mental health

Are past mistakes and regrets holding you back? It’s time to make peace with your former self and embrace a more fulfilling future. Here are eight steps to help you heal and move forward with confidence.

Practice Empathy

Start by understanding your younger self. Recognize that your circumstances and limited life experience shaped your past actions. Treat yourself with compassion instead of judgment.

Embrace Your Humanity

No one is perfect. Accept that your flaws and mistakes are part of being human. Embracing your imperfections allows you to release shame and guilt from the past.

Forgive Yourself

Forgiving your past self is essential for healing. You did the best you could at the time with the knowledge and tools you had. Let go of regret and give yourself permission to move forward.

Accept the Past

You can’t change what’s already happened, but you can choose to accept it. Stop living in regret and start focusing on creating a better future for yourself.

Take Ownership

Acknowledge the impact of your past actions and take responsibility. Owning your mistakes shows maturity and helps you grow, making it easier to move past guilt.

Make Amends

While you can’t go back in time, you can still make things right by taking positive actions today. Seek opportunities to make amends and rebuild relationships.

Be Your Best Self

Choose to be the person you aspire to be. Set intentions for your personal growth and align your actions with your values. Your future self will thank you.

Live Your Best Life

Let go of past baggage and focus on living a life full of purpose, joy, and fulfillment. Define what your “best life” looks like and take steps toward it every day.

Move Forward with Confidence

Making peace with your past self is the key to living a more meaningful life. By embracing empathy, forgiveness, and personal growth, you can let go of past wounds and create a brighter, more fulfilling future.

By Nooshi Ghasedi, MA, NCC

Most of us spend time on social media—to relax, catch up with friends, or take a quick break from real life. But sometimes, instead of feeling more connected or uplifted, we log off feeling more anxious or discouraged.

Two common patterns many people experience are doomscrolling and comparison spirals.

Let’s break down what’s happening, and how to regain a sense of balance.

Doomscrolling: When the Scroll Becomes a Spiral

Have you ever opened an app just to check one quick thing, and 20 minutes later you’re reading one heartbreaking news story after another? That’s doomscrolling: the tendency to compulsively scroll through upsetting or negative content, even when it’s making us feel worse. Doomscrolling often happens late at night or during times of uncertainty. We think we’re “staying informed” or welcoming a distraction from a stressful day, but what we’re really doing is playing into our brain’s “threat detection system” and flooding it with information it doesn’t have time to process or recover from.

Too much of this can leave you feeling:

• Overwhelmed or helpless
• Anxious and restless
• Emotionally numb or disconnected
• Exhausted, even without doing anything “active”

While it would be unrealistic to encourage you to avoid all news or social media, it is possible to be more intentional with what, when, and how much we consume. The Comparison Trap: Everyone’s Best Moments, None of the Context While doomscrolling often focuses on the negative, social comparison is its sneakier cousin. On platforms full of filtered smiles, curated travel photos, career wins, and romantic gestures, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking “Why doesn’t my life look like that?”

You might notice thoughts like:

• They’re doing so much more than I am.”
• “I’ll never look that good / be that happy / have that kind of relationship.”
• “I’m falling behind.”

The problem? You’re comparing your real, unfiltered life to someone else’s highlight reel. You don’t see their stress, struggles, or insecurities—just the best 1% of what they choose to share. Social comparison can quietly erode your mental health by:

• Fueling self-doubt and low self-esteem
• Increasing anxiety or depressive thoughts
• Distracting you from your own goals and values
• Creating pressure to “perform” or present a perfect life online

What You Can Do to Protect Your Mental Space

Social media isn’t all bad—it can be fun, creative, and even healing when used mindfully. Here are a few ideas to help create healthier habits:

Be aware of your patterns. Start noticing when you tend to scroll (late at night? when you’re stressed?) and how you feel afterward. That awareness is powerful. 

Curate your feed. Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger comparison or negativity. 

Seek out pages that educate, encourage, or bring genuine joy.

Set boundaries. Try screen time limits, log-off hours, or “no scroll” zones like during meals or right before bed.

Reframe your self-talk. When you catch yourself in comparison, gently redirect:

“This is one moment from their life. I don’t know the full story.” “I’m allowed to grow at my own pace.”

Take intentional breaks. Step away for a weekend or even just a day. See how you feel. 

Often, even a little distance can help reset your relationship with your feed.

Final Thoughts

If social media has started to feel more draining than enjoyable, that’s worth paying attention to. You’re not overreacting, and you’re definitely not alone. Many of us are navigating an online world that wasn’t designed with mental wellness in mind. You can take back control—not by quitting cold turkey, but by being more intentional, compassionate, and curious about how online spaces are shaping your thoughts and feelings.

By Christy Maeder, LCSW

Although May was recognized as Mental Health Month by Mental Health America, an initiative started in 1949 to promote mental wellness across the United States, we can all take steps to make every month a time to support our mental health.  This year’s theme,“Turn Awareness into Action,” encourages people to go beyond recognition and take real steps to support mental health.  

Steps you can take any month to care for your mental health include participating in free mental health screenings, practicing daily wellness habits, and becoming involved in efforts to advocate for better mental health policies.

Advocating for mental health policy change can happen at multiple levels—local, state, and national. MHA offers tools to help individuals take action, including action alerts, policy briefings, and advocacy toolkits. 

Supporters are encouraged to reach out to elected officials, attend public meetings, and share personal stories to drive change. Key advocacy goals include increasing funding for services, expanding insurance coverage, integrating mental health into primary care, and addressing the mental health workforce shortage.

These efforts foster open dialogue, reduce stigma, and build supportive environments where mental well-being is prioritized and protected.

In Oregon, there are several impactful ways to get involved in mental health advocacy.. Organizations like the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Oregon and the Mental Health & Addiction Association of Oregon (MHAAO) offer various opportunities for individuals to contribute to mental health initiatives.

NAMI Oregon provides advocacy training programs such as NAMI Smarts for Advocacy, which equips participants with the skills to effectively communicate with policymakers and advocate for mental health policies. They also organize events like NAMIWalks Northwest, a community walk that raises awareness and funds for mental health programs. Volunteering opportunities are available through their volunteer program, allowing individuals to support various initiatives across the state.

MHAAO focuses on peer-led support and recovery services. They host Peerpocalypse, an annual conference dedicated to peer support and wellness, providing a platform for sharing experiences and strategies for recovery. MHAAO also collaborates with local agencies in programs like the Provider-Police Joint Connection Program, which connects individuals experiencing homelessness and addiction with immediate support services. Engaging with MHAAO’s initiatives offers a direct way to support community-based mental health efforts.

For those interested in broader advocacy, Mental Health America offers resources to help individuals become mental health advocates. Their advocacy page provides information on current policy issues and ways to get involved at the national level. By participating in these programs and initiatives, individuals in Oregon can play a vital role in promoting mental health awareness and supporting those affected by mental health conditions.

By: Claire Butcher, CSWA

May 10th marked National ‘Clean Your Room Day’, a lighthearted but important reminder of how our environment affects our mental health. The idea is simple: asking us to refresh our living space, going beyond surface-level tidying. Cleaning is often taught to us as a monotonous chore to check off rather than a chance to reset our environment and benefit our physical and mental well-being. 

One way to help reframe how we view cleaning is to change our perspective from it being an obligatory task on a checklist to a form of self-care. For example, instead of saying “I need to clean” or “I’m so lazy”, reframe those thoughts to something more caring – “I deserve to have a clean space”, “I deserve to feel calm in my home”. 

Along with reframing how we view cleaning as a whole, building executive function skills can help assist us when it’s hard to start bigger, more overwhelming tasks such as cleaning a messy room. Here are some tips: 

• Use Timers – Creating a false sense of urgency can help us focus without feeling the pressure to complete the entire project all in one sitting (10 minutes on, 5 minute break).
• Tiny Steps – Break projects down into tiny steps. The smaller the better! It’s easier for me to start picking up all the trash in the room than to think about cleaning the entire space in one sitting. Goblin Tools is a great resource to help identify more realistic steps. 
• Momentum Building – It can be easier to begin tasks when we’re already engaging our mind and body. Try going for a walk, doing something fun, or running an errand before beginning to clean.
• Reward Yourself – Plan fun activities or structure to your day to motivate yourself to complete tasks. 
• Accountability – Loop in a friend or family member to help increase your sense of responsibility. You can even pair goals together to motivate one another. 
• Habit Stack – Turn on a comfort show or upbeat music (or another thing you already regularly do) while you clean to help the process go by more smoothly. 
• Shift Your Focus – The Zeigarnik effect is a psychological phenomenon that helps us remember incomplete or interrupted tasks more so than completed ones. We can capitalize on this by shifting our focus between two tasks (either prompted by timers or boredom) – such as switching between picking up trash to folding clothes, keeping the momentum going if we feel like we’re slowing down. 

Cleaning is not innate, it is often taught to us as an obligatory task, or even punishment, rather than a form of caring for ourselves. Tracking our habits by using an app (‘Finch’ is one of my favorites) can help us tackle small tasks each day to avoid ‘doom piles’ of laundry or big cleaning projects building up in the future.

Overall, this boils down to grace. We cannot start a sustainable habit through shame or self-hatred. Much like how ‘panic cleaning’ before guests arrive doesn’t help us maintain cleaning habits in the future. 

Therapist KC Davis beautifully describes how we can take the shame away from the concept of clutter and cleaning. Be kind to yourself, and know that it’s a process. 

References 

• Executive Function – Psychology Today 
• Goblin Tools – AI tool
• Zeigarnik Effect – Psychology Today 
• Finch Habit Tracking App
• How to Do Laundry When You’re Depressed – KC Davis

It’s easy to feel overwhelmed. That’s why taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity.

Practicing self-care helps you stay grounded, present, and mentally strong. When you nurture your own well-being, you’re better equipped to support the people around you. If you’ve been putting yourself last, here are nine simple, powerful ways to start being good to yourself—today.

Focus on Today

Let go of the past and stop worrying about tomorrow. You can’t change yesterday, and the future will unfold in its own time. Focus on what you can do right now. Staying present helps reduce anxiety and brings clarity to your day.

Spend Time in Nature

Step outside. Whether it’s a walk in the park, a stroll by the water, or sitting under a tree, nature has a calming effect. Pause and notice the flowers, the breeze, the colors, the scents. It’s a simple way to reconnect with peace.

Do Something Creative

Engage in a hobby that makes you lose track of time. Paint, write, play music, garden, or build something with your hands. Doing what you love without pressure or deadlines is a powerful form of self-care.

Move Your Body

Exercise is one of the best mood boosters. Whether it’s yoga, walking, dancing, or a workout at the gym, find a way to move that you enjoy. It helps release tension and boosts feel-good hormones.

Eat Mindfully

Nourish yourself with healthy food and stay hydrated. But don’t just eat—savor each bite. Notice the flavors, textures, and smells. Eating mindfully helps you feel more satisfied and connected to your body.

Feed Your Mind Wisely

Be careful what you consume—not just in food, but media too. Limit exposure to distressing news and choose uplifting, educational, or inspiring content. A healthy mind starts with healthy input.

Practice Gratitude

Take a moment each day to list a few things you’re thankful for. Gratitude shifts your mindset, improves your mood, and helps you focus on the good, even when life feels heavy.

Help Someone Else

A simple act of kindness can change your entire outlook. Smile at someone, hold the door, or help a neighbor. Helping others doesn’t just lift them up—it lifts you, too.

Create a Calming Bedtime Routine

Good sleep is vital. Wind down at night with a relaxing routine—maybe a warm bath, reading a book, or doing gentle stretches. Quality sleep helps your brain and body recharge so you can face a new day with energy.

Final Thoughts

You don’t need expensive retreats or luxury products to take care of yourself. These nine practices are simple, free, and powerful ways to show yourself love and kindness. Start with just one today—and keep going.

We all have bad habits, from biting nails to checking our phones too often. Breaking them isn’t about sheer willpower; it’s about replacing them with healthier behaviors. Let’s explore how to rewire your brain and break free from those old patterns.

Key Steps to Breaking a Bad Habit

1. Know Your Triggers: Habits start with triggers—whether it’s stress, boredom, or a specific environment. Identify what sets off your behavior, and it becomes easier to intervene before it takes hold. For example, if you bite your nails while watching TV, recognize the boredom or stress that triggers it.

2. Plan a Substitute Behavior: Instead of stopping a habit cold turkey, replace it with something healthier. If you drink too much wine after work, try a mocktail instead. Having a planned substitute behavior reduces the chances of falling back into the old habit.

3. Track Your Emotional State: Bad habits often thrive on emotional vulnerability. Check in with yourself regularly to gauge your emotional state. Are you stressed or anxious? If you can catch yourself early, you’re more likely to avoid the habit.

4. Address the Underlying Problems: Bad habits often mask deeper issues like anxiety or stress. If you deal with the root cause—whether through therapy, exercise, or relaxation techniques—your habits are more likely to fade over time.

5. Expect Setbacks: Breaking a habit isn’t linear. Don’t be discouraged by slip-ups. Keep going, and be kind to yourself during the process.

6. Have Support: Accountability is crucial. Find someone who can check in with you, offer encouragement, and remind you of your progress when you slip.
   

Rewiring Your Brain

Breaking a bad habit is all about rewiring your brain. By recognizing triggers, planning replacements, and addressing emotional issues, you can create new, healthier habits that stick. It’s not about willpower; it’s about consistency and self-compassion. 

By: Mindy Laroco

When someone has hurt us, we often think about how we would like an apology from them. But what exactly is an apology? Just like “love” or “forgiveness,” the word apology can have many different definitions based on who you ask. 

While some may feel that the words “I’m sorry” are sufficient for them to move on from conflict or misunderstandings with others, others may feel that those words need to be accompanied by action. In relationships, it can be very helpful to know how you and others like to give/receive apologies in order to grow and move through conflict. 

Consider these reflection questions to help you navigate your anatomy of an apology looks like: 

• Think about times when you have had to apologize to someone. What did you say? Was naming changes that you could make in the future something you included? 
• How do you like to receive apologies? Is hearing “I’m sorry” all that you need to hear to move on? Would you like to hear how their behavior may be changed in the future from the person apologizing to you? 
• How important is accountability to you when it comes to either giving or receiving an apology? 

You can also take this quiz to help you understand what your apology language is and share it with loved ones to learn more about theirs!

By: Collin King

We polled Vista’s therapists and asked…

• What books do you most often recommend to clients to support the health of their relationships? 
• What books have been most helpful in your own relationships?

Here are our top answers!

Polysecure by Jessicca Fern 

A great read for monogamous and consensually non-monogamous relationships alike! Focuses on attachment styles and provides tools for navigating attachment needs, boundaries, and trust in diverse relationship structures.

Hold Me Tight by Sue Johnson

From the developer of Emotion-Focused Therapy, Johnson provides practical strategies to deepen bonds, heal past hurts, and strengthen intimacy.

Rebuilding Trust by Morgan Johnson

Provides a compassionate guide to repairing broken trust in relationships, offering step-by-step strategies to heal, rebuild, and foster lasting connection.

Eight Lessons for a Happier Marriage by William and Carleen Glasser

Grounded in Choice Theory, this book presents simple yet powerful lessons that help couples improve communication, resolve conflicts, and foster deeper understanding.

Getting the Love you Want by Harville Hendrix

From the creators of Imago Relationship Therapy, this book helps partners understand each other’s emotional needs and heal past wounds through practical exercises and deep insights.

Nonviolent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg

Good for personal and business relationships alike, Rosenberg provides a powerful framework for fostering empathy, understanding, and compassion in conversations.

The High Conflict Couple by Alan E. Fruzzetti

Based on the principles of Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT), this guide helps partners build healthier communication and create more peaceful relationships, even in the most challenging situations.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work by John Gottman

A science-backed guide that offers practical, actionable strategies to strengthen and nurture relationships, based on decades of research. A classic in the field of couples work!

Working on relationships takes effort and consistency–just like learning a language, getting in shape, going to therapy, or anything worthwhile. While there’s probably no need to read all eight books, we hope that the tips and wisdom in any one of them will help you along your way.