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September is National Recovery Month

Jaclyn Baker
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By: Tanya Kramer

This national day was established in 1989, and since then the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMSHA) has sponsored events every September. More recently, a proclamation by President Joe Biden highlighted September of 2023 as National Recovery Month.

This proclamation asserts that more than 20 million Americans have had the courage to seek help for their substance use disorder, “showing millions of others that recovery is possible”.

“Every Person, Every Family, Every Community” is the permanent theme which observes how no one is not touched by the impact of substances. Some people can reclaim their lives on their own; however, many people struggling with substances need support. This support can take a variety of forms such as support groups, learning new skills to adapt to life without substances, and/or increasing emotional support.

Support Groups

A widely used and accessible resource is going to a support group such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), Narcotics Anonymous (NA), or similar programs that utilize a 12 Step process. If you are unfamiliar to the 12 steps, I want to make a note here that the word God does not necessarily mean it is religious. Some will use the word “God” as an acronym for “group of drunks”, other might simply replace the word “God” with something connected to their personal belief system or spirituality.

Here are the 12 Steps as found in the AA Book:

  1. We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.
  2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
  3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.
  4. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
  5. Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  6. We’re entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.
  7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.
  8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
  10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.
  11. Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.
  12. Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these Steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

Learning New Skills

Sometimes what makes the biggest difference is learning new skills, having successes, and trusting oneself that life can be navigated when in the past, it might not have felt that way. Learning Life Skills can aid in this growth and increase confidence.

According to the World Health Organization (WHO), here are the key life skills:

  • Communication and interpersonal skills
  • Creative and critical thinking skills
  • Problem-solving and effective decision making skills
  • Self-Awareness
  • Assertiveness and self-control
  • Resilience and the ability to cope

Increase Emotional Supports and Habits

Working with a Substance Use Counselor or some professional who specializes in substance use can decrease relapse since this a person can walk alongside the person and help them establish positive habits and avoid situations that might be challenging.

Some of the key skills to increasing success with recovery are the following:

  • Creating a Self Care list and engaging in these activities on a regular basis
  • Having daily routines
  • Managing Stress
  • Increasing skills to be able to regain control of one’s emotions
  • Talking with a trusted person when struggling to experience true support
  • Avoid risky situations where there is temptation
  • Develop coping skills
  • Accepting personal responsibility

Four Major Dimensions of Recovery-Month

SAMHSA identifies these areas as the following:

  1. Health – overcoming or managing one’s disease(s) or symptoms (which includes using substances)
  2. Home – having a safe and stable place to live
  3. Purpose – engaging in activities that provide purpose such as a job, volunteering, being involved in the community, engaging in creative endeavors, or other enjoyable activities.
  4. Community – having sustainable relationships and social networks that provide support, friendship, love, and hope.

However someone navigates taking the steps to move toward decreasing substance use or engaging in sobriety, these different types of resources can be helpful. Recovery is not a “one shoe fits all” process. Asking for help and learning about ones-self are key to rediscovering a healthy life without substances.

If support groups, therapy, and/or engaging in the suggestions here still leave you struggling, then you might want to consider an inpatient treatment facility to give you a solid start with daily support. Your first step is if you have health insurance, contact yourhealth insurance and ask what programs they cover. If you do not have health insurance, then do a search for substance use programs in your area and see what options exist for slide scale costs or being sponsored. You can find more information about resources for substance use recovery at the following links:

 

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5 Components to Craft a Healthy Daily Routine

Jaclyn Baker
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Embarking on a journey to prioritize your mental well-being? Then, establishing a routine could be your key to unlocking a healthier and happier lifestyle. 

Amidst the sea of resolutions, let’s shine a spotlight on an often underestimated yet potent catalyst for well-being – the magic of establishing a routine. Imagine a life where your exercise, medication, chores, relaxation, and sleep seamlessly fall into a predictable pattern, making every day a symphony of balance and order tailored to your unique preferences.

Dive in and discover how to uncover the simple yet profoundly impactful steps that can guide you toward a more consistent daily routine. 

Welcome to the journey of discovering the benefits of routine – a journey that promises order, efficiency, discipline, and the comforting stability we all yearn for. 

Unleash the Power of Consistent Rest

Cultivate a regular sleep schedule to synchronize your bedtime and wake time, creating a serene rhythm for your days. 

Allow the gentle embrace of consistent sleep to regulate your mood, enhance focus, deploy healthy coping mechanisms, and reduce stress hormones. Setting bedtime and wake-up alarms can transform your nights into peaceful rejuvenation and mornings into stress-free beginnings 

Create Daily Rituals to Blow off Steam

Carve out dedicated time and space in your routine to proactively manage stress. 

Whether it’s through meditation, exercise, or journaling, infuse your days with intentional practices that dissipate stress. Embrace the transformative power of daily stress-relief rituals to foster mental resilience.

Begin with the Most Important Thing

Navigate your to-do list with wisdom, prioritizing the most important tasks over the quick and easy ones. 

Let your routine reflect a commitment to tackling the crucial tasks first, ensuring your energy and focus align with your priorities.

Add Some Joy and Daily Reflection

Embrace the simple yet profound act of expressing gratitude daily. Whether through a nightly journal or morning reflections, incorporate gratitude into your routine. Let this practice amplify the positives in your life, creating a harmonious rhythm of appreciation.

Also, integrating simple pleasures into your routine ensures they contribute to your happiness without compromising your well-being. From cooking to yoga, craft a routine that includes activities bringing joy and fulfillment. 

Nurture Meaningful Connections

Prioritize relationships by weaving them into your routine. 

From family dinners to date nights and coffee with friends, cultivate routines that foster emotional support, belonging, and acceptance. Let social interactions



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3 Steps to Take Control of Overwhelming Feelings

Jaclyn Baker
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In your journey through life, feeling overwhelmed is a shared human experience. 

But know that dealing with overwhelming thoughts and feelings is not about perfection but a continuous growth process. Explore practical insights from the acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) world, gaining a valuable perspective on embracing your humanity. 

It’s about more than just recognizing difficulty; it’s about sensing within and embracing the profound connection between mind and body. 

Now, let’s unravel the transformative journey of noticing, feeling, and moving towards a direction aligned with your deepest values with this go-to formula you can use when feeling overwhelmed.

Step 1: Notice Your Emotions

When the world seems to come crashing down, it’s hard to think straight, so the first step is straightforward and simple. You only need to notice that this is currently hard for you. It can be as simple as having a quick moment of clarity while experiencing an emotional outburst.

If you practice the skill of noticing, you will be able to catch your experiences as they unfold in the present moment, allowing you to make a conscious decision about what you want to do next.

Step 2: Feel The Unseen

When overwhelming thoughts and feelings grip you, they may deceive you into believing you’re not okay. The impulse to dispel these emotions often leads to familiar coping mechanisms—lashing out, indulging in comfort food, smoking, or escaping into social media. While effective momentarily, the cycle repeats, leaving you once again submerged in overwhelm.

In such moments, it is crucial to recognize your power of choice. Instead of evading your experience, embrace it. Dive into your body: What sensations are present, and where? Invest a few seconds, perhaps a minute or two, in exploring your internal landscape. 

Start small and gradually expand your awareness with self-kindness, patience, and care.

Step 3: Move Towards What Matters

The third and final step in regaining control is to shift your focus outward. Reflect on the things that hold greater significance than succumbing to overwhelm. Whether it’s commitments to loved ones, career goals, or enhancing self-care, some aspects of your life matter deeply.

Take a moment to move in a valued direction; it need not be a grand gesture. A small step suffices—sip a glass of water, send a quick text to a loved one, bask in a short walk in the sun, or indulge your dog with a belly rub. The options are limitless. 

What matters is the commitment to small actions that are aligned with your life’s purpose and meaning.

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Unplug from Autopilot in 3 Easy Ways

Jaclyn Baker
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Do you ever catch yourself daydreaming about the life you truly desire, only to snap back to reality with a never-ending to-do list in hand? 

What if you could set your course, dream big, and map out your roadmap as you go? While it’s all too easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of busyness, by finding the time, support, and strategies, you can break free from autopilot mode. 

Make Time for Self-Reflection

How do you find space when you’re already stretched thin? 

Start with baby steps and recognize that significant change begins with the smallest actions. You can start by trimming screen time, rising 10 minutes earlier, or unplugging 30 minutes before bedtime for introspection. Even a brief post-lunch walk can serve as intentional reflection time.

By creating space, you can seize those mini moments in your day to acknowledge where your time truly goes and set boundaries to safeguard what matters most to you. 

Dream the Dream

Now that you’ve carved out those precious pockets of time, the next step is to use them to reflect on your life vision. Breaking free from autopilot hinges on gaining clarity about what truly matters to you, what brings joy and fulfillment, and how to gradually chart a path toward these aspirations.

Consider things like – what fuels your positive energy? Which values hold the most significance for you? How do you define success? What’s your ultimate dream for your life?

As you explore your life vision, remember to grant yourself the freedom to dream without dwelling on the ‘how.’ Always remember to ask yourself, “What do I want for myself?” and the roadmap will come in due time.

Embrace Progress

The next phase is all about action. But here’s the secret: it’s the small steps that truly count.

Don’t fall into the trap of all-or-nothing thinking, believing that you must revolutionize your life overnight. Instead, focus on one small change at a time. It’s about setting a manageable pace for yourself without the need for massive leaps or week-long transformations. 

Remember, progress is progress, no matter how gradual.

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3 Telltale Signs You Need Tighter Boundaries

Jaclyn Baker
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We’ve all heard that setting boundaries is essential for our mental strength, but let’s face it; it can be challenging.  

Why is it so tricky? Well, the fear of being left high and dry, the unrelenting urge to be everyone’s best buddy, and the classic “what do I do if someone steps over my line” conundrum can leave you feeling like you’re in a whirlwind of uncertainty.

If your boundaries sometimes feel as sturdy as a sandcastle, don’t worry. Embark on this boundary-setting adventure and discover a treasure trove of self-respect, mental strength, and a happier, healthier you.  

Now, buckle up as we dive into the world of boundaries and discover the signs that you need better boundaries! 

You Are a ‘Yes’ Person 

Do you have a hard time saying “no”? Are you the go-getter, the problem-solver, and the one who can do what no one else can? 

At first, being the one who can handle anything feels like a badge of honour. The accolades, the praise—it’s all intoxicating. But here’s the twist: that initial high soon plummets into a pit of exhaustion and frustration.

Every “yes” you utter means a silent “no” to something else. That project you agreed to help your friend with? It’s precious family time you’re sacrificing. And that late-night task that seemed like a heroic feat? It’s robbing you of the self-care you truly deserve.

So this is your sign to rethink your powers and learn the art of strategic “no” s. 

You Take Responsibility For Things That Aren’t Your Fault

Ever find yourself apologizing for things that aren’t remotely your fault? Welcome to the “Sorry Syndrome. 

One classic symptom of boundary struggles is apologizing for other people’s feelings. You might catch yourself saying things like, “I’m sorry you feel bad” or “I’m sorry you had a bad day.” While empathy is a wonderful quality, taking on undue responsibility for others’ emotions isn’t.

Carrying someone else’s emotional baggage can be quite exhausting. So, get ready to kick the Sorry Syndrome to the curb and stop shouldering blame for feelings that aren’t yours to own. 

If You Can’t Beat Them, Join Them 

If you can’t beat them, join them – this is a common temptation when you’re dealing with people who aren’t treating you right. But hold on, boundary-setter, there’s a better way!

When others dive into gossip or start raising their voices, it doesn’t mean you have to follow suit. Your values should remain your guiding light. Instead of getting pulled into negativity, it’s the perfect moment to let your boundaries shine.

Also, remember boundaries don’t always require words. You can assert yourself without ever uttering a phrase. Walking away from a situation or ending a conversation sends a clear message that you won’t engage in activities that clash with your core values. 

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Embracing Positive Experiences

Jaclyn Baker
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Have you ever wondered why it’s easier to remember the bad stuff than the good? It’ss because the brain is wired that way, naturally gravitating towards negativity. But here’s the thing: dwelling on the negative can lead to stress, depression, and anxiety.

The good news is that you have the power to change that. Mindfulness is that secret weapon that can help you train your brain to focus on the positive, boost your mood and make you more resilient. By embracing positive experiences and pushing aside the negative, you can transform your life for the better.

Shifting your focus from negative to positive may feel unfamiliar, require effort, or seem time-consuming. Yet, even amidst life’s chaos, you can start small. Practice mindfulness, be aware of your thoughts, and try these simple tips to kickstart your journey toward positivity.

Turn Your Victories Into a Celebration

Acknowledge and applaud yourself for accomplishments, big or small. 

Keep a meticulous to-do list, and revel in the joy of checking off each task, no matter how mundane. Remember to include even the little things you might have once overlooked, like savoring a healthy snack or simply stepping outside. Every achievement counts.

 Remember, it’s these small wins that pave the path to a more positive and fulfilling life.

Accept Compliments Gracefully 

Accepting compliments with grace is an art that can brighten your day and strengthen relationships. Saying ‘thank you’ not only acknowledges their kindness but also fosters a sense of mutual connection. This connection benefits both you and the giver by creating positive energy in the interaction.  

Make it a point to rehearse your ‘thank you’ in your mind, and the next time you receive a compliment, seize the chance to say ‘thank you’ and keep the cycle of kindness going.

Embrace Nature’s Serenity 

Find solace in contemplative moments connected to nature and let yourself savor the beauty of the present. Because in nature’s embrace, you’ll discover the art of just being and finding peace in the simplicity of the moment.

Sometimes, all you need is a hug from nature that ensures you get that daily dose of tranquility and positivity.

 

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Value’s Compass

Jaclyn Baker
,

By: Tanya Kramer

Everyone wants to “live their best life” in alignment to their values.  But to do this, we have to take some time to figure out the value structure so we can make life decisions based on that information.

Here are some simple steps to create your own Value’s Compass.  I recommend doing this exercise at least once a year as a self-check-in.  Before sharing the steps, here are some definitions to help the process.

Values – “a person’s principles or standards of behavior, one’s judgments of what is important in life.”

Integrity – “quality of being honest and having strong moral principles.”

Compass – “an instrument containing a magnetized pointer which shows the direction of magnetic north and bearings from it.”  People use a map and compass to navigate and move over land, sea, or wilderness. It can be used to reach a destination.

So, why do we call this exercise a Value’s Compass?  The answer is that we use our personal integrity to identify “our” core values (not necessarily the values of our parents, friends, school, community, etc.), and by doing this, we create a tool which we can use to make important decisions in our life.  If we make decisions in our life based on our personal Value’s Compass, then we increase our potential for life happiness and decrease the experiences of regret.

Creating a Value’s Compass:

  • Using this website, review the different values listed in the “card sort” list. Write down each one that is a value to you.
  • Add to the list characteristics that are important to you (ex. trust, respect, etc.), entities that are important to you (ex. family, friends, pets, etc.), experiences that are important to you (ex. education, adventure, travel, quiet, etc.), and anything else that you value.  ***This could be a BIG list.
  • Take this list you have created and circle the top 20 Values. This does not mean the other Values are unimportant but take time to discern which ones are most meaningful to you.
  • Now, put a star by your top 10 of the 20 Values circled.
  • Take these 10 top Values and see if any naturally group together (ex., physical and emotional health, adventure and travel, etc.)
  • Finally, identify 4 top Values or groupings of values and fill them in the visual below, but instead of writing “north, east, south, west,” write in your 4 top Values.
  • Create an arrow similar to an arrow that exists on a Compass used for navigating, and write the word “Integrity” at the end of the arrow.
  • Put this Value’s Compass somewhere you will see it often, and screenshot it for your phone.  Whenever you make a difficult decision, consider your top values.
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Setting Healthy Boundaries

Jaclyn Baker
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Setting healthy boundaries for yourself is an important part of self-care. 

Those personal boundaries allow you to be open about your limits and clearly define what you’re comfortable with. 

Write Your Boundaries Down

When a situation makes you feel uncomfortable, you can write it out to better understand why. 

Reflect on the emotions you felt at the time and be honest about what could have triggered them. 

Writing your thoughts down on paper can give you a healthy outlet to vent and organize your thoughts. 

Talk To A Loved One

It can help to reach out to a friend, family member or peer you trust when thinking about your boundaries. 

Talking your feelings through with someone who respects and values you is a great start. You can communicate what boundaries you want to set and let them know where you are coming from. 

It can also help to hear the boundaries they have set for themselves and build on the connection you share with them.

Build On Your Boundaries

You can set your boundaries in stages. In time, you can compile a list of your needs and think about what is beneficial for your mental health. 

Over time, you can build on your boundaries by thinking about your past or present experiences. 

“Boundaries are, in simple terms, the recognition of personal space.” – Asa Don Brown

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International Day of Non-Violence

Jaclyn Baker
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By: Betsy Pownall, LPC

On October 2nd, we can recognize the International Day of Non-Violence. This day was established in 2007 by the General Assembly to spread the message of non-violence and promote a culture of peace, tolerance, and understanding. 

The basis of non-violence is to achieve social and political change without causing physical harm or violence. Throughout the years, our society has adopted this way of protesting to fight for social justice worldwide.

Violence can affect millions of lives and impact communities all over the world. According to the CDC, there are over 1.4 million people treated for assault in emergency rooms, and nearly 25,000 lives are lost to homicide. It’s important to note that violence is the leading cause of death, especially for people ages 15 to 34. 

Yet there are social causes of violence that are also a factor, including systemic racism, bias, and discrimination, that can be a driving force or violence – making violence a greater risk for people of color.

When we take the time to educate ourselves about the violence in our communities, we can develop plans to reduce violence. Many organizations strive to put an end to violence and transform social norms. 

Together we can work to advocate for a safer community for our family, friends, and peers. For more resources, check out the links below.

International Day of Non-Violence

Futures Without Violence

National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence 

National Family Justice Center Alliance

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Tips on Talking to Loved Ones in a DV Relationship

Jaclyn Baker
, ,

By: Betsy Pownall, LPC

It is difficult to know what to say when someone shares that they are in an abusive relationship.

Whether it be a friend, family member, or client, there is this moment of pause~the thought of, “How I respond right now will really matter.’

Here are some tips on what to and not do to/say when someone discloses this vulnerable fact of their lives.

What to say:

  1. “I’m sorry this has happened (or is happening) to you.”

Acknowledge you have heard what has been said, that you heard it and are listening. Acknowledge the courage it takes to disclose abuse and the strength it takes to survive. This is your opportunity to empathize.

  1. “No one deserves to be abused.”

This is a universal statement and an opportunity to connect with the survivor.

  1. “It’s not your fault.”

Don’t minimize the violence or blame the victim. The batterer is accountable and responsible for his/her choices and behaviors.

  1. “You are not alone.”

Violence in relationships is a widespread social problem, yet the victim often feels very alone. By generalizing, we can help the survivor understand that the abuse is not about who they are or what they did but about their partner’s attempt to maintain power and control.

  1. “There is help.”

Empower the survivor by offering information choices, safe space and support.

What not to say/do:

  1. Give advice.
  2. Change the subject.
  3. Ask trivial questions.
  4. Intellectualize the problem.
  5. Become emotional.
  6. Make decisions for them.
  7. Be evasive or elusive.
  8. Handle everything yourself.
  9. Ask ‘why’ questions.
  10. Pity them.
  11. Indulge in silly witticisms.
  12. Become insensitive or cold.
  13. Cut communication.
  14. Be judgmental or rejecting.
  • Don’t blame. The survivor is not at fault for the violence. It is never okay for one person to use force against another. Avoid questions that may sound blaming, such as “why don’t you just leave?”
  • Don’t participate in the denial. Violence does not change on its own; it often escalates. It will not simply ‘get better’.
  • Keep in mind: Battering is against the law.
  • Don’t ignore the danger. Is there a gun in the house? Are there children in the home?
  • Don’t focus on leaving if this does not seem to be a safe option. Help the survivor find ways to be safe.
  • Encourage developing a safety plan.
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To-Do Lists For Couples

Jaclyn Baker
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Creating a to-do list can help keep us accountable and get things done throughout the day.

But with that said, it’s also okay to be flexible with our lists.

Just because a morning starts out smooth sailing doesn’t mean it will stay that way. 

Sometimes last, minute tasks can pop up that take priority.

Or a certain task at hand can take far longer than initially anticipated. 

No matter how flexible or busy your day might be, writing down tasks can help keep you organized and on the ball.

Joint to-do lists work similarly for couples. 

Creating a couple’s to-do list requires the attention and participation of both partners.

Creating a to-do list with your partner can help you both stay on track and accomplish joint goals. 

Tackling Large Jobs

If you are your partner live together, it is only a matter of time until a large project around the house needs to be taken care of, such as full-on renovation, painting a room, or paying the bills.

Since those projects impact both of you, they should be tackled together to ensure nothing gets done twice or even forgotten about.

You and your partner can sit down and write out everything that must be done in the near future to make sure the project gets done.

And then, you can split up the tasks in a way that works best for you as a couple. 

Prioritization

When a project is so big, successfully completing all the steps can take weeks or even months.

For example, you may not be able to complete task C until task A is 100% done.

Exactly why it is crucial to know how to prioritize more urgent and/or time-sensitive tasks. 

Working together and collaborating can help couples grow and thrive.

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What Does it Look Like to Have Peace? From the Perspective of the “Father of Peace Studies”, Johan Galtung

Jaclyn Baker
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By: Christina Bein, MSW, LCSW

“Peace is something you make with your adversaries, not with your friends.” This quote is taken from Johan Galtung’s book, “Johan Galtung: Pioneer of Peace Research.” Johan Galtung is a sociologist from Norway who has dedicated his life to peace studies and founded Peace Research Institute Oslo, Journal of Peace Research, TRANSCEND, and the first online peace university. He has put his research and work in sociology into action by helping countries progress into finding agreements and creating peace treaties to end years of war.

I often think about what it would truly look like to have “peace.” What does peace even mean? Especially with the state of the world and the country in the year 2022, is peace even attainable? 

Political parties in the U.S. are at even more extreme odds than I have seen in my lifetime. Gun violence continues to permeate the news headlines, one horrific mass shooting after the next. The law appears to be stripping people of basic human rights that blatantly tells its citizens – your life is in the hands of the few in power, and therefore you are expendable.

There’s been a collective feeling of overwhelm. And yet, is this time any different than the country borderline wars, civil wars, religious wars, human rights wars, depressions and recessions that have dotted the timelines in our history books? 

Johan Galtung built a wealth of research on peace, but first, he had to define violence. He broke down violence into three categories: 

Direct violence, structural violence, and cultural or symbolic violence. 

By understanding these terms, it gives examples to understand the importance of the social connections we all have with one another. Galtung describes peace to be “a relation between two or more parties.” Peace becomes the property relation of two or more parties for which they all work to cultivate and care for.

Johan Galtung describes peace in two ways: 

  1. Negative Peace as being an absence of war and violence. 
  2. Positive Peace as “The integration of human society.” He brings these two forms of peace into consideration when applying his approach to creating an agreement for peace.

Identify the conflict: Communicate with curiosity to explore the goals of each party.

Mapping: Design a project that is conflict sensitive, respecting their legitimate goals. The “project” is a form of a creative solution that is presented as a question for the involved parties to consider engaging in or identifying how it can be incorporated in the agreement of respecting all parties’ goals.

Use empathy, nonviolent communication, and creativity.

Allow for legitimizing to bridge goals that help the involved parties to feel comfortable.

Legitimizing focuses on promoting human rights (ethics and basic needs) as the key to successfully building peace.

Be aware and address if other parties are involved and necessitate inclusion towards communication for peace.

While the “Father of Peace of Studies” has been tapped to help with creating peace on a macro and global level, his approach is also familiar in how we can use nonviolent communication and assertive requests to meet needs when directly communicating with another person or in our smaller communities. 

His approach to creating communication for peace gives us all a tool in how we can problem solve and foster some form of harmony with those around us. The more we can become familiar with the language of communication towards peace, the more practiced we can be in handling conflicts in a productive manner, wherever we go in our world. Link to the description of violence and the violence triangle:

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