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The Importance of Positive Self Talk

What do you tell your loved ones when they make a mistake?

You did the best you could, or everything will be just fine.

Now, what do you tell yourself when you make a mistake?

Do you give yourself the same level of care and compassion – or are you a little hard on yourself?

It’s so common to be our own worst critics and get stuck in a spiral of negative self-talk.

Learning how to embrace mistakes can change the way we deal with them.

Here’s how…

Reflect On The Scenario 

Once we have made a mistake, there is nothing we can do to change what happened. 

All we can do is alter our mindset at the moment and seek the silver lining.

Every single event that happens to us is part of our story and can teach us something. 

Access Our Strengths 

You have so much strength within you.

You can do anything you set your mind to! 

You have recovered from old mistakes in the past, and you will again. 

Acknowledging that you are human and will face challenges again can help you feel more prepared for them! 

Practice Positive Affirmations 

Setting aside even a few minutes a day to practice positive affirmations can help us feel better about ourselves and help change negative thought patterns into positive ones. 

You can say your positive affirmations out loud, write them down, or do a bit of both.

When it comes to affirmations, there are no set in stone rules – however, you will want to ensure that they spotlight you in a positive light.

Here are a few examples that can help you get started:

1) I am confident.

2) I am proud of myself and all of my accomplishments.

3) Today is going to be an amazing day.

4) I am excellent at what I do and am grateful for all of my opportunities.

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Feeling Irritable For No Reason?

Let us know if this sounds familiar…

You wake one morning feeling a little irritable, and your family catches on and asks why you’re grumpy…

Instead of letting them in, you respond, saying you’re fine and they are exaggerating. 

Denying how you’re feeling won’t help matters. In fact, it can even make you feel worse. Now, you don’t have to tell everyone you know how you’re feeling 24/7. However, you’d be surprised how therapeutic venting can be.

Even if there is nothing your friend or family member can do, talking does help. 

Think About The Reason Behind Your Irritability 

Sometimes an event can make us irritable, such as accidentally burning your meal or breaking something. But that’s not always the case.

Sometimes we can feel frustrated or upset and not even know why. 

It’s possible something or someone in your life is causing you stress, but it hasn’t fully sunk in yet.  If you’re not sure and would like to find out, try looking for patterns. Is there a certain time or day of the week you catch yourself feeling irritable?

If so, take some time to reflect. 

Here’s an example. If you catch yourself feeling irritable late at night or early in the morning, that may be a sign you aren’t getting enough sleep. 

Take a Break

Almost everything takes longer and feels much harder when you’re frustrated. When you’re not feeling your best, generally the best thing you can do is call it a day. 

Now, calling it a day is not the same thing as quitting. It’s simply a matter of listening to your body and understanding its limits.

Change Your Thoughts

When something isn’t going your way, it’s so easy to let negative thoughts take over.

Here’s something for you to think about…

Which of the following thoughts do you think would help you feel better faster?

“I can’t believe I slept through this meeting. My team must be so disappointed in me. What if I get fired?”

Or,

“So, I slept in this morning and missed my meeting. I am going to call my boss and apologize. I think I will go to sleep early tonight so I can get up early tomorrow.”

In both scenarios, the person slept in and missed their meeting, which can be frustrating… that is, if you let it be. 

Looking at the facts and challenging negative thoughts may not be able to eliminate irritability completely. But it can certainly take the edge off.

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Practices to Prevent Holiday Stress

Time certainly does fly, and the holiday season will be here before we know it.

You know what they say. The holidays are the most wonderful time of the year. 

But they can also be quite stressful. Everything from sending holiday cards to finding the ‘perfect’ gift can bring on anxiety. 

The good news is, there are several tips and tricks that can help make the holiday season less stressful.

Keep on reading to learn more.

Set Priorities: 

Even though this year our holiday events will be smaller and/or take place virtually, we still need to set priorities. 

We only have so many hours in a day and can only attend so many virtual events without feeling burned out. 

Don’t be afraid to politely decline events if you ever feel like you have too much on your plate. 

Set a Schedule: 

When life gets busy, we can often forget to take breaks or differentiate between high priority and low priority tasks.

Some tasks should be completed before others. And some tasks don’t even need to be completed at all.

As we stated earlier, everything from sending cards to buying gifts to preparing meals can be exhausting. 

We all have our own focus style. Some people prefer doing difficult tasks all in one sitting. 

While others prefer breaking up difficult tasks and slowly working on them throughout the day.

It all comes down to what works best for you. 

Take Shortcuts If You Can:

Holiday traditions are not an all or nothing thing.

Never feel guilty about putting yourself first. If you’re ever at a virtual event and too exhausted to stay until the end, you can always leave a little bit early. 

Self-care is important all year round. If you have a feeling the holidays may be a bit stressful this year, there is no need to worry.

Simply listen to your body and carve out some extra me-time. 

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How To Become More Resilient And Embrace The New Normal

Adjusting to the new normal is definitely easier than done. The new normal is constantly changing and our days are full of uncertainty.

Everything from school to work to home life is like something we’ve never experienced before. When life is so uncertain, it’s normal to experience stress, exhaustion or burnout. 

Now, you may be wondering how you can adjust to an ever-changing situation. Keep on reading to learn more. 

Accept That Life is Different Right Now:

It’s no secret that 2020 has been far different than 2019, and so many things that used to be easy, now feel so hard.

Remember, accepting a tough situation does not mean you are giving up. It simply means you are accepting reality instead of fighting it.

Do What You Love:

When life gets busy, sometimes we can forget to take the time to do what we love. Even though we may not be able to go to restaurants or spend time with friends, that doesn’t mean we can’t have fun at home.

Instead of attending your favourite restaurant on Friday night, you can order takeout and dress up.

Instead of going out with your friends on Saturday night, you can have a group zoom call.

It may not be the exact same, but it is much better than nothing.

Build a Resilience Bank Account:

You are so much more resilient than you give yourself credit for. You just may not know it yet. 

It is never too late to start implementing resilience-building habits. Getting enough sleep, eating right, exercising and practicing compassion are all great places to start. 

You also don’t have to make significant changes in one day. You can start slow and work your way up. Starting slowly is far better than not starting at all. Learn More

Coping With Parenting Stress By Pressing The Pause Button

Being a parent is a full-time job. Although it’s very rewarding, it can also be quite stressful.

These past several months have been a lot to take in for both parents and children.

And now that back-to-school is just around the corner, both you and your child may be experiencing additional stress.

Whether your stress levels are high or low, taking just a few moments to pause every day can help you live in the moment and decrease stress.

Here are a few tips and tricks that can help you get started…

Prioritize:

There are only so many hours in a day to get things done. When life gets busy, we can often put our hobbies and/or passion projects on hold. 

Never feel guilty about practicing self-care and doing things that make you happy. 

Self-Compassion:

As a parent, it’s common to put your child’s needs before your own and put yourself last. 

At the end of the day, you have to be your own best friend – not your worst enemy.

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself some credit. You are doing the best you can.

Focus On The Here And The Now:

No matter what we say or do, we can’t change the past and we can’t predict the future.

Sometimes we can spend hours worrying about what may or may not happen tomorrow, instead of living in the moment and focusing on the now.

No one knows for sure what the rest of the year has in store for us. All we can do is spend time with loved ones, appreciate life and hit the pause button when we need to. Learn More

Let’s Rediscover Your Motivation

You have the ability to achieve anything you set your mind to! You just have to rediscover your motivation!

Set SMART Goals:

Regular goal setting is a fantastic way to increase your overall motivation.

Setting SMART goals can give you something to work towards on a day to day basis, and give you a sense of direction. You don’t have to set large goals right away. You can start small and work your way up. 

Just remember to keep your goals SMART: 

Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Timely. 

Set Daily Tasks:

Of course, having a solid set of goals can help you stay on track and think about the future. However, sometimes that isn’t enough to keep you motivated throughout the day. 

When you have so many things to do, it can often be difficult to know where to begin.

Taking just a few minutes every morning to write down your most important tasks can help declutter the mind and prioritize your day. Whenever a task is completed, you can cross it off and move onto the next one. 

At the end of the day, you can look back on your list and celebrate how much you got done.

Build a Consistent Routine:

Writing out a to-do list is one thing. Following it in an appropriate order is another.

There will always be items on your list that ideally should be completed before others. Some people prefer to tackle the most complicated items first thing, while others prefer to take it easy and work their way up.

You know yourself best. If you want to succeed, you have to do what works for you. A great hack is to label your to-do list in order of priority.

An “A” task must always be completed before a “B” task, and a B task must always be completed before a “C” task.

Emphasize Self-Care:

Practicing self-care and listening to your body is one of the best ways to prevent burnout. When we’re constantly on the go and worrying about things, it’s easy for our motivation to slip away. 

We all have those days where we just don’t feel motivated – and that’s okay!

Continuing to work on a task when our energy levels just aren’t there can be very exhausting and counterproductive.

If you feel like you need a break, go take one!

Call a Friend:

Being around people can be very motivating and give you some much-needed energy. As you know, getting together with friends is not an option right now. But that doesn’t mean you can’t call or FaceTime the people you love.

The next time you catch yourself feeling unmotivated, call up a friend and talk about something you love and/or are excited about.

That simple change of mindset can completely transform your mood.

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How To Stop Worrying – A Step By Step Guide

Do any of these thoughts sound familiar?

What if I fail?

What if I’m not good enough?

What if this doesn’t work out?

What if they don’t like me?

If you answered yes to any of the above, you are not alone! Constantly worrying can really take a toll on our health. So many of us tend to worry about things that are extremely unlikely to happen or things we have little – no control over. We may not be able to completely stop our worries, but we can dial down their intensity.

Identify The Trigger:

First things first, you’ll have to figure out what thoughts or events are causing you to worry. Did something recently happen? Are you going through a significant lifestyle change? Are you worried about what may or may not happen tomorrow? Once you understand the trigger or cause, you can work towards finding a solution. 

Journal:

Sometimes when we’re so worried, our imagination can get the best of us and make things feel bigger than they actually are.

Actually sitting down and writing out our thoughts and worries can help us better understand them and put them into perspective. Thoughts often look different on paper than they do in our mind after all. 

Think About The Evidence:

Remember, just because you feel something doesn’t make it true. Feelings are not facts!

Saying that out loud is one thing. Believing it is another. If you’re having a hard time finding appropriate evidence, here are a couple of questions you can ask yourself:

Has this worry come true in the past? If, so, how likely is it to happen again? 

What’s the worst thing that can happen?

Talk To Yourself Like You Would To Someone You Love:

Do you ever feel like you talk to your friends differently than you talk to yourself?

If a friend was going through what you are right now, what would you tell them to do? It’s time to become your own best friend and think things through rationally. Learn More

Making Decisions – Even When It’s Hard

Take It One Step At a Time

We often procrastinate because we’re afraid of what may or may not happen next.

Of course, the unknown can be scary. But it’s part of life, and we never know what the future has in store.

Whether we procrastinate or not, the day will still go on. 

When in doubt, the best thing you can do is break up your responsibilities into small realistic steps. 

You may not have all the answers right now, and that’s okay. 

You have two choices. You can either worry about what may or may not happen. Or you can trust your instincts and be confident that when/if any problems arise, you have what it takes to handle them. 

Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable 

There’s nothing wrong with having a strong support system and seeking advice from them. The thing is, when we seek advice from the same people over and over again, it’s easy to get a little too comfortable.

There is always more than one way to do something. Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone and seek advice from someone new. It’s time to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. 

Avoid Avoidance

The longer we put something off, the scarier it tends to become. 

It is so much harder to make decisions when you’re scared or overwhelmed by anxiety.

All of those emotions can interfere with your decision-making skills and significantly delay the process.  

You may never feel 100% ready, and that’s completely okay. 

The journey may be bumpy, and you may make some mistakes along the way. You just have to remember that failure shouldn’t be avoided as it is your greatest teacher. Learn More

Anger Serves A Purpose

Anger is a normal human emotion. And like all emotions, it serves a purpose. Anger can guide you towards positive change and inspire you to set long term goals. 

Accept Your Anger:

It’s a common misconception that anger is a negative emotion and should be avoided at all costs. When in fact that is far from the truth. Dismissing and avoiding anger tends to intensify and prolong it. 

We all get angry. Accepting and embracing your anger can help keep it under control. 

Here’s an example. Let’s say traffic jams often make you angry, and in turn, cause your palms to sweat.

Instead of getting frustrated, take a few deep breaths, and accept what is happening. 

Remind yourself that your sweaty palms are simply the body’s physical response to anger and nothing to worry about. You are experiencing a human emotion, and it shall pass. 

Identify Your Anger:

Once you’ve accepted and come to terms with your anger, you have to identify the reason behind is.

Anger is communicating a need for change. You just need to figure out what that change is and its significance. 

Why do you think you’re angry right now? What is your anger trying to tell you? 

Establish Boundaries:

Once you’ve identified the source behind your anger, you can reset your boundaries and set appropriate expectations. 

Anger is an emotion for a reason and serves a purpose. 

It can teach you about yourself, others and the world around you. 

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Reducing Anxiety and Stress During COVID-19

Experiencing fear, anxiety, sadness or anger are all very normal during stressful situations, change or significant life events.

It’s no secret that change is hard. Going through so many changes in a short period of time can be a lot to take in. However, the sooner you accept and embrace your feelings, the sooner you can move past them.

Focus On The Facts:

Emotions are very powerful and can often get the best of us – that is if we let them. 

We all have three states of mind. An emotional mind, a rational mind, and a wise mind.

Having an emotional mind is common during stressful situations. But if we aren’t careful, that mindset can quickly escalate anxieties.

Thinking rationally is all about focusing on the facts and staying clear of black and white thinking.

Spending Time Around Positive People:

The people we spend our time with have a massive impact on the way we think and feel. Both positive and negative behaviors are contagious. Chances are if you spend the majority of your time around positive people, their positivity will rub off on you.

Focus On Self-Care:

When life gets busy, we can often put ourselves last. No matter how difficult things may be right now, it’s so important to prioritize self-care. 

These self-care activities don’t need to be extravagant or break the bank. You can take a nap, read a book, draw, etc.

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Saying No Without Feeling Guilty

Do you feel like you have to say yes to everything?

Is your body and brain telling you that they need a break?

Are you ready to start putting yourself first? 

If so, you’re in the right place! Keep on reading to learn how to say no without feeling guilty. 

The next time someone comes to you with a request, instead of immediately saying yes or no, hit the pause button and take some time to think. You can thank them for the offer and let them know you will think about it and get back to them soon. If you’re not sure what to do next, here are a few questions you can ask yourself:

1) Do you have time to complete the project?

2) Is this project something you want to do?

3) Will this project help you in the present or future?

Now, don’t feel pressured to answer these questions right away. Take all the time you need and most importantly be honest with yourself.  If you’ve decided you’d like to pass on the opportunity, here are a couple of scripts you can use to let them know.

“Thank you so much for the opportunity, but I don’t think I’m the best person for this project.”

” I wish I could help, but I simply don’t have the time right now. Wishing you the best of luck.”

“Thank you for thinking of me; however, I am not comfortable doing that.”

Remember, time is the one thing we never get back. You deserve to spend your days doing what makes you happy and proud!  Learn More