builds that resilience. It teaches the nervous system that even though this moment hurts, all is not lost. There is still some form of care, some glimmer of beauty, some thread of meaning that remains.
Practicing gratitude gently
If you are in a difficult season, start where you are.
* Naming one thing that softened the day
* Noticing one thing your body appreciates
* Appreciating a moment when you felt even slightly grounded
* Acknowledging one person who has shown up for you, even in a small way
These practices aren’t meant to erase your pain. They’re meant to hold you through it.
Why gratitude matters most in hard times
When life is easy, gratitude might flow more naturally. But when life is painful, gratitude becomes a lifeline.
It reminds you of your strength.
It reconnects you to meaning.
It helps you stay rooted when everything else feels unstable.
And maybe most importantly, it allows you to hold both truths:
“This is hard,” and “There is still something here for me.”
Both can be real at the same time. And both can guide you forward.












