confidence

Letting Go Of Resentments

It’s not uncommon to disagree with the people we love – even our romantic partners. 

But when the past starts to impact the future, it may be time to make some changes.

Decoding Our Resentments

Instead of pushing any feelings of resentment aside, we can try and realize what they’re trying to tell us. 

Doing so can help us work through them, accept them and move forward in a healthy way. All feelings have a purpose and something to teach us. 

Express Your Needs 

If you ever feel like you’re not having your needs met – it’s time to speak up!

Open communication and honesty is a two-way street.

Once you start opening up, your partner likely will as well, which in turn can strengthen your relationship. 

Write And Share

Sometimes the best way to get our thoughts out is to put them down on paper. 

What are your resentments? 

Where do you think they come from? 

What makes you think about them? 

Is there anything your partner can do to help? 

Oftentimes journaling can help us decode feelings we didn’t even know we had! 

If you catch any new feelings pop up alongside your journaling journey, you can share them with your partner. 

Every new conversation can help strengthen your bond and open up new doors.

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Best Friends Day

Did you know that June 8th is Best Friends Day? It’s a time to celebrate the social connections we have made as well as recognize the benefits that building strong social connections has on our lives.

It’s no secret that friends do so much for us–spending time together, celebrating the good times, and comforting us in the hard times. But having a social connection is also beneficial for our well-being and mental health.

Friends can:

  • Boost happiness and reduce your stress. 
  • Improve self-confidence and self-worth. 
  • Increase your purpose. 
  • Help you cope with challenges you may face. 

On this day we can also remind ourselves of the power of social connection. Research indicates that a lack of human connection can be more harmful to your health than obesity, smoking and high blood pressure. The pandemic has decreased our in-person connection while also increasing our online interactions.  While technology can help to connect us in new ways, excessive screen use also disconnects us from nature, from our own thoughts, and from others. We need face-to-face interaction in our lives and losing that piece of our society over the last two years has not been healthy.

If you are searching for ways to expand your social connections and make new friends, try some of these suggestions from the Canadian Mental health Association

  • Join a new club, or try out a group activity
  • Reach out to an old friend you’ve lost touch with
  • Volunteer for a cause you care about
  • Eat lunch in a communal space
  • Introduce yourself to your neighbours
  • Ask someone for help when you need it
  • Do a random act of kindness

Now is the time to check in with friends and acquaintances and let them know that they are important to you. 

For more resources, check out the links below. 

7 Thoughtful Ways to Celebrate National Best Friends Day

Connect With Others | Mental Health America

The Power of Friendship

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Acting As If You Feel Motivated

Let us know if any of these thoughts sound familiar?

“I would have been able to finish that task if I had more motivation.”

“How come some days I feel motivated, but some days I don’t?”

“I wish I knew the secret to becoming motivated!”

Now, motivation is an interesting thing as it can come and go in waves. Plus, some of our actions can slightly impact it, such as our sleeping patterns, eating habits and overall thoughts.

The following hacks may not be able completely transform your overall motivation, but they can certainly help! 

Practice Compassion

Whether you are having a good or bad day, it’s key to be kind to yourself. Pushing yourself too hard and not respecting your limits can bring on added pressure.

That feeling of pressure can actually make us more likely to procrastinate due to the fear of not being good enough.

On the flip side, when we treat ourselves with compassion, our motivation and willingness to succeed can increase.

Set Healthy Rewards 

Setting small rewards for yourself throughout the day can be very motivating. These rewards don’t have to be significant by any means. Plus, it’s always nice having something to look forward to.

You can set up a little reward system for yourself based on milestones.

Let’s say you have to complete a 5-page PowerPoint for work. Every time you finish one slide, you can treat yourself to a snack or watch a show for 20 minutes. 

Incorporate Fun Tasks When You Can 

We are much more likely to put off tasks we find boring or scary. Pairing something we don’t love with something we do – can help make the task at hand much more fun. 

You can listen to music or a podcast while running errands, call your best friend while cleaning the house, or watch your favorite show while cooking dinner.

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Relieving Stress One Habit At A Time

Stress is a normal part of life.

We may not be able to control every situation, but we can find ways to minimize potential stressful events through our actions.

Be Prepared

Let us know if any of these thoughts sound familiar…

Oh, I’ve got to print out those directions before my hike next week. 

I have that big presentation tomorrow. I can’t forget to email my boss those notes. 

I can’t forget to get gas before my road trip this weekend.

Sometimes those tasks can take a lot longer than originally anticipated.

When time is of the essence, basic activities such as filling up gas can be quite stressful. 

Knocking those chores off the list sooner rather than later can take a huge weight off your shoulders. Every task completed is one less thing to worry about. 

Make a Habit of Setting Reminders

Regularly keeping your eyes on your watch throughout the day can be exhausting and prevent you from living in the present moment.

Setting aside 5 – 10 minutes every night before bed to set alarms for important events the following day is a great habit to get into. 

If you like, you can even set your alarm a few minutes earlier than necessary – in case you need a little buffer time.

Have an Appropriate Backup Plan

Even the most well-thought-out plans aren’t guaranteed to go smooth sailing every time, and that’s okay!

Life is unpredictable and frustrating events do happen.

Even if you leave your house 30 minutes earlier than necessary to get to a meeting, you still might be late.

Brainstorming a few solutions or backup plans in advance can give you some peace of mind. 

For example, if you get stuck in heavy traffic and don’t think you’ll be able to make a meeting on time, you can pull over and do the meeting from the car or let them know you will be there as soon as you can and encourage them to start without you.

Having those backup plans in place ahead of time can help prevent any stress or anxiety on your journey. 

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Mastering The Art Of Conversation

Do you ever feel intimidated in social situations?

Have you ever wanted to walk up to someone new but didn’t know what to say?

Do you ever have a tough time holding a conversation? 

Mastering the art of conversation is possible. 

The following steps can help you feel more confident and comfortable during your next social interaction.

Get Ready

Not all of us can jump right into a conversation, and that’s okay! 

Sometimes all we need is a little mental preparation.

Before diving in, you can practice deep breathing or repeat positive affirmations. 

Instead of worrying about what the other person may say, you can think about what you may learn or gain from the conversation. 

Keep It Light

When meeting someone new, keeping topics light can be a lot less intimidating. 

Starting simple is the way to go. 

You can ask the other person where they are from, compliment their outfit or ask how they know the event organizer. As time goes on, you can dive into deeper topics when/if you feel comfortable. 

Listen And Learn

We can get to know others through active listening and taking an interest in their opinions. 

We may not agree with everything other people say, but we can listen and learn from their perspectives.

Don’t be afraid to dive in and ask them how they feel about certain topics. Their answers may surprise you. 

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Mental Health Awareness Month

Mental illness is a condition that affects a person’s thinking, feeling, behavior or mood.  It can significantly impact the activities of daily living and may also affect the ability to relate to others.  Mental illness is no one’s fault or the result of weakness.  It is the result of a confluence of factors including genetics, brain structure, biochemical processes (such as how your body produces or is able to use dopamine), environment and lifestyle influences (high stress, trauma experiences).   Mental health conditions are very common and nothing to be ashamed of.  According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), 

  • 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year
  • 1 in 20 U.S. adults experience serious mental illness each year
  • 1 in 6 U.S. youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year
  • 50% of all lifetime mental illness begins by age 14, and 75% by age 24

Unfortunately in many communities, the stigma of having a mental illness persists and discourages people from getting treatment because they are ashamed. The stigma around mental illness and treatment prevents 40% of people from reaching out and can create serious barriers to finding a diagnosis or treatment. 

At Vista, we view going to therapy as a general self-care task that everyone can benefit from, similar to getting a massage or going to the doctor to make sure your body stays healthy.  As there is a strong correlation between mental health and physical health, working on your mental health can benefit you in more than one way.  For example, people with serious mental illness are nearly twice as likely to develop cardiovascular and metabolic diseases than the general population.

During May, we recognize Mental Health Awareness Month. It is a time to bring awareness to mental health issues and help to decrease the stigma around mental illness and treatment in our communities. 

Mental Health Awareness Month was first established in 1949 to highlight the importance of mental wellness and effective treatments that help people live full lives.

To reduce the stigma and emphasize the importance of treatment and recovery, we can educate ourselves about mental health and mental disorders. Being aware of our actions towards others allows us to place ourselves in someone else’s shoes.

This month’s goal is to provide a foundation for knowledge about mental health and give those the resources needed to seek help. 

Check out more resources below:

People Seeking Help | CDC Mental Health Resources

People Matter, Words Matter

Help For Mental Illnesses | National Institute of Mental Health

We All Have Mental Health | YouTube

Talk About Mental Health

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Exuding Confidence 101

Having confidence in ourselves comes from believing we are capable of doing anything! 

When we think positively about our skills, qualities, and personality, it motivates us to embrace new opportunities. 

Reminding ourselves of our strengths each day can positively impact us in so many ways. 

Talk The Talk

Exuding confidence is all about how we talk to ourselves. 

Practicing positive self-talk can change our outlook and overall self-esteem. 

Our thoughts have the power to become a reality – both positively and negatively. You have the power to achieve great things by thinking positively. 

For example, you can create go-to phrases for yourself, such as “I’m perfect just as I am.” Or “I can achieve anything that comes my way.” 

Those kinds of thoughts can be great mood-boosters and work as a starting point to building more confidence. 

Think About The Past

We can measure our progress by reflecting upon how much we have grown over the past week, month or year. 

It’s important to remind ourselves of past successes to know that we can create similar opportunities in the future. 

You deserve to be proud of all your accomplishments. Even ones that have happened years ago. 

Taking trips down memory lane can help remind you just how talented and successful you are. 

“When you have confidence, you can do anything.” – Sloane Stevens

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Feel Like You Have Too Many Things On Your Plate? Here’s What To Do

We all have those days when our to-do list feels completely unattainable and stressful.  

Believe it or not, your to-do list may not be as intimidating as anticipated.

Just because a particular task feels complex doesn’t mean it is! 

An overwhelming to-do list has the potential to become a simple one with a few mindset shifts.

Make a Decision

Have you ever put off making a decision (big or small) due to the fear of making the wrong one?

The thing is, the longer we put off making a decision, the harder and scarier it tends to become.

It’s so easy to tell yourself…

 “Oh, I will decide once I have more information.”

Or,

“I can’t decide XYZ until I figure out XYZ.”

Even though decision-making isn’t always easy – it’s part of life. Procrastinating can be exhausting both physically and mentally.

Making decisions faster can help give you more time in the day to focus on other activities, which in turn can help you knock more items off your daily list. 

Come Up With a Strategy For New Tasks

We all have those tasks we do on a daily basis that are pretty smooth sailing. 

But what happens when we have to do something new?

Working on new tasks is unavoidable – whether it be personal or professional.

Doing anything new for the first time can be draining and potentially take twice as long as it ideally should.

The good news is there are several tactics out there that can help make completing new tasks easier and faster such as listening to music or munching on your favorite snack.

Give it a try and see what happens. 

Done is Better Than Perfect

Spending 3+ hours on a task that should ideally take around 30 minutes won’t necessarily result in a better outcome.

More often than not, overthinking tasks can lead to more mistakes and limit our ability to be creative.

Accepting and embracing that done is better than perfect can potentially transform your overall productivity. 

“Don’t mistake activity with achievement.” – John Wooden

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When Things Don’t Go According To Plan

Life is full of ups and downs, and things don’t always go our way.

Even the most thought-out plans can go sideways. That doesn’t mean you give up.

It just means you may have to re-route and change your path.

Channel Your Energy in a New Way 

Channelling your energy into a new engaging activity can help get your mind focused on something new and positive. 

Habits are great – however when we constantly do the same thing day in, and day out, we can find ourselves stuck in a rut.

Incorporating activities (big and small) into our day to day can help us look at things in a new way and re-set our motivation. 

Be Kind to Yourself and Others 

“Be careful how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.” – Lisa M. Hayes

The words we say to ourselves are so powerful. Even though it may not always feel like it, you have complete control over the stories you tell yourself.

A negative thought can quickly be transformed into a positive one if you allow it.

Being kind to yourself is just as important as being kind to others.

You have the courage within you to be kind! 

Be Honest With Yourself

Not all feelings are easy to pinpoint.

When there is so much going on, acknowledging how we feel isn’t always easy. 

Feelings such as disappointment, anger or sadness don’t always fade away on their own. 

Often they need to be noticed and reflected upon before they leave. 

The thing is, we can’t manage a feeling we don’t even know we have.

Setting aside 5 – 10 minutes a day to check in on ourselves and be completely honest about how we feel can help us become more in tune with our emotions.

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International Women’s Day

On March 8th we celebrate International Women’s Day. This day is meant to recognize the cultural, political, and socio-economic achievements of women from all around the world. During this time we can remember the challenges women have overcome throughout history and bring the women’s rights movement to the forefront. 

The earliest Women’s Day was celebrated on February 28, 1909 in New York City and was sponsored by the Socialist Party of America.  It was encouraged by the women’s suffrage movement in New Zealand as well as originating from labor movements in North America and Europe during the early 20th century.  It is now a day to think about gender equality and how we can create equal opportunities for women across the globe. The 2022 UN theme for International Women’s Day is “Gender equality today for a sustainable tomorrow.”  The goal is to highlight the contributions of women and girls around the world in promoting climate change adaptation, mitigation, and response, in order to build a more sustainable future for all. (Wikipedia)

We can all come together to provide support to women who are facing oppression, prejudice, or violence. 

We can advocate for women by acknowledging the injustices they face and seeing how to create lasting change within our own communities. 

Learning more about women’s rights and the inequalities they still face today can help us to have open conversations about these topics. 

International Women’s Day is also a time to celebrate the accomplishments of women. Whether it be from iconic women figures in our society or the everyday achievements of women of our family, friends, and peers. 

We can all take a moment to think about the women in our lives who inspire us daily. 

For additional resources, you can check out the links below:

Organizations Committed To Diversity, Equity and Inclusion 

IWD 2022 Campaign Theme: #BreakTheBias

#BreakTheBias For IWD And Beyond Through Your Message To The World | YouTube

International Women’s Day | Books

History of International Women’s Day

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