Blog

By : Claire Butcher

This article discusses self-harm and suicide. Please see a list of hotlines and resources below if you need to speak to someone. 

Talking about suicide can be scary. It is taught to us as a taboo topic that should be avoided, driven by myths that people may act on their suicidal thoughts if we start the conversation. But the facts remain – over 720,000 people die by suicide per year, reminding us that it’s a vital discussion to have with our loved ones and communities. Today, we’ll review the common warning signs of suicidality, the ‘dos and don’ts’ if a loved one expresses suicidality to you, and some common myths. 

Warning Signs

Before talking about what to do if a loved one shares with you that they’re suicidal, it’s important to learn the different forms of suicidality and what constitutes a mental health emergency. 

Non-Suicidal Self-Injury, or NSSI refers to self-harm (this can take the form of cutting/hitting/burning oneself). Self-harm can happen with or without the intent to end one’s life. People can engage in self-harm to help ground themselves to manage feelings of overwhelm or dissociation, as an outlet to process emotional pain, as a way to ‘feel’ something instead of emotional numbness, or as a way to ‘punish’ themselves when managing severe mental health symptoms. It is important to recognize self-harm as a coping skill, and learn harm-reductive outlets to build longer-lasting and more helpful tools, while fostering healthier relationships with our bodies and emotions. 

Passive Suicidal Ideation refers to any desire to end one’s life, “sleep forever”, or other forms of suicidal thinking that don’t involve a plan or intent to attempt suicide. These thoughts can look like: “I just wish I could disappear”, “I want to go away for a long time” or for “the world to end”. 

Active Suicidal Ideation is when someone wants to end their life and is actively thinking about a plan, taking steps to prepare to end their life (for example, researching methods of how they can attempt suicide, writing letters to loved ones, giving things away), or feeling an urge to act on their suicidal thoughts. 

This article provides more details of what suicidal ideation can look like. In general, here are some common warning signs that someone may be thinking about attempting suicide: 

• Expressing hopelessness or feeling like a burden to others
• Talking about wanting to “disappear” or die
• Withdrawing from social events and regular activities
• Drastic changes in mood or behaviors – people can have a drastic positive shift in their mood when they’re seriously contemplating suicide, as thinking about ending their pain can bring on a “wave of relief”
• Giving away possessions or saying goodbye to others

Debunking Common Myths Surrounding Suicide

• “Don’t talk about suicide, it will make the person act on their thoughts.” → There is no evidence for this. Talking about suicide reduces stigma and can help individuals seek support.
• “Suicide only affects people with mental health conditions.” → Many people with mental illness are not affected by suicidal thoughts, and not all people who die by suicide have mental illness. Life stressors, legal matters, trauma, death, and many other life circumstances are associated with suicidal thoughts and behavior. 
• “People who talk about their suicidality are just seeking attention.” → People who die by suicide often tell others about not wanting to live, making it vital for us to take these signs seriously.
• “Only teenagers are affected by suicidal thoughts.” → The highest risk age groups are women between the ages of 45-64, and men 75 and older. This also does not include the elevated risk for the BIPOC and LGBTQ+ communities.
• “Suicide is not preventable.” → Therapeutic and medication interventions do work. One of the best ways to prevent suicide is to seek help and treatment. 

The Dos & Don’ts for Talking About Suicide

• Don’t react with shock or fear. This can make the individual feel like it’s unsafe to talk about suicide and only adds to the stigma. 
• Don’t judge, do not debate if suicide is right or wrong, or if these feelings are “good or bad”. 
• Don’t sugarcoat. Do not compare their situation to others or minimize their struggle.
• Do meet them where they are – validate their feelings, ask more questions about what’s causing them to think about harming themselves.
• Do be direct. Ask clear questions like “Are you thinking about suicide?” and “ Do you have a plan?”.
• Do connect them with resources and encourage them to seek professional care. This can also take the form of creating a Safety Plan. 
• Do follow up. Keeping in touch with loved ones who are suicidal is vital. 

It is life-saving to keep the conversation around suicide going. Having routine check-ins with loved ones surrounding mental health is one way we can prevent suicide and foster an environment of care and compassion. If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts, please see the resources below. 

Hotlines and Resources

• National Suicide Hotline – Call 988
• The Trevor Project 
• Crisis Text Line – Text HOME to 741741
• Vista Counseling Resources

Positive thinking isn’t about ignoring life’s difficulties or pretending everything is perfect, it’s about developing a mindset that helps you navigate challenges with resilience and hope. By intentionally shaping the way you think, you can create more space for joy, confidence, and growth in your everyday life. Here are four powerful ways to strengthen your positive thinking.

Have Hope That Things Will Work Out

Hope is the foundation of positive thinking. When you believe that better days are ahead, it helps you keep moving forward even when the present feels heavy. Hope fuels perseverance and gives you the energy to keep working toward your goals. Try reminding yourself that setbacks are temporary and that solutions often come when you least expect them.

Look at the Bright Side Every Day

Life is a mix of good and bad, but focusing on what’s good even in small doses can shift your entire outlook. Whether it’s a compliment you received, a small achievement, or a beautiful moment in nature, acknowledging the bright side daily helps train your brain to notice positivity more naturally. Keeping a gratitude journal can make this practice easier and more consistent.

Believe in Yourself to Overcome Challenges

Self-belief is a powerful tool. When you trust your own abilities, you’re more likely to step into challenges instead of avoiding them. This doesn’t mean you’ll always succeed right away, but it does mean you’ll approach obstacles with determination and courage. Start by recognizing your past wins  big or small as proof that you are capable of moving through difficulties.

Accept Negative Emotions and Express Your Feelings

Positive thinking doesn’t mean you have to be cheerful all the time. Suppressing sadness, anger, or fear only makes them grow stronger. Instead, allow yourself to feel these emotions, express them in healthy ways, and then let them go. By accepting your feelings, you make room for healing and create balance an essential part of staying positive in the long run.

Strengthening positive thinking is a practice, not a one-time shift. The more you nurture hope, gratitude, self-belief, and emotional acceptance, the more resilient and optimistic your mindset becomes. Over time, you’ll find it easier to see opportunities instead of obstacles and that’s where real growth begins.

By Emi Gilbert, LCSW

“Habituation” is the phenomenon where we become desensitized to the same repeated stimuli. Right now, take a moment to notice the feeling of your clothes on your body. For the majority of us, we were not attuned to this sensation until we deliberately drew our attention to it. We experience the stimulus of our clothes on our skin all day long, so it becomes undetectable. For any stimulus that the body experiences consistently, our brains deem it unnecessary (and overwhelming) to respond. It’s a nifty trick our brains often do to keep us from being constantly overstimulated. However, this is also what makes staying mindfully present so challenging. If we wake up in the same bed, make the same coffee, take the same route to work, sit in the same office, and go home to the same living space, we become more “habituated” to our own lives. The stimuli we are so used to do not warrant our attention. They fade into the background. 

We can break this “habituation” by drawing our attention to our surroundings with mindful intention. Can you pick up the coffee mug you use everyday and find every little thing you have never noticed about it before? Can you feel your chair underneath your legs? Can you even feel your own breath? These are invaluable mindfulness exercises. And yet, in my experience, the more familiar my surroundings, the more challenging it is to remind myself to practice. 

The most natural moments to engage in mindfulness are when I am having a new experience and therefore receiving new stimuli. We may feel this most starkly when we make grand changes – moving to a new house, starting a new job, or traveling to a new city. We are more acutely aware of how everything feels anew. However, substantial changes are not required to evoke this sense of “newness” and vivacity. We have the opportunity to foster this sense in our everyday lives. If I’m walking down a street I’ve never seen, listening to a song I’ve never heard, or rearranging my bedroom in a new way, I am instantly more awakened to the present.

A personal challenge I have set out for myself this summer is to find opportunities to experience something new. It can be anything from a new route on my walk, a new menu item I have never tried, or a new place to read. This is a practice that does not require any particular landmark to begin, so give yourself permission to participate on any random day and tune into your new experience. The more variety of experiences we have, the wider life gets. The more mindfulness we practice, the deeper our present experience gets.

By: Collin King, LPC and Mindy Laroco, LPC

For many Oregonians, SUMMER (in all caps!) is what we’ve been waiting for.

“This is what I invested in during mid-February!” we might feel. “I’ve got to soak it up!”

But in the glory of all that Vitamin D, it can be easy to over-extend socially, or to feel pressure to make the most of every beautiful day. 

Here are some check-in questions you can explore to help you craft a summer that leaves you both fulfilled and refreshed before the leaves start to turn:

What are your top one or two non-negotiable summer activities that genuinely bring you joy?

How do you typically feel after social gatherings during the summer? If you feel more drained, you may be somewhat introverted, or perhaps the setting isn’t your preference. How can you honor your social battery?

Beyond planned activities, what small, everyday moments of summer bring you peace or a sense of presence? How can you intentionally incorporate more of these moments into your week?

What does genuine rest look like for you in the summer?

Imagining yourself at the start of fall, what would make you feel that you’ve had a truly fulfilling and refreshing season?

“Checking in” doesn’t always mean thinking. Here are some creative ways you might learn to check in with yourself, both for these specific questions and more generally:

Rate your day: How many stars would you give your day out of 5? 

At the end of each day, take some time to reflect on the day and give it a rating. Then, think about what that means to you (everyone’s rating system will look different!). For example, if today was a “3 star day”, what does that mean? What makes it higher than a “2 star day”, but not quite a “4 star day”? 

Don’t be afraid to get creative! 

There are various ways to cater this “rating system” to what you like! If not stars, use grades! (or whatever you would like!) Was your day an A+? B? C-? Why’s that? Make this system work for you so that checking in with yourself becomes a habit. 

Having a “rating system” can be so helpful to continue to check in with yourself. It can be done at the end of the day, at the beginning of the day, or both! This is also a great way to start setting intentions for you day. If today started out at 5 stars, what could you do to keep that momentum? Conversely, if your day started out at 2 stars, what could be done to up that rating? 

Take an inventory of your emotions

Keeping track of how you’re feeling is also an excellent way to check in with yourself. Start at the beginning of your day and write at least 3 feelings words that describe your current state. Then, at the end of the day, do the same thing and compare how your feelings have either changed or not changed from the morning time. (bonus points if you do this mid day as well!) 

This is a great practice to not only keep track of how we are feeling, but to continue to practice being in tune with ourselves and our emotions. If the feelings you logged at the beginning of the day have changed, at what point do you think they changed? Why? If they stayed the same, what do you think helped you maintain that state? The cool thing about these exercises is that after a while. You’ll have a log that you can look back on! You’ll be able to see how you were feeling at certain times, what contributed to those feelings, and understand yourself in different ways. Happy Checking In!