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The Importance of Positive Self Talk

Jaclyn Baker
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What do you tell your loved ones when they make a mistake?

You did the best you could, or everything will be just fine.

Now, what do you tell yourself when you make a mistake?

Do you give yourself the same level of care and compassion – or are you a little hard on yourself?

It’s so common to be our own worst critics and get stuck in a spiral of negative self-talk.

Learning how to embrace mistakes can change the way we deal with them.

Here’s how…

Reflect On The Scenario 

Once we have made a mistake, there is nothing we can do to change what happened. 

All we can do is alter our mindset at the moment and seek the silver lining.

Every single event that happens to us is part of our story and can teach us something. 

Access Our Strengths 

You have so much strength within you.

You can do anything you set your mind to! 

You have recovered from old mistakes in the past, and you will again. 

Acknowledging that you are human and will face challenges again can help you feel more prepared for them! 

Practice Positive Affirmations 

Setting aside even a few minutes a day to practice positive affirmations can help us feel better about ourselves and help change negative thought patterns into positive ones. 

You can say your positive affirmations out loud, write them down, or do a bit of both.

When it comes to affirmations, there are no set in stone rules – however, you will want to ensure that they spotlight you in a positive light.

Here are a few examples that can help you get started:

1) I am confident.

2) I am proud of myself and all of my accomplishments.

3) Today is going to be an amazing day.

4) I am excellent at what I do and am grateful for all of my opportunities.

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How To Better Understand And Manage Holiday Season Stress

Jaclyn Baker
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The holiday season is typically known as “the most wonderful time of the year.” 

Spending time with family, attending dinners and picking out gifts can be a lot of fun – but can also be stressful and tiring. 

Practicing self care is essential 365 days a year. 

However – it is much more important during busy and/or stressful events such as the holidays. 

If you feel like you are taking on too much or need a break, it’s okay to respect your body’s limits. 

Not sure how or where to begin? Keep on reading. 

Accept Your Needs

It’s so important to carve out time for self care.

We are all human and can only go so long without taking a break. 

If a friend or family member asks you to do something, it’s okay to say no if you don’t think you can handle it.

Regularly check in with yourself and think about your needs and wants. 

If a certain activity brings you joy, keep on doing it.

And if a certain activity brings on stress, it may be time to walk away or at least cutback. 

Taking Shortcuts

Believe it or not, shortcuts are absolutely okay and even encouraged in certain situations.

If you feel like you have too much on your plate, you can certainly ask for help or scale back on commitments.

Focus on Your Breathing

Whether you’re feeling relaxed, overwhelmed or an emotion in between, taking slow deep breaths regularly is key. 

Carving out a few minutes a day to sit down and do nothing other than focus on your breathing can help reduce stress and bring on a new sense of calm.

You can practice deep breathing anytime and anywhere. 

The more you practice, the sooner it will become a habit. 

“There are times when we stop, we sit still. We listen and breezes from a whole other world begin to whisper.” —James Carroll

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Building Bridges

Jaclyn Baker
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We live in a world that has become quite polarized. 

Despite the frustration that can come from interactions, there are positive things to learn from differing perspectives. Have you ever noticed that when you meet someone with a different viewpoint in person, rather than online, you have more empathy for their point of view? Taking the anonymity out of an interaction can help the other side seem more real.

Some guidelines for embracing diversity:

Have an open mind: If someone has a different outlook than you, take the time to hear them out and try to understand where they are coming from.

Show empathy: Try to get to know the person better without judgement.

Challenge stereotypes: Become more aware of the language you use to describe others. Is it accurate?

Share your beliefs: Try to share in a way that is non-judgemental to those with different beliefs.  Help people understand where you are coming from.

Accepting others as they are:

  • Increases your own personal growth.
  • Decreases resentments as you can focus on what is positive instead of what is negative.
  • Brings about closeness with others
  • Allows you to let go of control of the situation

Embracing the diversity in our society is how we can learn and grow. By accepting each other regardless of our differences, we can find ways to connect genuinely.

Embracing differences might mean trying to understand different opinions without judgement.  And it can be challenging as others might not be as dedicated to making changes as you are. 

At the end of the day, we are all human. We all experience fears, joys, and laughter in our own way. 

We may not all be the same, but that’s why it’s even more important to acknowledge and embrace these differences. They are what makes everyone special. 

You can explore these resources to learn more: 

Empathy – Accept Other For Who They Are

6 Steps For Building An Inclusive Workplace

11 Books To Read If You Want To Be A More Inclusive Leader

Teaching Kindness And Acceptance Toward Differences | For Parents 

How To Seek Out And Celebrate Diversity In And Out Of Your Community

Ways to Get Your Energy Back

Jaclyn Baker
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Have you ever had one of those days that left you feeling emotionally and physically exhausted?

If you answered yes – you are not alone. We all have those days. 

We have more control over our energy than we give ourselves credit for. 

Just because you wake up one morning with low energy doesn’t mean that feeling will last the entire day. 

There are several little things you can do, starting from the moment you wake up that can help increase your energy – even if it’s just a little bit.

Remember To Smile

You know that saying fake it till you make it?

Well, smiling (even when you don’t feel like it) is the perfect example of that saying in action. 

Smiling can trick our brains into thinking we are happy and in a great mood. 

The next time you’re feeling drained or not your best, walk on over to your bathroom mirror and smile for 5 minutes. 

It may feel a little uncomfortable at first, but don’t knock until you try it. 

Take Your Time Getting Ready

Our morning routine can significantly impact the rest of our day.

Waking up ten minutes before you have to leave the house can be quite stressful and exhausting in itself.

Taking 30 minutes to an hour to take a long shower, pick out an outfit that makes you feel good and have a nice breakfast can help you walk into the day with a relaxed and upbeat mindset. 

Start Small

Not everything has to be done all at once. 

Knocking items off our list at a steady pace can help those more draining tasks feel simple and even fun.

The act of ticking items off of your list can be very motivating, which in turn can help increase our confidence and overall energy levels. 

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No One Is You And That Is Your Superpower

Jaclyn Baker
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Here’s a quick question for you. 

What top three qualities do you love most about yourself?

Okay – now here is a second question. 

When was the last time you sat down and thought about all the amazing qualities you have? 

Sometimes we can forget to remind ourselves how much we have to offer.

No one is you, and that is your superpower. 

View Yourself With a Healthy Outlook 

We all have those days where it feels like nothing goes our way. 

Every “bad” day has the potential to turn into a great one. 

All it takes is a little perspective shifting. 

Even if something feels overwhelming or stressful right now, that does not mean you will feel this way forever.

Believe that you can handle anything – and you will! 

Listen To What Makes You Happy

Listing and respecting what makes you happy in life can significantly boost your self-esteem.

If reading just one chapter of a book makes you feel good, keep on doing it. 

There is no need to put excess pressure on yourself just to make someone else happy. 

Walking away from something that does not bring you joy is not quitting – it is respecting your time and wellbeing.

After all, the most important relationship you will ever have is the one with yourself.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson

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When’s The Last Time You Had a Great Laugh?

Jaclyn Baker
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Have you ever had one of those days where everything that could go wrong did?

You set your alarm for the wrong time…

Ran out of your favorite cereal…

And forgot to wash your only fancy shirt to wear to that important meeting…

Yup – those days are not fun, but we have them. 

When you want to lighten the mood, sometimes the best thing you can do is laugh it off. 

How, you may ask? Keep on reading. 

Change The Story You Tell Yourself

It isn’t always so easy to turn an embarrassing or tough situation around, but laughter has the power to boost our mood and change our perspective.

When something doesn’t go as planned, we have two choices.

We can either feel bad about it and let it impact our day.

Or, we can say to ourselves, “Yes – that happened, and everything is going to be okay. Let’s look for the humor in the situation.”

You Can Take On Anything

With laughter comes perspective. 

Sure, maybe you took a wrong turn and got lost, or accidentally spilled coffee all over your desk…

But we’re all human, and sometimes the unexpected happens. 

And you know what else? Those unexpected events usually turn out to be the best stories and memories. Being able to laugh at yourself and try again can give you a brand new sense of confidence. 

“Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century.” – Barry Humphries

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Happy & Healthy Relationship Habits

Jaclyn Baker
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Every couple is unique, but when it comes to maintaining a healthy and happy relationship, some factors do overlap.

Letting Conversation Flow

Open communication is an important part of any relationship. It all comes down to feeling comfortable talking about anything and everything.

Being able to openly talk about light and heavy topics can help you learn about one another on a deeper level. 

It’s all about keeping the communication lines open and not holding anything back. 

Laughter

Amongst mutual respect and acceptance, laughter can help make a couple stronger. Many years from now, you may not remember every activity you and your partner did together, but you will remember the laughter. 

Listening

Everyone deserves to feel heard and seen – and your partner is no exception. 

Paying attention to the small details can make the biggest difference. 

Authentically wanting to listen to your partner is one of the many ways you can show them you care. You may not always see eye to eye, and that’s okay. All you can do is listen and be there. 

Creating a Sense of Comfort 

Being able to relax and be yourself around your partner is so important. You should always stay true to who you are and do what makes you happy. There is only one you, and you should never feel like you have to change your interests, ideas or values to please someone else.

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Saying Yes to Yourself

Jaclyn Baker
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Are you someone who has a hard time saying no? Do you feel like you constantly put others before yourself? 

Now, being generous, caring and kind are all fantastic qualities to have. 

However, saying yes to everyone around you can have you feeling emotionally and physically exhausted.

When you are constantly running around and doing things for everyone else, you can often forget to leave a little kindness for yourself. 

Only Take On What You Can Handle

The challenge with putting other people’s wants and needs ahead of your own is that you’re often the last on your list. 

If your friend asks you to edit their essay but you’re busy working away on your own – take time to reflect before responding. 

Will helping your friend prevent you from finishing your essay on time? 

If so, you may have to politely decline or offer to help once you’ve finished your own work. 

It’s okay to take a step back and be honest about what you realistically can and can’t handle. 

Practicing the art of saying “no” can get you more comfortable with saying it more often. 

Your Feelings Are Valid

Being told you are “wrong” is not a great feeling. 

Just because someone doesn’t see eye-eye with you doesn’t mean you are wrong. It just means you have a difference of opinion. Your feelings are valid and nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. 

Accept The Hard Times

It’s okay not to be okay! 

Sometimes when times are tough, we just have to roll with the punches and remind ourselves that this too shall pass. 

No matter what you say or do, conflict will arise at some point or another, and going out of our way to avoid it can be very exhausting. 

The more you practice, the more natural it will become to put yourself first. 

“If you try to please all, you please none” – Aesop

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Embracing Your Emotions & Letting Yourself Feel

Jaclyn Baker
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Do any of these phrases sound familiar…

“There’s no need to cry.”

“Don’t be sad. This isn’t so bad.”

“Don’t cry.” 

So many of us have been told by friends and family to hold our emotions back, which can make us feel like we can’t express ourselves.

Even though holding back tears may feel like the “right” thing to do at the moment – holding our emotions in can prolong the healing process. 

Sadness Makes us Human 

Even though experiencing sadness, anger, anxiety, or fear typically isn’t fun, it is entirely normal. 

Sadness is a basic human emotion and is part of what makes us human.

Feelings come and go – but it’s important to have them.

If we didn’t experience sadness, we might not be able to understand and appreciate happiness. 

All of your experiences, both positive and negative, have helped transform you into who you are today.

Fighting Our Feelings

When we’re upset about something, it’s so easy to tell yourself and others that you are fine, when in reality, you are not.

Re-assuring yourself that you’ll be okay isn’t always enough to accept and move past negative feelings.

Take note of your emotions and remind yourself that your feelings are valid and it’s okay to have them.

Processing

Processing and experiencing feelings is part of being human. 

Life is a rollercoaster, and no two days are exactly the same.

Some days will be amazing. Some will be tough. And some will be somewhere in the middle.

We know it’s tough, but it’s what life is all about.

Whether you’re having a good, bad or in-between kind of day, it’s important to treat yourself with kindness and practise coping strategies.

There is no right or wrong way to cope with emotions.

It’s all about figuring out what works best for you. 

“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it…” – Nicholas Sparks

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