mental health

Talking About Relationship Safety

By Rita Melnikova, M.A. and Collin King, LPC

Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) — sometimes called domestic violence — can happen to anyone. It’s more common than many people realize: about 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men in the U.S. have experienced physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking by a partner at some point in their lives. The effects of IPV can last long after the relationship ends.

IPV isn’t just physical harm. It can include:

  • Emotional or verbal abuse – being insulted, controlled, or made to feel worthless
  • Sexual abuse – being pressured or forced into sex or sexual acts
  • Financial control – being denied access to money or basic resources
  • Threats, intimidation, or isolation – feeling afraid, trapped, or cut off from friends and family

All of these forms of abuse can deeply affect physical and emotional health. People who have experienced IPV may struggle with anxiety, depression, sleep problems, chronic pain, or thoughts of self-harm — sometimes years later.

Why Talking Matters

You don’t have to have everything figured out before bringing it up. A safe, caring conversation with your therapist can be the first step toward understanding what’s happening and exploring your options.

Fear Is a Red Flag

Abuse is about power and control. If you feel fear in your relationship — fear of your partner’s anger, reactions, or what might happen if you say no — that’s a sign something isn’t right.

Common control tactics include:

  • Threats or intimidation
  • Blaming you or minimizing what happened
  • Controlling money, transportation, or access to help
  • Isolating you from friends or family
  • Using children to guilt or manipulate

Seeking Safety and Support

If you’re worried about your safety or someone else’s, help is available. You don’t have to face it alone.

  • If you ever feel in physical danger, call 911; for mental health crises, call 988.
  • You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or thehotline.org.
  • If you’re a client at Vista Counseling, you can also talk with your therapist. We can help connect you to resources and ongoing support.

Remember:

  • Abuse is not your fault.
  • Chronic fear is NOT part of a healthy relationship.
  • Healing is possible — and you don’t have to do it alone.

Resources

Hope and Safety Allianceprovides trauma informed and survivor-centered services for all survivors of domestic and sexual violence.

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Becoming the Author of Your Future Self

You can think of your life as a book in progress – with so many chapters left to be written. While you’re already filled with plenty of experiences, life lessons, and plot twists, there’s even more to come. 

As the author of your own story, you have the power to decide where you can go and how it unfolds from here. Every word you speak and decision you make adds a line to the story of the person you’re becoming. The story of your future self is already forming and waiting for you to bring it to life. 

It’s when you begin to move with purpose, align with possibility, and see yourself as the writer that you’ll be able to create something extraordinary. Follow these tips for more:

Begin With the Vision

With every great story comes a spark of imagination. You can ask yourself: “Who do I want to be a year from now? Or even five years from now?” Picture this version of you vividly – surrounded by the types of relationships, environments, and goals you want to pursue. The clearer this vision is, the more you can take steps to align with it. This simple visualization can turn your dreams into something tangible. 

Connect the Present to the Future

Once your vision feels real, you can start linking it to where you are now and thinking about what small actions can be taken to bridge the gap between today’s “you” and your goals for the future. Write growth and habits into your daily life to start working on this version of your future self slowly over time –  like waking up a little earlier, researching a career that interests you, or setting boundaries.

Rewrite Limiting Narratives 

While you write the next chapters of your life, take note of the challenges that are holding you back. Phrases like “It’s too late to change” or “I’m not confident enough” are internal scripts that can limit you. But there’s still time to edit this inner dialogue and replace it with new sentences that reaffirm just how confident and capable you really are. 

Act as if the Future is Now

Match the energy you envision for your future self by thinking of yourself as that person now. For example, if your future self is calmer under pressure, practices mindfulness often, or is self-assured, you can begin taking these steps now. There’s no better time than the present to start thinking of yourself as the person you want to be. 

Final Thoughts

What you pour into your thoughts, choices, and self-belief shapes who you become in the future. So create the next chapters of your story by moving with purpose and intention. You are both the storyteller and the story – and that’s what makes your journey so impactful.

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What To Do if a Loved One Shares They’re Suicidal

By : Claire Butcher

This article discusses self-harm and suicide. Please see a list of hotlines and resources below if you need to speak to someone. 

Talking about suicide can be scary. It is taught to us as a taboo topic that should be avoided, driven by myths that people may act on their suicidal thoughts if we start the conversation. But the facts remain – over 720,000 people die by suicide per year, reminding us that it’s a vital discussion to have with our loved ones and communities. Today, we’ll review the common warning signs of suicidality, the ‘dos and don’ts’ if a loved one expresses suicidality to you, and some common myths. 

Warning Signs

Before talking about what to do if a loved one shares with you that they’re suicidal, it’s important to learn the different forms of suicidality and what constitutes a mental health emergency. 

Non-Suicidal Self-Injury, or NSSI refers to self-harm (this can take the form of cutting/hitting/burning oneself). Self-harm can happen with or without the intent to end one’s life. People can engage in self-harm to help ground themselves to manage feelings of overwhelm or dissociation, as an outlet to process emotional pain, as a way to ‘feel’ something instead of emotional numbness, or as a way to ‘punish’ themselves when managing severe mental health symptoms. It is important to recognize self-harm as a coping skill, and learn harm-reductive outlets to build longer-lasting and more helpful tools, while fostering healthier relationships with our bodies and emotions. 

Passive Suicidal Ideation refers to any desire to end one’s life, “sleep forever”, or other forms of suicidal thinking that don’t involve a plan or intent to attempt suicide. These thoughts can look like: “I just wish I could disappear”, “I want to go away for a long time” or for “the world to end”. 

Active Suicidal Ideation is when someone wants to end their life and is actively thinking about a plan, taking steps to prepare to end their life (for example, researching methods of how they can attempt suicide, writing letters to loved ones, giving things away), or feeling an urge to act on their suicidal thoughts. 

This article provides more details of what suicidal ideation can look like. In general, here are some common warning signs that someone may be thinking about attempting suicide: 

  • Expressing hopelessness or feeling like a burden to others
  • Talking about wanting to “disappear” or die
  • Withdrawing from social events and regular activities
  • Drastic changes in mood or behaviors – people can have a drastic positive shift in their mood when they’re seriously contemplating suicide, as thinking about ending their pain can bring on a “wave of relief”
  • Giving away possessions or saying goodbye to others

Debunking Common Myths Surrounding Suicide

  • “Don’t talk about suicide, it will make the person act on their thoughts.” → There is no evidence for this. Talking about suicide reduces stigma and can help individuals seek support.
  • “Suicide only affects people with mental health conditions.” → Many people with mental illness are not affected by suicidal thoughts, and not all people who die by suicide have mental illness. Life stressors, legal matters, trauma, death, and many other life circumstances are associated with suicidal thoughts and behavior. 
  • “People who talk about their suicidality are just seeking attention.” → People who die by suicide often tell others about not wanting to live, making it vital for us to take these signs seriously.
  • “Only teenagers are affected by suicidal thoughts.” → The highest risk age groups are women between the ages of 45-64, and men 75 and older. This also does not include the elevated risk for the BIPOC and LGBTQ+ communities.
  • “Suicide is not preventable.” → Therapeutic and medication interventions do work. One of the best ways to prevent suicide is to seek help and treatment

The Dos & Don’ts for Talking About Suicide

  • Don’t react with shock or fear. This can make the individual feel like it’s unsafe to talk about suicide and only adds to the stigma. 
  • Don’t judge, do not debate if suicide is right or wrong, or if these feelings are “good or bad”. 
  • Don’t sugarcoat. Do not compare their situation to others or minimize their struggle.
  • Do meet them where they are – validate their feelings, ask more questions about what’s causing them to think about harming themselves.
  • Do be direct. Ask clear questions like “Are you thinking about suicide?” and “ Do you have a plan?”.
  • Do connect them with resources and encourage them to seek professional care. This can also take the form of creating a Safety Plan
  • Do follow up. Keeping in touch with loved ones who are suicidal is vital. 

It is life-saving to keep the conversation around suicide going. Having routine check-ins with loved ones surrounding mental health is one way we can prevent suicide and foster an environment of care and compassion. If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts, please see the resources below. 

Hotlines and Resources

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Ways to Strengthen Positive Thinking

Positive thinking isn’t about ignoring life’s difficulties or pretending everything is perfect, it’s about developing a mindset that helps you navigate challenges with resilience and hope. By intentionally shaping the way you think, you can create more space for joy, confidence, and growth in your everyday life. Here are four powerful ways to strengthen your positive thinking.

Have Hope That Things Will Work Out

Hope is the foundation of positive thinking. When you believe that better days are ahead, it helps you keep moving forward even when the present feels heavy. Hope fuels perseverance and gives you the energy to keep working toward your goals. Try reminding yourself that setbacks are temporary and that solutions often come when you least expect them.

Look at the Bright Side Every Day

Life is a mix of good and bad, but focusing on what’s good even in small doses can shift your entire outlook. Whether it’s a compliment you received, a small achievement, or a beautiful moment in nature, acknowledging the bright side daily helps train your brain to notice positivity more naturally. Keeping a gratitude journal can make this practice easier and more consistent.

Believe in Yourself to Overcome Challenges

Self-belief is a powerful tool. When you trust your own abilities, you’re more likely to step into challenges instead of avoiding them. This doesn’t mean you’ll always succeed right away, but it does mean you’ll approach obstacles with determination and courage. Start by recognizing your past wins  big or small as proof that you are capable of moving through difficulties.

Accept Negative Emotions and Express Your Feelings

Positive thinking doesn’t mean you have to be cheerful all the time. Suppressing sadness, anger, or fear only makes them grow stronger. Instead, allow yourself to feel these emotions, express them in healthy ways, and then let them go. By accepting your feelings, you make room for healing and create balance an essential part of staying positive in the long run.

Strengthening positive thinking is a practice, not a one-time shift. The more you nurture hope, gratitude, self-belief, and emotional acceptance, the more resilient and optimistic your mindset becomes. Over time, you’ll find it easier to see opportunities instead of obstacles and that’s where real growth begins.



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How Creativity Fuels Resilience

Life can test us, but it’s our resilience that propels us to move forward. At the heart of that resilience, motivation can come from many sources, such as community, hobbies, and creativity. 

Creativity isn’t just limited to those who love the arts – it’s for everyone. When people think of creativity, painting and writing can come to mind, but it’s about more than that. It’s also about finding fresh ways to express ourselves, learn to adapt, and reimagine our lives. 

Tapping into creative practices can provide us with new outlets for healing, resilience, and strength to move forward. 

Use Creative Expression as Release

Dealing with overwhelming feelings? Having a creative space to express them can help us release these heavy emotions and give us time to process them, allowing us to understand ourselves better. The next time we feel intense emotion, we can grab a pen or a brush and express ourselves through creative activities. 

Reframe Your Story Through Creativity

Resilience can thrive on perspective, and if we are positive about ourselves and our story, it becomes even more powerful. That’s where creativity comes in. Through creative projects, such as poetry or journaling, we can reshape our narrative, accept our past, and transform our future. It’s all about turning hardship into growth and possibility. 

Find Joy in Small Acts of Creation

It can be freeing to be creative, even in small ways.  Cooking a colorful meal, rearranging our space, or snapping photos of nature can be simple acts with a big impact. Including these “creative rituals” in our day helps us experience little sparks of joy that can fuel our resilience and enjoyment of everyday life, keeping us going.

See Creativity as a Pathway to Growth

With the lens of creativity, we can look at each new day as a blank canvas and think, “How will I paint this into something new?” It’s a reminder that life, just like art, is formed by trying, making mistakes, and trying again. This way of thinking can breathe new hope and self-discovery into our daily lives. 

Final Thoughts

Creative practices are not meant to erase the challenges we face, but to transform them. By engaging in these practices, we can fuel our resilience, find meaning, and discover how adaptable we truly are. That even in tough times, we can create a masterpiece.

 

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The Guiding Principles of a Purpose-Driven Life

We all search for meaning. Some find it in career, others in family, and some through spiritual or creative pursuits. But no matter where purpose is rooted – it can give our lives meaning, direction, and depth. 

The beauty of purpose is that it isn’t one-size-fits-all. There are still guiding principles that can help us find more meaning in our lives and remind us of what really matters. Here are some ways we can discover meaning and purpose in our daily lives.

Stay Connected to Your “Why”

Our “why” is an inner anchor and the deeper reason behind our goals, choices, and commitments. It’s the push we need to get up in the morning and move forward even when challenges arise. For example, working on a project might feel draining but a motivation for “why” is continuing our passions. The “why” can be a reminder of who we are and what we stand for. 

Embrace Growth and Change

Purpose can be more than one thing and can evolve as we do. Allowing ourselves the flexibility to grow, shift directions, and explore new callings is key. Life can present new experiences and with them can come new callings. We can give ourselves permission to pivot, let go of outdated foals, and embrace new directions.

Align Daily Choices with Your Purpose

Big visions are inspiring but purpose can also come from small, daily choices. It can be as simple as how you choose to spend your mornings or the time you take on committing to the things you love, like writing or reading. We don’t need to constantly overhaul our lives to live with purpose but we can over time, do consistent actions each day that reflect our deepest values. 

Final Thoughts

Living with purpose doesn’t mean everything has to be figured out. Rather, it means we choose to navigate our lives with intention and more direction. Every day is a chance to live with greater meaning, to connect with what truly matters, and to leave behind something lasting.

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Fostering a Sense of “Newness”

By Emi Gilbert, LCSW

“Habituation” is the phenomenon where we become desensitized to the same repeated stimuli. Right now, take a moment to notice the feeling of your clothes on your body. For the majority of us, we were not attuned to this sensation until we deliberately drew our attention to it. We experience the stimulus of our clothes on our skin all day long, so it becomes undetectable. For any stimulus that the body experiences consistently, our brains deem it unnecessary (and overwhelming) to respond. It’s a nifty trick our brains often do to keep us from being constantly overstimulated. However, this is also what makes staying mindfully present so challenging. If we wake up in the same bed, make the same coffee, take the same route to work, sit in the same office, and go home to the same living space, we become more “habituated” to our own lives. The stimuli we are so used to do not warrant our attention. They fade into the background. 

We can break this “habituation” by drawing our attention to our surroundings with mindful intention. Can you pick up the coffee mug you use everyday and find every little thing you have never noticed about it before? Can you feel your chair underneath your legs? Can you even feel your own breath? These are invaluable mindfulness exercises. And yet, in my experience, the more familiar my surroundings, the more challenging it is to remind myself to practice. 

The most natural moments to engage in mindfulness are when I am having a new experience and therefore receiving new stimuli. We may feel this most starkly when we make grand changes – moving to a new house, starting a new job, or traveling to a new city. We are more acutely aware of how everything feels anew. However, substantial changes are not required to evoke this sense of “newness” and vivacity. We have the opportunity to foster this sense in our everyday lives. If I’m walking down a street I’ve never seen, listening to a song I’ve never heard, or rearranging my bedroom in a new way, I am instantly more awakened to the present.

A personal challenge I have set out for myself this summer is to find opportunities to experience something new. It can be anything from a new route on my walk, a new menu item I have never tried, or a new place to read. This is a practice that does not require any particular landmark to begin, so give yourself permission to participate on any random day and tune into your new experience. The more variety of experiences we have, the wider life gets. The more mindfulness we practice, the deeper our present experience gets.

A Midsummer Night’s Check-in

By: Collin King, LPC and Mindy Laroco, LPC

For many Oregonians, SUMMER (in all caps!) is what we’ve been waiting for.

“This is what I invested in during mid-February!” we might feel. “I’ve got to soak it up!”

But in the glory of all that Vitamin D, it can be easy to over-extend socially, or to feel pressure to make the most of every beautiful day. 

Here are some check-in questions you can explore to help you craft a summer that leaves you both fulfilled and refreshed before the leaves start to turn:

What are your top one or two non-negotiable summer activities that genuinely bring you joy?

How do you typically feel after social gatherings during the summer? If you feel more drained, you may be somewhat introverted, or perhaps the setting isn’t your preference. How can you honor your social battery?

Beyond planned activities, what small, everyday moments of summer bring you peace or a sense of presence? How can you intentionally incorporate more of these moments into your week?

What does genuine rest look like for you in the summer?

Imagining yourself at the start of fall, what would make you feel that you’ve had a truly fulfilling and refreshing season?

“Checking in” doesn’t always mean thinking. Here are some creative ways you might learn to check in with yourself, both for these specific questions and more generally:

Rate your day: How many stars would you give your day out of 5? 

At the end of each day, take some time to reflect on the day and give it a rating. Then, think about what that means to you (everyone’s rating system will look different!). For example, if today was a “3 star day”, what does that mean? What makes it higher than a “2 star day”, but not quite a “4 star day”? 

Don’t be afraid to get creative! 

There are various ways to cater this “rating system” to what you like! If not stars, use grades! (or whatever you would like!) Was your day an A+? B? C-? Why’s that? Make this system work for you so that checking in with yourself becomes a habit

Having a “rating system” can be so helpful to continue to check in with yourself. It can be done at the end of the day, at the beginning of the day, or both! This is also a great way to start setting intentions for you day. If today started out at 5 stars, what could you do to keep that momentum? Conversely, if your day started out at 2 stars, what could be done to up that rating? 

Take an inventory of your emotions

Keeping track of how you’re feeling is also an excellent way to check in with yourself. Start at the beginning of your day and write at least 3 feelings words that describe your current state. Then, at the end of the day, do the same thing and compare how your feelings have either changed or not changed from the morning time. (bonus points if you do this mid day as well!) 

This is a great practice to not only keep track of how we are feeling, but to continue to practice being in tune with ourselves and our emotions. If the feelings you logged at the beginning of the day have changed, at what point do you think they changed? Why? If they stayed the same, what do you think helped you maintain that state? The cool thing about these exercises is that after a while. You’ll have a log that you can look back on! You’ll be able to see how you were feeling at certain times, what contributed to those feelings, and understand yourself in different ways. Happy Checking In!

Mental Health Acronyms and Abbreviations

By Christy Maeder, LCSW and Nooshi Ghasedi, MA

The mental health world is so full of abbreviations that it can sometimes feel like learning a new language. Whether you’re navigating therapy, reading about treatment options, or filling out forms, acronyms like EMDR, PTSD, and LPC pop up everywhere. We know this can be confusing, so we created a quick reference to help break it all down. This guide is here to make the language of mental health more understandable and less intimidating—because everyone deserves to feel informed and empowered when it comes to their care.

  1. Diagnostic & Clinical Terms
  • DSM – Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
  • ICD – International Classification of Diseases
  • MDD – Major Depressive Disorder
  • GAD – Generalized Anxiety Disorder
  • PTSD – Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
  • OCD – Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
  • ADHD – Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
  • BPD – Borderline Personality Disorder
  • ASD – Autism Spectrum Disorder
  • PDD – Persistent Depressive Disorder
  • SUD – Substance Use Disorder
  • ED – Eating Disorder
  • BP – Bipolar Disorder
  1. Therapeutic Approaches
  • CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
  • DBT – Dialectical Behavior Therapy
  • ACT – Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
  • EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
  • IFS – Internal Family Systems
  • TF-CBT – Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
  • MBCT – Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy
  • MI – Motivational Interviewing
  • PE – Prolonged Exposure (for PTSD)
  1. Assessment Tools
  • PHQ-9 – Patient Health Questionnaire-9
  • GAD-7 – Generalized Anxiety Disorder 7-item scale
  • ACES – Adverse Childhood Experiences Scale
  • MMPI – Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory
  • BAI – Beck Anxiety Inventory
  • BDI-II – Beck Depression Inventory II
  • SCID – Structured Clinical Interview for DSM
  • PCL-5 – Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Measurement for DSM-5
  1. Children’s Mental Health Acronyms
  • IEP – Individualized Education Program
  • 504 Plan – Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act (accommodations in school)
  • FBA – Functional Behavioral Assessment
  • BIP – Behavior Intervention Plan
  • IDEA – Individuals with Disabilities Education Act
  • SEL – Social and Emotional Learning
  • LRE – Least Restrictive Environment
  • RTI – Response to Intervention
  • PBIS – Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports
  • FTF – Face-to-Face (sessions, often used for children)
  • PCIT – Parent-Child Interaction Therapy
  • PMT – Parent Management Training
  • DYAD – Dyadic therapy (child and caregiver)
  • PANS/PANDAS – Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome / Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal Infections
  • DD – Developmental Delay
  • SPD – Sensory Processing Disorder
  1. Licensure & Professional Terms
  • LCSW – Licensed Clinical Social Worker
  • LMFT – Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
  • LPC/LPCC – Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
  • PsyD – Doctor of Psychology
  • MSW – Master of Social Work
  1. Systems & Legal Terms
  • EHR – Electronic Health Record
  • HIPAA – Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act
  • CPS – Child Protective Services
  • DCFS – Department of Children and Family Services
  • GAL – Guardian ad Litem
  • IEP – Individualized Education Program
  • FERPA – Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act
  1. Crisis & Suicide Prevention
  • QPR – Question, Persuade, Refer
  • C-SSRS – Columbia-Suicide Severity Rating Scale
  • NSSI – Non-Suicidal Self-Injury 
  1. LGBTQIA+ and Cultural Terms
  • LGBTQIA+ – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning, Intersex, Asexual (and others)
  • BIPOC – Black, Indigenous, and People of Color
  • DEI – Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion

SOGIE – Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Expression

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Practical Ways to Build Confidence at Work

Confidence at work doesn’t always come naturally but it can be built. Whether you’re new to your role, stepping into leadership, or just trying to quiet that inner critic, here are five simple and practical ways to start building confidence in the workplace.

Be Prepared

Confidence starts with preparation. When you walk into meetings or presentations well-prepared, you’ll feel more grounded and in control. Take time to understand your tasks, do your research, and anticipate questions. The more you know your material, the less room there is for self-doubt.

Speak Up (Even if You’re Nervous)

Raising your hand in meetings or contributing ideas can feel scary but the more you do it, the easier it gets. Confidence isn’t the absence of nervousness; it’s the willingness to speak despite it.

Start small: ask a question, share a thought, or offer support. Every time you speak up, you’re training your brain to see your voice as valuable and it is.

Keep a Record of Your Achievements

It’s easy to forget your wins when you’re focused on what’s next. Keeping a log of your accomplishments big and small can remind you of your growth and impact.

Whether it’s an email folder of positive feedback, a journal, or a running list in your Notes app, having a personal “brag file” gives you evidence of your worth when imposter syndrome tries to sneak in.

Ask for Feedback From People You Trust

Feedback is one of the fastest ways to grow, but it’s also a powerful confidence-builder. When you ask trusted colleagues or mentors for constructive feedback, you not only show initiative, but you also gain valuable insight into what you’re doing well (and where you can improve).

Choose people who will be honest and kind. Their input can help you see strengths you might be overlooking.

Surround Yourself With Encouraging People

Confidence is contagious. Surround yourself with colleagues, mentors, and friends who lift you up and believe in your potential. Limit time with those who constantly criticize or create self-doubt.

Your environment shapes your mindset and makes sure it supports the version of you that you’re becoming.

Final Thoughts

Building confidence at work is a process, not a personality trait you’re either born with or without. It grows every time you take a small step forward, try something new, or simply remind yourself that you’re capable.

Start with one of these strategies and build from there. Your confident self is already in the making.



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Why Some Changes Energize You And Others Wear You Out

Change is constant. But our reactions to it? All over the map.

Some changes spark energy and creativity. Others leave us overwhelmed and drained. Why is that?

The difference often lies not in the change itself, but in how we experience and respond to it.

So how can you use your strengths to approach change with more energy and less exhaustion?

Here are three practical ways:

Know What You’re Good At

Start by identifying your strengths as an individual and as a team. This isn’t about optimism or wishful thinking. It’s about taking stock of the resources you already have.

When you know what you’re good at, your brain is more likely to see new situations as manageable rather than threatening.

Try this: Ask yourself:

  • What kind of work makes me feel most engaged?
  • When do I feel at my best?
  • What strengths am I using in those moments?

These patterns can point you toward the tools you need to navigate change more effectively.

Apply Your Strengths to New Challenges

Change doesn’t mean you have to reinvent yourself. Often, it’s about using familiar strengths in unfamiliar situations.

When you match your natural talents to the demands of change, you’re more likely to experience “flow”  that energized state where work feels challenging but manageable.

Try this:
Look at one task related to a current change that feels heavy.
Ask: “How could I approach this using one of my strengths?”

Even a small shift in perspective can turn a draining task into something far more doable.

Adjust, Don’t Overuse

Strengths are powerful but they aren’t one-size-fits-all. Used in the wrong context or at the wrong intensity, even your best qualities can backfire.

For example, being detail-oriented is a huge asset — but too much focus on the details during an early-stage brainstorm could slow things down. The key is to adapt your strengths to fit the moment.

Try this:
Reflect on a recent moment when one of your strengths didn’t work as well as you’d hoped.
Ask:

  • Was the context right for that strength?
  • Could I have dialed it up or down?
  • What would I do differently next time?

Flexibility is what allows strengths to stay effective and energizing over time.

The Bottom Line

Change doesn’t have to leave you depleted. When you lead with strengths not just effort you create a path that feels more sustainable, productive, and energizing.

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8 Steps To Make Peace With Your Past Self

Are past mistakes and regrets holding you back? It’s time to make peace with your former self and embrace a more fulfilling future. Here are eight steps to help you heal and move forward with confidence.

Practice Empathy

Start by understanding your younger self. Recognize that your circumstances and limited life experience shaped your past actions. Treat yourself with compassion instead of judgment.

Embrace Your Humanity

No one is perfect. Accept that your flaws and mistakes are part of being human. Embracing your imperfections allows you to release shame and guilt from the past.

Forgive Yourself

Forgiving your past self is essential for healing. You did the best you could at the time with the knowledge and tools you had. Let go of regret and give yourself permission to move forward.

Accept the Past

You can’t change what’s already happened, but you can choose to accept it. Stop living in regret and start focusing on creating a better future for yourself.

Take Ownership

Acknowledge the impact of your past actions and take responsibility. Owning your mistakes shows maturity and helps you grow, making it easier to move past guilt.

Make Amends

While you can’t go back in time, you can still make things right by taking positive actions today. Seek opportunities to make amends and rebuild relationships.

Be Your Best Self

Choose to be the person you aspire to be. Set intentions for your personal growth and align your actions with your values. Your future self will thank you.

Live Your Best Life

Let go of past baggage and focus on living a life full of purpose, joy, and fulfillment. Define what your “best life” looks like and take steps toward it every day.

Move Forward with Confidence

Making peace with your past self is the key to living a more meaningful life. By embracing empathy, forgiveness, and personal growth, you can let go of past wounds and create a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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