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Self-Injury Awareness Day

Jaclyn Baker
,

By: Claire Butcher

Self-harm is when an individual injures themselves on purpose and is a sign of emotional distress. Self-injury can develop into a coping skill to ease complicated feelings and other mental health struggles. Self-harming can also be a way for people to manage big emotions, provide a release of pain-killing endorphins, or feel something ‘real’ if feeling emotionally ‘numb.’

Research shows that self-injury occurs in approximately 5% of adults in America and 17% of teens, with a higher risk for BIPOC and LGBTQIA+ communities and college-aged adults. However, due to mental health stigma, these statistics are likely underreported. Forms of self-harm can look like – but are not limited to the following:

  • Cutting skin
  • Hitting yourself
  • Burning skin
  • Picking at wounds
  • Pulling out hair
  • Using binge eating, drinking, or drug use to self-harm

‘Do’s and Don’ts’ of Talking To Someone Who Self-Harms

DO:

  • Stay calm – it might be activating to hear someone is harming themselves, but reacting with big emotions can show the person struggling that it may not be safe to share with others in the future
  • Validate Feelings – acknowledging the person’s feelings can show them it’s okay to talk about their mental health and reach out for help
  • Offer a Listening Ear – routinely checking in on people struggling with mental health can make a great difference in the healing process
  • Help them Access Support – if the person is willing, gently recommend beginning talk therapy and provide crisis and community resources

DON’T:

  • Judge – it takes a great deal of vulnerability and strength to tell someone you’re self-harming, and judgment will feed into the cycle of self-injury and shame
  • Force them to Stop – sometimes self-injury is one of the only coping skills people have, so it’s important to explore how we can reduce harm and add in new skills 
  • Sugar-Coat – saying ‘you’ll be okay tomorrow’ or dismissing self-harm can be invalidating to someone’s experience, especially one that is as serious as self-injury 
  • Try and Find Answers – you don’t have to know all the answers, and the person who has shared this with you may just want to feel heard and supported

Grounding Tools and Harm-Reduction for Self-Injury

Managing difficult feelings, numbness, and feeling ‘activated’ can take many forms, ranging from harm reduction that mimics the same sensations as self-harm to other techniques to release or regulate energy. Engaging in DBT—Dialectical Behavioral Therapy—can help build a toolbox of skills to manage big feelings, directing energy to healthier long-term outlets. 

Here are some examples of grounding skills to replace self-harm:

  • Hold ice cubes
  • Take a hot or cold shower
  • Exercise 
  • Punch pillows
  • Tear up paper or magazines 
  • Do breathing exercises
  • Draw, paint, or put stickers on skin
  • Hug a stuffed animal or loved one
  • Play with a pet
  • Call a friend
  • Eat spicy food, sour candy, or strong mints
  • Pick up a random object and take time to notice its color, texture, and other characteristics
  • Engage in creative outlets (coloring, drawing)
  • Make a comforting hot drink

Feel free to get creative with harm reduction! If you engage in cutting, try to reduce harm by making and squeezing a ball of tinfoil to mimic the ‘pokey’/sharp feeling. Here are some fidgets made to promote harm-reduction. 

References:

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Feeling Good as Political Resistance

Jaclyn Baker
,

By: Emi Gilbert 

For many of us, our current political climate has provoked a nervous system state of defeat and numbness. In polyvagal terms, a common response to current events has been a “dorsal vagal shutdown,” in which we are immobilized, collapsed, and frozen. 

Unfortunately, this frozenness is the exact type of response that benefits oppressive systems, keeping the marginalized silent and without the energy to resist.

So how can we reconnect with our bodies and transform “immobilization” into “mobilization”? Adrienne Maree Brown, a Black feminist activist and writer, compiled a collection of essays in Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good (2019). In it, she argues that experiencing pleasure (such as through friendship, community, sexuality, and intimacy) is a form of active resistance. When the grand political environment feels so dire, many of us feel a sense of guilt or shame when experiencing pleasure. Brown instead insists that feeling pleasure fosters a sense of “aliveness” that is inherently powerful. 

At the very least, Brown frames pleasure as harm reduction within an oppressive society, mitigating the dehumanizing effects of marginalization. 

Brown’s philosophy is not new. She quotes Audre Lorde (another Black feminist activist), who stated that self-care is “not self-indulgence; it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”

In practical terms, Brown encourages using somatic exercises to tune into our bodies and understand what brings us a sense of “yes.” A few other practical principles include:

  •       Meditating
  •       Keeping a “pleasure journal” of what brings you joy
  •       Laughter, dance, singing, and food
  •       Setting boundaries and “only saying yes when you mean it.”
  •       Investing in relationships

For more ideas, see Brown, A. M. (2019) Pleasure Activism: The Politics of feeling good. AK Press.

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Avoid This Common Boundary-Setting Mistake: 6 Steps to Boundaries That Stick

Jaclyn Baker
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Setting healthy boundaries is crucial for maintaining respect and connection in relationships. However, many people confuse setting boundaries with making requests, demands, or complaints. So, how can you set boundaries that actually stick? Here’s a quick guide to help you navigate this important skill.

What’s the Difference Between Boundaries and Other Communication Tactics?

  • Complaints express dissatisfaction but don’t suggest a solution.
  • Demands try to control others and expect compliance.
  • Requests ask for something respectfully but leave room for the other person’s choice.
  • Boundaries focus on your actions—what you will or won’t tolerate.

A healthy boundary makes it clear what you will do to protect yourself without relying on others to change.

6 Steps to Set Boundaries That Stick

Find Your Big Why: Identify why the boundary is important. What will change for the better once it’s in place?

Define Your Boundary: Clearly state what is OKAY and what isn’t. Example: “If you yell at me, I will take a 15-minute break.”

Anticipate Others’ Reactions: Understand that others may have strong feelings about your boundary. It’s not your job to manage their emotions.

Anticipate Your Own Reactions: Prepare for how you’ll respond if someone challenges your boundary. Stay calm and aligned with your values.

Create a Self-Soothing Plan: Have a strategy to calm yourself if boundary-setting feels overwhelming. Deep breaths or a mantra can help.

Say It and Follow Through: Once you’ve set the boundary, don’t apologize or over-explain. Just state it kindly and stick to it.

Why Boundaries Matter

Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect and self-care. It helps you feel safe, connected, and empowered in your relationships. By following these 6 steps, you’ll ensure that your boundaries are clear, actionable, and respected.

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How Do You Survive The Season?

Jaclyn Baker
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By Erin Gillingham

This time of year can be filled with joy and fun, but with that comes stress, sadness, and a bevy of other emotions and feelings. The seasons are changing, the temperatures are getting colder, and the time change is making it darker earlier. The environmental stress alone can be rough. So we asked our staff: How do you survive the season?  

  • Scented candles always make me feel warm and happy. Fuzzy blankets and socks are good for when you’re feeling down in Winter. Also, a great way to spend a cold, dark evening is with a holiday movie and hot chocolate or a warm beverage. 
  • Setting a price budget with everyone beforehand really helps when it comes to gift giving. For example, making it clear everyone is only giving $20 gifts.
  • I like to put more care and intention into my morning and night routines, like taking hot showers, hydrating my skin with soothing products, and stretching before getting in bed and right after waking up.
  • When I’m around a lot of people (whether in public or at family events), I like to bring earplugs and other sensory tools, like things to fidget with. As someone on the spectrum, I do a lot better when I feel more in control of my senses.
  • Plan ahead! I love having things to look forward to during the fall and winter to make it less dreary—whether that’s a trip to the coast to look for sea glass or spending time with friends.
  • Using my ‘Happy Light’ to manage seasonal depression. I like using this once a day for 30 minutes to an hour while I’m doing crafts or some other form of self-care.”
  • Prioritize self-care and soothing activities, such as going for walks, listening to music, drinking tea, and spending quality time with pets. 
  • Minimize or eliminate time with stress to be around family or friends.
  • Make an agreement with others you plan to exchange gifts with around spending limits.
  • Or better yet, share a meal together, take a walk and look at holiday lights, or see a performance you would all enjoy.
  • Start your own new traditions that have meaning to your life based on your values.
  • I’ll submit my trusty yearly recommendation of this book!

Birdwatching has been my go-to stress reliever. I have multiple bird feeders during the winter, even a heated one for the hummingbirds. I’ve asked for a “bird buddy” feeder for Christmas. It sends a picture to your phone every time a bird lands at the feeders. I’m also seriously into Epsom salt baths in the winter. They’re great for relaxing after a stressful day. 

  • It’s also important to set realistic expectations for myself during the holidays. If I only focus on making sure everyone else is happy but sacrifice my own happiness and energy, then that’s a lose-lose situation.
  • I love things that keep my spirit warm and cozy, like blankets, books, candles etc. I also love the traditions that remind me of home, like cooking my favorite recipes, spending an evening searching out the best holiday lights with my friends, and spending a day baking and making gift boxes with my sister. 
  •  Sharing a moment of silence, a poem or a prayer can improve how you digest your meals, emotions, and tensions.

This poem is from the book Fragrance after the Rain by Jayai John:

“GRATITUDE IS A RIVER.  If you live in it, your heart and soul grow supple.  You flow with life.  If you leave gratitude’s river behind, everything you are grows hard, rigid, suffering.  Your body, your spirit, your relations, your life.

Stay in the river, Revolutionary.  Especially as you work to heal and unpeel the countless layers of oppression that shape your life and the world.  Identify your blessings.  Name them, so they know when you are calling for them. Feed them.  They like organic nourishment.  Praise them.  They will swell.  Mantra your names.  They will multiply.  Rest with them.  They will be your fire and dance.  Stay in the river of Gratitude.  It will carry you to your dream home.  Which is Peace.'”

  • One for me is self compassion and humor. This quote comes to mind if I am being hard on myself about “regressing” or becoming activated:”

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Native Lands

Jaclyn Baker

By: Collin King

Nothing lives long. Only the earth and mountains. -Cheyenne Chief White Antelope

In the United States, we live on colonized land, and we often lose touch with the tapestry of native lands that our neighborhoods, cities, and states sit on top of. 

Beyond the indigenous words incorporated into our streets signs and counties, it can be difficult to answer the question: whose land was this?

In a DEI group I joined in Colorado, we were asked to challenge our own origin stories by introducing ourselves like this:

“Hi, my name is Collin, and I am from the land of the Caddo people, now known as North Louisiana.”

While this verbiage is too clunky for most settings, I found it to be a powerful exercise to consider the people, languages, and customs that stewarded the land of “my hometown” for thousands of years before its founding. 

If you’d like to do the same over this National Native American Heritage month, I invite you to explore this database, where you can enter your own town or zip code and see its own native heritage:

https://native-land.ca/ 

For reference, here is a look at what we now call “Oregon”: 

I would love to hear about the tribes that lived on lands that are significant to you. Please feel free to share (and see other’s responses) here:

https://forms.gle/juJjxXPJ4F5Ffytu6

Domestic Violence Awareness Month – Resources

Jaclyn Baker
,

By Claire Butcher

Domestic violence is a pervasive epidemic that affects individuals across all demographics, often leaving people with physical as well as emotional scars. Recognizing the warning signs of domestic abuse and knowing where to turn for help are crucial to reducing harm when these situations arise. In this article, you’ll find common warning signs of domestic violence along with resources available to survivors. 

Warning Signs

Domestic violence, or intimate partner violence, can encompass a wide range of abusive behaviors by one partner against another. Abuse can take the forms of physical, emotional, psychological, financial, sexual, and more. Domestic violence often escalates over time and can affect anyone regardless of age, gender, sex, sexual orientation, race, or socioeconomic status. Here are some common warning signs:

  • Physical abuse: threatened or actual hitting, slapping, or any form of physical harm
  • Emotional abuse: manipulation, belittling, name-calling, gaslighting, isolation from friends and family
  • Financial abuse: restricting access to financial resources, preventing work, limiting educational opportunities
  • Sexual abuse: coercion, guilt, or forced into unwanted sexual acts, denying access to reproductive health

If you or someone you know is experiencing these signs, it is important to seek help. If you are in immediate danger, please call 911. 

Resources

Hotlines

Shelters and Services – Eugene

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September is National Recovery Month

Jaclyn Baker
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By: Tanya Kramer

This national day was established in 1989, and since then the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSHA) has sponsored events every September. More recently, a proclamation by President Joe Biden highlighted September of 2023 as National Recovery Month.

This proclamation asserts that more than 20 million Americans have had the courage to seek help for their substance use disorder, “showing millions of others that recovery is possible”.

“Every Person, Every Family, Every Community” is the permanent theme which observes how no one is not touched by the impact of substances. Some people can reclaim their lives on their own; however, many people struggling with substances need support. This support can take a variety of forms such as support groups, learning new skills to adapt to life without substances, and/or increasing emotional support.

Support Groups

A widely used and accessible resource is going to a support group such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), or similar programs that utilize a 12 Step process. If you are unfamiliar to the 12 steps, I want to make a note here that the word God does not necessarily mean it is religious. Some will use the word “God” as an acronym for “group of drunks”, other might simply replace the word “God” with something connected to their personal belief system or spirituality.

Here are the 12 Steps as found in the AA Book:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. We’re entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Learning New Skills

Sometimes what makes the biggest difference is learning new skills, having successes, and trusting oneself that life can be navigated when in the past, it might not have felt that way. Learning Life Skills can aid in this growth and increase confidence.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), here are the key life skills:

  • Communication and interpersonal skills
  • Creative and critical thinking skills
  • Problem-solving and effective decision making skills
  • Self-Awareness
  • Assertiveness and self-control
  • Resilience and the ability to cope

Increase Emotional Supports and Habits

Working with a Substance Use Counselor or some professional who specializes in substance use can decrease relapse since this a person can walk alongside the person and help them establish positive habits and avoid situations that might be challenging.

Some of the key skills to increasing success with recovery are the following:

  • Creating a Self Care list and engaging in these activities on a regular basis
  • Having daily routines
  • Managing Stress
  • Increasing skills to be able to regain control of one’s emotions
  • Talking with a trusted person when struggling to experience true support
  • Avoid risky situations where there is temptation
  • Develop coping skills
  • Accepting personal responsibility

Four Major Dimensions of Recovery-Month

SAMHSA identifies these areas as the following:

  1. Health – overcoming or managing one’s disease(s) or symptoms (which includes using substances)
  2. Home – having a safe and stable place to live
  3. Purpose – engaging in activities that provide purpose such as a job, volunteering, being involved in the community, engaging in creative endeavors, or other enjoyable activities.
  4. Community – having sustainable relationships and social networks that provide support, friendship, love, and hope.

However someone navigates taking the steps to move toward decreasing substance use or engaging in sobriety, these different types of resources can be helpful. Recovery is not a “one shoe fits all” process. Asking for help and learning about ones-self are key to rediscovering a healthy life without substances.

If support groups, therapy, and/or engaging in the suggestions here still leave you struggling, then you might want to consider an inpatient treatment facility to give you a solid start with daily support. Your first step is if you have health insurance, contact yourhealth insurance and ask what programs they cover. If you do not have health insurance, then do a search for substance use programs in your area and see what options exist for slide scale costs or being sponsored. You can find more information about resources for substance use recovery at the following links:

 

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Simple Daily Habits for a Calm Mind

Jaclyn Baker
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Finding inner peace can seem like a distant dream in today’s fast-paced world. However, peace isn’t something that happens by chance—it’s something we can actively cultivate. Here are six daily practices that can help you create the calm and tranquility your mind craves

Stop, Breathe, and Be Present

Take a few minutes throughout your day to focus on your breath. This simple act can anchor your mind to the present moment, helping you feel more alive and at ease. By embracing the here and now, you let go of stress and truly experience life.

Minimize Distractions

Our minds are often cluttered with distractions, from social media to TV. Create pockets of peace by setting aside time where you avoid these distractions, allowing your mind to slow down and find stillness.

Let Go of Worries

Spend a few minutes each day acknowledging your worries. Label them, and then let them go. This practice helps you distance yourself from problems, giving you a clearer perspective and a sense of freedom.

Prioritize Restful Sleep

Quality sleep is essential for a peaceful mind. Wind down 90 minutes before bed with calming activities, like meditation or reading. Let go of the day’s worries and invite relaxation into your evening routine.

Practice Kindness and Generosity

Giving to others through time, energy, or simple acts of kindness can uplift your mood and bring a sense of fulfillment. The act of giving, with a genuine intention, fosters a peaceful and warm heart.

Expect Nothing in Return

When you give without expecting anything back, you shift your focus from your problems to the well-being of others. This selflessness can break cycles of negative thoughts, helping peace flow into your life.

By incorporating these practices into your daily routine, you create the conditions for inner peace to thrive. Remember, peace starts from within, and these small steps can lead to a profound sense of calm and happiness.



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4 Ways to Avoid Getting Stuck

Jaclyn Baker
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Feeling stuck is a common challenge, whether you’re working on a big project, trying to meet personal goals, or simply navigating daily life. Here are four effective strategies to help you stay on track and keep moving forward.

Planning Priorities

When you’re overwhelmed with tasks, it’s easy to feel paralyzed and unsure where to start. The key is to prioritize. Begin by identifying the most critical tasks that need your attention. Ask yourself what needs to be done first and what can wait. By focusing on your top priorities, you can tackle tasks in a logical order and maintain a clear sense of direction.

Make a List

A classic but powerful tool, making a list helps you visualize what needs to be done. Write down everything you need to accomplish, no matter how small. A detailed list not only serves as a roadmap for your day but also gives you a sense of accomplishment as you check off completed tasks. Breaking down your tasks into a list can make large projects seem more manageable and less intimidating.

Set Micro-Goals

Big goals can be daunting and sometimes lead to procrastination. Instead, break them down into smaller, more manageable micro-goals. Setting micro-goals allows you to focus on one step at a time, making the overall task less overwhelming. Each small success will build momentum and keep you motivated to move forward.

Avoid Distractions for a Time

Distractions are everywhere and can easily derail your progress. To stay focused, designate specific periods where you eliminate distractions. Turn off notifications, close unnecessary tabs, and create a quiet workspace. By dedicating uninterrupted time to your tasks, you can work more efficiently and effectively.

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International Non-Binary People’s Day on July 14th

Jaclyn Baker
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By: Tanya Kramer

This day has been recognized since 2012 to raise awareness and organizing regarding the issues faced by non-binary people around the world. 

This day was started by Katje van Loon and is symbolic as it lands halfway between International Men’s Day (November 19) and International Women’s Day (March 8). Non-binary Awareness Week starts the Monday prior to July 14th and is a period of time dedicated to people who do not identify with the traditional gender binary.

The term “non-binary” is described by the Human Rights Campaign as “someone who does not identify exclusively as a man or a woman. Non-binary folks may identify as being both a man and a woman or as falling completely outside these categories. Many non-binary people also identify as transgender, though not all do.” The term “non-binary” is described by Stonewall (Pride 2024: Champion of Champions ) “as an umbrella term for people whose gender identity doesn’t sit comfortably with ‘man’ or ‘woman’. 

Non-binary identities are varied and can include people who identify with some aspects of the binary identities, while others reject them entirely. Non-binary people can feel that their gender identity and gender experience involves being both a man and a woman, or that it is fluid, in between, or completely outside of that binary.” This day is a day to celebrate non-binary individuals and their contributions. It is also a time to refocus on the important work of securing full protection and rights of our non-binary siblings and friends. 

Most countries around the world do not recognize non-binary as a legal gender which means people are forced to identify by the gender assigned at birth in government documents such as a passport, or financial documents such as credit cards or bank accounts. Non-binary people often experience discrimination, prejudice, violence, challenges with healthcare, housing, and employment.

The United States, Australia, Argentina, Bangladesh, Canada, Denmark, Germany, the Netherlands, and New Zealand include non-binary gender options on the country’s passports. In the United States currently, half of the country allows a driver’s licenses to include “X” as a choice for gende. But there is still work to do.

On International Non-Binary People’s Day, we can all engage in meaningful change to be better allies and siblings. According to the website “Many Genders One Voice”

(Non-Binary People’s Day ), and a few other resources, here are some specific ways to make a meaningful change:

  • Undertake self-directed awareness and education
  • Don’t make assumptions
  • Using gender-neutral language whenever possible
  • Pronoun confirming, cueing, and correcting
  • Don’t ask about the sex assigned at birth (unless necessary for service delivery)
  • Take steps to ensure non-binary inclusive service provision in healthcare settings
  • Challenge discrimination, take “Right to Be _____” training (Bystander Intervention – Right To Be ) to understand how to stand up for the rights of those being discriminated against
  • Compassionately challenge internalized phobias or acceptance of power and control imbalances in relationships
  • Understand the impact of previous trauma and discrimination upon people’s current lives and their ability to access safe services.  Thank you to Katje van Loon for her work in starting International Non-Binary People’s Day!

Check out this link to learn more about Katje’s story – https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-62149521

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It’s Time To Go After What You Want

Jaclyn Baker
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Experiencing self-doubt is a part of being human. It’s a universal emotion that affects everyone at some point in their lives. However, for those in minority groups or living with chronic health conditions, self-doubt can be even more pronounced. It can feel like a barrier, keeping you from going after what you truly want in life.

The most important step in going after what you want is taking action. It’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of self-doubt and inaction, but taking even the smallest step forward can break this cycle. Here are some strategies to help you move past self-doubt and take action:

  1. Set Clear, Achievable Goals: Break down your larger goals into smaller, manageable steps. This makes them feel less overwhelming and more attainable.
  2. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge your achievements, no matter how small, and give yourself credit for the progress you’ve made.
  3. Surround Yourself with Support: Build a network of supportive friends, family, and mentors who can encourage you and provide valuable feedback.
  4. Stay Flexible: Life is unpredictable, and goals may need to be adjusted. Stay open to change and adapt your plans as needed.
  5. Celebrate Progress: Recognize and celebrate your successes along the way. Each milestone is a step closer to your ultimate goal.

Going after what you want is not always easy, especially when self-doubt and additional challenges are involved. However, by leveraging the power of imagination and taking actionable steps, you can overcome these obstacles. Remember, the journey towards your goals is just as important as the destination. Embrace your potential, take action, and watch as your dreams become reality.

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How to Reassess Your Life in Retirement

Jaclyn Baker
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Retirement is often seen as a period of relaxation and enjoyment after decades of hard work. However, it also presents a unique opportunity to reassess and realign your life to ensure it continues to be fulfilling and meaningful. Here are some steps to help you navigate this important transition.

Schedule Dedicated Time

One of the first steps in reassessing your life in retirement is to set aside dedicated time for reflection. Find a quiet place where you can contemplate or journal without distractions. This intentional quiet time allows you to deeply consider your current situation and future aspirations. Writing down your thoughts can also provide clarity and help organize your ideas.

Assess Your Needs Realistically

It’s essential to realistically assess your needs. Consider whether you need additional income or if you are managing a health concern. Are you serving as a caretaker for a loved one? Do you feel the need to relocate closer to family or a support system? Evaluating these practical aspects of your life can help you make informed decisions about your future.

Set Your Priorities

Retirement offers the perfect opportunity to set new priorities. Have you been putting off pursuing a new hobby or mastering an old one? Is this the time to devote yourself to a project or cause you care deeply about? Consider whether there are people in your life with whom you want to spend more quality time. Setting clear priorities can help you focus your energy on what truly matters to you.

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