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Setting Healthy Boundaries

Jaclyn Baker
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Setting healthy boundaries for yourself is an important part of self-care. 

Those personal boundaries allow you to be open about your limits and clearly define what you’re comfortable with. 

Write Your Boundaries Down

When a situation makes you feel uncomfortable, you can write it out to better understand why. 

Reflect on the emotions you felt at the time and be honest about what could have triggered them. 

Writing your thoughts down on paper can give you a healthy outlet to vent and organize your thoughts. 

Talk To A Loved One

It can help to reach out to a friend, family member or peer you trust when thinking about your boundaries. 

Talking your feelings through with someone who respects and values you is a great start. You can communicate what boundaries you want to set and let them know where you are coming from. 

It can also help to hear the boundaries they have set for themselves and build on the connection you share with them.

Build On Your Boundaries

You can set your boundaries in stages. In time, you can compile a list of your needs and think about what is beneficial for your mental health. 

Over time, you can build on your boundaries by thinking about your past or present experiences. 

“Boundaries are, in simple terms, the recognition of personal space.” – Asa Don Brown

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Integrating Relaxation Into Your Life

Jaclyn Baker
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Life is all about balance. Even on busy days, it’s so important to make rest a priority.

After all, rest can help you recharge your batteries, give you more energy and let your mind relax. 

When you hear the word rest, you may associate it with sleeping. 

But rest is so much more than that.

Here are three ways you can incorporate rest into your ongoing routine. 

Take A Personal Day

If you feel like you need a day to yourself, it’s okay to take one. Spending a weekend or even a weekday to step back and focus on yourself may be exactly what you need to get yourself back on track.

Blocking off some time for you can help you connect with your inner thoughts and truly unwind. 

Reflect Through Writing

Writing or doodling is a healthy practice you can utilize anytime or anywhere. 

Getting your thoughts, feelings, and experiences out on paper can help you stay in tune with yourself.  When it comes to writing, there are no rules. You can write about anything that comes to mind. 

If you’re stuck, there are several online tools that deliver fill-in-the-blank prompts.

A few examples include…

  • Today I am grateful for _______.
  • My friend ______ made me smile.
  • Tomorrow I am excited to______.

Limit Any “Noise”

Whether we realize it or not, our phones can be very distracting. Concentrating on your book or enjoying your meal isn’t always easy to do with a phone buzzing in the background. 

Putting your phone on silent or placing it in a different room during your rest time can help you establish a truly restful environment. 

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National Coming Out Day

Jaclyn Baker

Coming out is a process that can look different for everyone in the LGBTQ+ community, whether it be a gradual process or a sudden realization. 

It comes from exploring your identity and accepting yourself for who you are. 

For some, it can be challenging to navigate through these emotions. It’s not uncommon to have questions or to feel societal pressure from peers, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone. 

That’s why National Coming Out Day on October 11th is meant to be celebrated. This day was first founded in 1988 by Richard Eichberg and Jean O’Leary, who both fought for the rights of the community. 

National Coming Out Day marks exactly one year after the March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. It recognizes the brave people who are free to be themselves and acknowledges those who may not have a safe space to come out yet.

It’s a day to celebrate the courage it takes to live authentically in any way you choose, while still reflecting on those in the LGBTQ+ community who may not be in an environment where they can come out. 

If you or someone you know is needing to support to come out, there are ways to reach out: 

  • Thank them for having the courage and vulnerability to share with you.
  • Respect their wishes, whether they want to let others know or trust that you can keep it to yourself for now. 
  • Carry on with your relationship as usual and reassure them nothing has changed. 
  • Be prepared to offer them a shoulder to lean on. 

Allies or those in the LGBTQ+ community can all come together to learn more about visibility and highlight self-acceptance. To find out more information, check out the resources below. 

Coming Out Support | LGBT Foundation

10 Problems LGBTQ+ People Face When Coming Out

National Coming Out Day: Everything You Need To Know

20 Things to Know Before You Come Out and How to Go About It

The History of National Coming Out Day Contains Both Pride and Pain

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Indigenous Peoples Day

Jaclyn Baker

On October 10th, we can recognize Indigenous Peoples’ Day to honor their history and culture. 

This day was first known as Columbus Day, but in 1992, it became Indigenous Peoples’ Day as a sign of protest. The idea was first introduced in 1977 when the United Nations held a conference to address the discrimination against Native Americans, and it has shaped the day into what we know it to be now. 

Many remember the past 500 years of colonization that have led to the pain and trauma of Indigenous peoples’. 

According to Van Heuvelen from the Cheyenne River Sioux Tribe, “It can be a day of reflection of our history in the United States, the role Native people have played in it, the impacts that history has had on Native people and communities, and also a day to gain some understanding of the diversity of Indigenous peoples.” 

As a community, we can take the time to read Indigenous literature, attend events, and watch relevant movies. Check out the resources below for more. 

What Is Indigenous Peoples’ Day?

Ideas to Honor Indigenous Peoples Day 2022

Rethinking How We Celebrate American History—Indigenous Peoples’ Day

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National Plus Size Appreciation Day

Jaclyn Baker
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October 6th is National Plus Size Appreciation Day, which was created in 2017 to celebrate body types in all shapes and sizes. It’s also a time to open the conversation about how body image can affect self-esteem. 

What is considered plus size?  In the clothing industry, size 18 and up is considered to be plus size. But in the modeling industry, sizes 6-16 are considered plus size. So in the images we see everywhere in the media, the people modeling the clothes do not reflect the bodies of the people that will be wearing the clothes.  This perpectuates unhealthy and unrealistic expectations about how we should look.

The pressure to be skinny is often cloaked in the message of the need to be healthy.  While there is evidence that weight can impact your health, it’s not the whole story. Everyone can work on engaging in healthy behaviors, which can lead to feeling better about themselves at any size.  This may be eating well, exercising, interacting with friends, not smoking, limiting alcohol intake, regularly seeing your health practitioner, and meditating.  Everyone has a unique body and a unique life that got their body to where it is today.  Accepting others, accepting ourselves, and valuing everyone’s process, can lead us toward connection and away from judgment

Our bodies can be appreciated for all that they can do for us and not just for how we look. Everyone can feel confident in their body and be proud of what they can achieve with the body that they have. 

There are many role models that are leading the charge in body positivity. 

We can look up to powerful women in the media who advocate for self-love, including Lizzo, Demi Lovato, Serena Williams, and Mindy Kaling. They all share the same message: For everyone to love their authentic selves and create a positive relationship with their bodies. 

Let’s all remind ourselves and those around us that we are all valuable. Follow the links below to learn more. 

What Is Body Positivity?

The Path To Self-Acceptance 

Why Body Positivity Matters

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International Day of Non-Violence

Jaclyn Baker
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By: Betsy Pownall, LPC

On October 2nd, we can recognize the International Day of Non-Violence. This day was established in 2007 by the General Assembly to spread the message of non-violence and promote a culture of peace, tolerance, and understanding. 

The basis of non-violence is to achieve social and political change without causing physical harm or violence. Throughout the years, our society has adopted this way of protesting to fight for social justice worldwide.

Violence can affect millions of lives and impact communities all over the world. According to the CDC, there are over 1.4 million people treated for assault in emergency rooms, and nearly 25,000 lives are lost to homicide. It’s important to note that violence is the leading cause of death, especially for people ages 15 to 34. 

Yet there are social causes of violence that are also a factor, including systemic racism, bias, and discrimination, that can be a driving force or violence – making violence a greater risk for people of color.

When we take the time to educate ourselves about the violence in our communities, we can develop plans to reduce violence. Many organizations strive to put an end to violence and transform social norms. 

Together we can work to advocate for a safer community for our family, friends, and peers. For more resources, check out the links below.

International Day of Non-Violence

Futures Without Violence

National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence 

National Family Justice Center Alliance

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Domestic Violence Awareness Month

Jaclyn Baker
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By: Betsy Pownall, LPC

Domestic Violence Awareness Month (DVAM) was launched nationwide in October 1987 as a way to connect and unite individuals and organizations working on domestic violence issues while raising awareness for those issues. Over the past 30+ years, much progress has been made in supporting domestic violence victims and survivors, holding abusers accountable and creating and updating legislation to further those goals.

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Tips on Talking to Loved Ones in a DV Relationship

Jaclyn Baker
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By: Betsy Pownall, LPC

It is difficult to know what to say when someone shares that they are in an abusive relationship.

Whether it be a friend, family member, or client, there is this moment of pause~the thought of, “How I respond right now will really matter.’

Here are some tips on what to and not do to/say when someone discloses this vulnerable fact of their lives.

What to say:

  1. “I’m sorry this has happened (or is happening) to you.”

Acknowledge you have heard what has been said, that you heard it and are listening. Acknowledge the courage it takes to disclose abuse and the strength it takes to survive. This is your opportunity to empathize.

  1. “No one deserves to be abused.”

This is a universal statement and an opportunity to connect with the survivor.

  1. “It’s not your fault.”

Don’t minimize the violence or blame the victim. The batterer is accountable and responsible for his/her choices and behaviors.

  1. “You are not alone.”

Violence in relationships is a widespread social problem, yet the victim often feels very alone. By generalizing, we can help the survivor understand that the abuse is not about who they are or what they did but about their partner’s attempt to maintain power and control.

  1. “There is help.”

Empower the survivor by offering information choices, safe space and support.

What not to say/do:

  1. Give advice.
  2. Change the subject.
  3. Ask trivial questions.
  4. Intellectualize the problem.
  5. Become emotional.
  6. Make decisions for them.
  7. Be evasive or elusive.
  8. Handle everything yourself.
  9. Ask ‘why’ questions.
  10. Pity them.
  11. Indulge in silly witticisms.
  12. Become insensitive or cold.
  13. Cut communication.
  14. Be judgmental or rejecting.
  • Don’t blame. The survivor is not at fault for the violence. It is never okay for one person to use force against another. Avoid questions that may sound blaming, such as “why don’t you just leave?”
  • Don’t participate in the denial. Violence does not change on its own; it often escalates. It will not simply ‘get better’.
  • Keep in mind: Battering is against the law.
  • Don’t ignore the danger. Is there a gun in the house? Are there children in the home?
  • Don’t focus on leaving if this does not seem to be a safe option. Help the survivor find ways to be safe.
  • Encourage developing a safety plan.
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Domestic Violence and Firearms

Jaclyn Baker

By: Betsy Pownall, LPC

Domestic violence is the willful intimidation, physical assault, sexual assault, and/or other abusive behavior; a systematic pattern of power and control perpetrated by one intimate partner against the other. It includes physical violence, emotional violence, sexual violence, and economic and emotional/psychological abuse.

All information below is from the  National Coalition Against Domestic Violence: 

Did you know? 

  • More than 10 million adults experience domestic violence annually.
  • 1 in 4 women and 1 in 10 men experience sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking by an intimate partner during their lifetime.
  • 23.2% of women and 13.9% of men experienced severe physical violence by an intimate partner during their lifetime.
  • Abusers’ access to firearms increases the risk of intimate partner death at least five-fold. 

Firearms as tools of terror:

  • Firearms are used to control, terrorize, and intimidate victims and survivors of domestic violence; most intimate partner homicides are committed with firearms.
  • An abuser’s access to a firearm increases the risk of death by 1,000%.
  • Women in the United States are 11x more likely to be murdered with a gun than in other high-income nations.
  • Possession of a firearm does not make a woman safer: an abused woman’s purchase of a firearm increases the risk of intimate partner violence by 50% and doubles the risk of firearm homicide by an abusive partner.

Domestic Violence in Oregon: 

  • 39.8% of Oregon women and 36.2% of Oregon men experience intimate partner violence and/or intimate partner stalking in their lifetimes.
  • On a single day in 2020, 59% of Oregon’s domestic violence programs reported serving 1,123 adult and child victims of domestic violence. In 24 hours, 300 hotline calls were received, averaging 13 contacts per hour. Victims made 118 requests for services that were unmet due to a lack of resources.
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National Mammography Day

Jaclyn Baker
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By: Tanya Kramer, LPC.

This day is celebrated on the third Friday in October every year, so this year it is celebrated on October 21st, 2022.  This day was first proclaimed by President Clinton in 1993.

On this day, along with throughout the month, women are encouraged to make a mammography appointment.

The American Cancer Society reported that early detection of breast cancer while the cancer is still localized results in a 5-year relative survival rate of 99%.

So along with mammograms, women should also perform a once-a-month breast self-exam.  Johns Hopkins Medical Center states, “Forty percent of diagnosed breast cancers are detected by women who feel a lump, so establishing a regular breast self-exam is very important”.

Women can use the National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc website to learn how to do a self-exam and what to expect at a mammography appointment:  

Breast cancer affects 1 in 8 women in the United States. Breast cancer can also affect men, but at much lower numbers.

In 2022, an estimated 287,500 new cases of invasive breast cancer will be diagnosed in women in the US.  An estimated 2,710 men will also be diagnosed with breast cancer.

There are over 3.8 million breast cancer survivors in the United States, which is something to celebrate.  In the US, the trends show a gradual reduction in female breast cancer incidence among women aged 50 and older since 1990.

Some possible reasons for this decrease include a decline in prescriptive hormone replacement therapy after menopause, better screening and early detection, increased awareness, and continually improving treatment options.

It is important to recognize that there are disparities in care for breast cancer in the US (taken from the National Breast Cancer Foundation, Inc. website).  

  • Breast cancer death rates are 40% higher among black women than white women
  • Breast cancer is the leading cause of cancer deaths for Latin women living in the US (2nd leading cause of cancer death in women in the US)
  • 47% of women put off or postponed preventive services due to costs
  • Poverty, less education, and lack of health insurance are associated with lower breast cancer survival rates
  • 49% of uninsured women delayed or went without care due to cost
  • 30% of uninsured women were up to date with breast cancer screening in 2018, compared to 64% of insured women

Breast Cancer affects women globally, and it is the most common cancer among women worldwide.  The World Health Organization acknowledges that breast cancer claims the lives of hundreds of thousands of women each year, affecting countries at all levels of modernization.  So having designated events to get the word out about the importance of getting a mammogram can save lives.  October 4-6, 2022, is also called “Pink Week” to bring awareness to breast cancer.  You can learn more about this week and other events throughout the month of October by checking out the Breast Cancer Resource Center website:

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International Stuttering Awareness Day (ISAD)

Jaclyn Baker
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By: Tanya Kramer, LPC.

This year’s theme is “Let’s free our voices, speak up, and show our stutter.”

Did you know that it is estimated that 1% of the world’s population stutters?  That means that there are about 3 million people in the United States who stutter.  Some famous people you might recognize who stutter include Winston Churchill, President Joe Biden, James Earl Jones, John Stossel, Marilyn Monroe, Emily Blunt, Hugh Grant, Steve Harvey, Samuel L. Jackson, Nicole Kidman, Rosie Perez, Julia Roberts, Bruce Willis, Bo Jackson, John Lee Hooker, Carly Simon, Elvis Presley….just to name a few.  Stuttering seems to be 3-4 times more common in men than women.

ISAD was started in 1998 by Michael Sugarman from Oakland, California. The intention of this day is to create connections between Speech Language Pathologists (SLP) and consumers as they learn from each other, give support, and educate one another along with the general public on the impact that stuttering has on individuals’ lives. Stuttering is defined as a difference in speech pattern involving disruptions or disfluencies in a person’s speech. An individual who stutters knows exactly what they want to say, but they have trouble producing the normal flow of speech. People who stutter might experience repetitions (D-d-d-dog), prolongations (Mmmmmmmmmilk), blocks (an absence of sound), or they can experience some combination of these. The severity of stuttering can vary widely among people.   

There is no identified “cause” of stuttering. But most researchers now consider stuttering to involve differences in brain activity that interfere with the production of speech, meaning it is a neurological and physiological condition. However, some people can experience an increase of symptoms when triggered by an emotional or situational factor.

There is not one specific cure for stuttering. However, many people benefit from various forms of speech therapy and access resources available through the National Stuttering Association. 

Controlling stuttering is a long-term journey which begins with acceptance of one’s stuttering. If you or someone you know stutters and wants support, you start by exploring The Stuttering Foundation.

I personally have benefited from working with a peer who stutters. I witnessed how he gracefully explained what stuttering is to teens in the program we worked at, and how he normalized that we all have things that are challenging for us. I am thankful to him for teaching me a deeper level of humility through vulnerability…and I will never forget that winter expedition!

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Shape Up From The Inside Out

Jaclyn Baker
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By: Jen Champion

Many of us feel a sense of body dysphoria at some point in our lives.

We judge our human vessel by what it looks like outside and often disregard the brilliant abundance of our human nature inside. We can get stuck under a blanket of doubt, sadness, and stagnation. 

We have negative words we tell ourselves, and some negativity is given to us by others, contributing to our despair. Most media resources show only bodies that are not accurately depicting the majority of people. 

The average American woman weighs between 148-204 pounds. The average adult American male is 195.7 pounds.

There is no time for living in a shadow of self-doubt. The time has come to rise and shine and contribute to your best self and humanity. Let’s radiate our loving light, live our best life regardless of shape and size, and embrace our whole, wonder-filled selves.

Engaging in inspirational offerings fuel our motivation and get us moving and gaining self-care and self-love.

One way to fuel our self-esteem is with music. Most of us will bop and groove, leading to a full-on private performance and exercise! It can help us move and free ourselves from inertia and self-loathing.

Lizzo, a rap artist, enamours audiences with her fuller body and music. Her messages include we should love our bodies for what they have done and can do for us. “Your body is perfectly yours, even if it ain’t perfect to anybody else,” her voiceover began over clips of herself showing off her curves. “If you only knew the complexities your body possesses, you would be so proud of it. 

I’m so proud of you. Making it this far in a society that gives us a head start into self-loathing, hands us a dysmorphic mirror and leaves us desperate to catch up with who we think we should be.”

Yoga is another exercise and healing arts practice that lifts the spirit. Yoga practice combines warm-ups, postures, mindful breathing, and meditation. 

Yoga is inspiring and, when practiced safely, can help us move with joy regardless of shape and size. A yoga practice can help us gain confidence and balance our weight from the inside out. 

Physical participation strengthens and relaxes our bodies. The philosophical and spiritual practices feature moral disciplines called Yamas.  

One that applies here is Ahimsa, non-harming or non-violence in thought, word, and deed. 

Ahimsa is not only our external judgments but also our internal personal harms that hinder our true selves.  

Our media sources depict yoga as something that is not always accurate and can challenge our experiences with Ahimsa. We may physically harm ourselves by pushing our bodies to do more than they can. We may judge others who appear more at ease in their bodies, clothing, features, and shapes compared to others in our group. 

When we can drop into our deeper selves, the judgments cease, and we experience feelings of contentment and connection, and these ways of thinking and being can be carried with us throughout our day.

The benefits of yoga come from the union of many nourishing ingredients, including physical practice and reading yoga’s philosophical and historical wisdom. We can gain mobility, independence, and confidence. When our bodies, minds, and hearts are comfortable and stable, we gain mobility, independence, and trust. We expand and move closer to our innate wholeness and unity with all beings, all shapes, and all sizes.

You will soon find practices for fuller figures on the Vista Wellness Center YouTube channel..

May your practice foster inclusive and positive feelings. 

Vista Wellness Center Yoga Instructors offer small group and private sessions. Classes are in person and online.

 Here are some inspirational resources for your further enjoyment.

 INSPIRATIONAL RESOURCES: 

Vista Wellness Center Videos

Curvy Yoga

 LIZZO

Amber Karnes

Buddha Body

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