mental health

Listing may be trending now, but humans have probably been making lists since the days of pen and papyrus. There’s something satisfying about crossing something off, each checkmark gives us a small dopamine boost and a sense of progress.

You’ve probably also heard that writing things down helps you “manifest” goals. While that idea can sound mystical, there’s real psychology behind it. Putting thoughts on paper helps clarify what we want and makes us more likely to follow through.

Lists Help You Focus

Writing things down digitally or by hand helps organize thoughts that might otherwise swirl around in your mind. Lists create structure and give your ideas a place to live outside your head, helping you focus on what actually matters.

Lists Strengthen Memory and Commitment

The act of writing reinforces memory. When you take the time to write out plans or goals, you signal to your brain that they’re important. This makes you more likely to remember them—and act on them.

Lists Can Reduce Anxiety

Lists can also be powerful tools for managing worry. A cognitive behavioral strategy called “Worry Time” works like this: when a worry pops up, write it down and postpone thinking about it until a scheduled 10–15 minute window later in the day. By the time you revisit the list, many worries have already lost their intensity.

Lists Can Help You Sleep

If you wake up at night worrying, keeping a notebook by your bed can help. Writing down the thought allows your mind to release it, making it easier to fall back asleep and handle it in the morning.

Different Lists Serve Different Purposes

• Daily or weekly lists help track tasks, appointments, and plans. 
• Monthly lists can be more aspirational—trying a new class, finishing a book, or planning an event. 
• Long-term lists help capture bigger goals. 

Research shows that written goals are significantly more likely to be achieved because writing them down turns an idea into something concrete.

Use Lists With Self-Compassion

Lists are helpful, but they shouldn’t become tools for self-criticism. Overloading your list or judging yourself for unfinished tasks can create stress instead of reducing it.

Instead:

• Start small, completing one or two items can make a day successful. 
• Be specific about what you want to do. 
• Review your lists regularly and adjust them as your priorities change.
  

In the end, the real value of lists isn’t just productivity, it’s clarity. Writing things down helps reduce mental clutter, manage worries, and turn intentions into action. Even one crossed-off item can remind you that progress is happening.

Here are five practical things parents can do to help kids build healthier, safer relationships with screens.

Set Reasonable Limits for Family Media Use

Clear boundaries help kids understand that screens are just one part of life, not the center of it. Setting reasonable limits on screen time (such as no devices during meals or before bedtime) creates predictable routines and reduces power struggles. When limits are consistent and age-appropriate, kids are more likely to accept them and learn to manage their own media use over time.

Encourage Alternative Activities

Kids don’t need screens to stay entertained, but sometimes they need help remembering that. Encourage activities that don’t involve devices, such as playing board games, doing puzzles, shooting hoops, or reading books together. You can also support hobbies that match your child’s interests, like painting, crafting, hiking, climbing, chess, or birdwatching. When kids discover activities they truly enjoy, screens naturally become less dominant.

Model Healthy Relationships With Screens

Kids learn more from what we do than what we say. If parents are constantly scrolling, checking notifications, or multitasking on devices, children will notice. Modeling healthy screen habits, like putting your phone away during conversations or taking breaks from devices, shows kids what balanced media use actually looks like. Being a good screen-time role model may be one of the most powerful tools parents have.

Insist on Screen-Free Bedrooms

Keeping screens out of bedrooms helps protect sleep, privacy, and emotional well-being. Devices in bedrooms make it harder for kids to unplug, fall asleep, and avoid content they’re not ready for. Screen-free bedrooms also reduce late-night scrolling and encourage better rest, which is essential for growing minds and bodies.

Be Unafraid of “Bored Time”

Boredom isn’t something parents need to fix, it’s something kids can learn from. When children aren’t constantly entertained by screens, they’re more likely to develop creativity, problem-solving skills, and independence. Allowing kids to experience boredom gives them space to imagine, explore, and figure out how to occupy their time on their own.

For many people, self-discipline feels like punishment. It’s associated with restriction, rigidity, and forcing yourself to do things you don’t want to do. No wonder it’s so hard to stick with.

But self-discipline doesn’t have to feel like a battle. When you approach it differently, it can become something you appreciate—even enjoy. Instead of being about control, it becomes about freedom: the freedom to act in alignment with your goals, values, and future self.

Here are five ways to change how you relate to self-discipline and learn to love it.

Let Success at Self-Discipline Fan Out

Self-discipline compounds. When you succeed in one small area, the effects naturally spill over into others.

Waking up earlier might lead to better mornings. Better mornings might lead to improved focus. Improved focus might lead to better work and suddenly your confidence grows. You begin to see yourself as someone who follows through.

Instead of trying to overhaul your entire life at once, focus on winning in one narrow, manageable area. Let that success fan out. Momentum is one of the most underrated aspects of self-discipline, and it’s far more powerful than willpower alone.

Link Self-Discipline to Something You Value Highly

Self-discipline feels unbearable when it’s disconnected from meaning.

If your habits are rooted in “shoulds” or external pressure, they’ll always feel heavy. But when self-discipline is clearly tied to something you deeply care about—your health, your family, your creativity, your independence it takes on a different emotional tone.

Ask yourself: What does this discipline protect or make possible?

Going to the gym isn’t about suffering—it’s about energy, confidence, and longevity. Saving money isn’t about deprivation, it’s about freedom and security.

When discipline serves your values, it stops feeling like self-denial and starts feeling like self-respect.

Disconnect Your Version of Self-Discipline From Your Stereotypes

Many people reject self-discipline because they’re reacting to a stereotype: the joyless, hyper-controlled, always-grinding version of discipline.

That version is optional.

Your self-discipline doesn’t have to look harsh or extreme. It can be flexible, compassionate, and tailored to how you work best. You can build structure without becoming rigid. You can be consistent without being perfectionistic.

Redefine discipline as support, not punishment. It’s a system that helps you do what matters, not a personality trait you’re either born with or not.

Invest Equally in the Self-Discipline of Less and the Self-Discipline of More

Self-discipline isn’t only about doing more, it’s also about doing less.

We often celebrate discipline when it shows up as productivity, hustle, and achievement. But restraint, rest, and saying no require just as much discipline.

Turning off your phone. Leaving work on time. Skipping something that drains you. These are acts of discipline too.

When you value both sides effort and recovery, action and restraint you create a balanced relationship with discipline. It stops being about pushing endlessly and starts being about choosing wisely.

Treat Self-Discipline Like a Type of Fitness You Can Build

Self-discipline isn’t fixed. It’s trainable.

Just like physical fitness, it improves with practice, consistency, and patience. You wouldn’t expect to lift heavy weights on your first day at the gym, so why expect perfect discipline from day one?

Start small. Build gradually. Allow rest days. Expect setbacks. Progress comes from repetition, not intensity.

When you see discipline as a skill you’re developing rather than a moral test you remove shame from the process. And without shame, growth becomes much easier.

 

Overthinking gets a bad reputation. It’s often framed as the enemy of productivity, peace, and progress. But what if overthinking isn’t the problem? What if it’s simply misdirected energy?

At its core, overthinking is a sign of a sharp, attentive mind one that notices patterns, anticipates outcomes, and cares deeply. When channeled correctly, it can become one of your greatest strengths.

Here are three powerful ways to turn overthinking into your ultimate superpower.

Turn Overthinking Into Organization

Overthinkers are natural information collectors. Your mind constantly gathers details, connections, and possibilities, so instead of letting them swirl chaotically, give them a system.

Turn mental loops into lists.
Turn anxiety into action plans.
Turn scattered thoughts into structured frameworks.

Whether it’s journaling, task mapping, or creating step-by-step processes, organization gives your thoughts a home. Once your ideas are written down and categorized, your brain can finally breathe—and focus on execution instead of repetition.

Pro tip: If a thought keeps returning, it’s not asking for attention—it’s asking for structure.

Counter “What If” With “Then What”

Overthinking thrives on unanswered questions, especially “What if?” scenarios that spiral into worst-case outcomes.

The solution isn’t to shut them down. It’s to finish the thought.

When your brain asks, “What if this goes wrong?” respond with, “Then what?”

• What would you actually do?
• What’s within your control?
• What’s the most likely—not the most dramatic—outcome?

Most fears lose their power once you walk them all the way through. By following the chain to its logical conclusion, you replace vague anxiety with concrete options. Suddenly, you’re not stuck you’re prepared.

Channel Overthinking Into Foresight

Overthinking is future-focused by nature. Instead of letting it fuel worry, use it to fuel wisdom.

Your ability to anticipate challenges, spot gaps, and imagine outcomes is the same skill great planners, leaders, and creators rely on. The key difference? Direction.

Ask yourself:

• How can this thought help me prepare, not panic?
• What insight is this trying to show me?
• How can I use this awareness to make a better decision today?

When you shift from fear-based thinking to intention-based thinking, overthinking becomes foresight and foresight is power.

Final Thought

You don’t need to “stop overthinking.” You need to lead it.

With structure, completion, and purpose, the very thing you once saw as a weakness can become your edge. Overthinking isn’t your enemy, it’s untapped potential waiting for direction.

Turn it into your superpower.

What if your worries weren’t working against you – but for you? So often, we see worry as something to fight, silence, or rise above. But in truth, worry can be one of the most honest parts of us. It points to what we value most deeply, what we want to protect, and where we crave clarity or change.

Instead of seeing worry as a sign of weakness, we can learn to listen to it with compassion. Even anxious thoughts can carry seeds of insight, such as an unmet need or a boundary being tested.

By pausing to listen, we open the door for more self-understanding and begin to transform unease into awareness. 

Recognize Worry as a Messenger

Often, our first instinct is to suppress a worry. But in doing that, we miss what it’s trying to communicate entirely. Worries can stem from our desires, whether that be safety, control, or clarity. Rather than taking the emotion from the thought, we can instead get curious. Asking, “What is this worry really addressing?” can help you stay calm and listen without resistance. 

Keep the Mind Grounded

Once we’ve identified what’s worrying us, the next step is to stay grounded. Writing down our worries can help us see them clearly for what they are; Journaling, recording voice notes, or even making quick lists can be proactive. It helps us process these thoughts more effectively and shift our minds from spiralling. It may also reveal aspects of our lives we want to strengthen or dive deeper into. 

Build Trust With Self-Compassion

Worry can thrive when trust in ourselves is missing. So, when we meet our worries with judgment and say things like, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” it only reinforces fear and shame. But when we meet these worries with kindness, we create safety within ourselves. Learning to breathe through the uncertainty and take things one mindful step at a time can make a difference. Compassion can build resilience.

Final Thoughts

Worry is not something we have to battle all the time, but something we can try to understand better. Taking the time to really listen to what our thoughts are pointing toward and responding with intention can turn our worries into tools for growth. The key is to meet them with patience, curiosity, and quiet confidence. The more we listen, the more we learn to move through life with awareness and grace.

By Rita Melnikova, M.A. and Collin King, LPC

Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) — sometimes called domestic violence — can happen to anyone. It’s more common than many people realize: about 1 in 3 women and 1 in 4 men in the U.S. have experienced physical violence, sexual violence, or stalking by a partner at some point in their lives. The effects of IPV can last long after the relationship ends.

IPV isn’t just physical harm. It can include:

• Emotional or verbal abuse – being insulted, controlled, or made to feel worthless
• Sexual abuse – being pressured or forced into sex or sexual acts
• Financial control – being denied access to money or basic resources
• Threats, intimidation, or isolation – feeling afraid, trapped, or cut off from friends and family

All of these forms of abuse can deeply affect physical and emotional health. People who have experienced IPV may struggle with anxiety, depression, sleep problems, chronic pain, or thoughts of self-harm — sometimes years later.

Why Talking Matters

You don’t have to have everything figured out before bringing it up. A safe, caring conversation with your therapist can be the first step toward understanding what’s happening and exploring your options.

Fear Is a Red Flag

Abuse is about power and control. If you feel fear in your relationship — fear of your partner’s anger, reactions, or what might happen if you say no — that’s a sign something isn’t right.

Common control tactics include:

• Threats or intimidation
• Blaming you or minimizing what happened
• Controlling money, transportation, or access to help
• Isolating you from friends or family
• Using children to guilt or manipulate

Seeking Safety and Support

If you’re worried about your safety or someone else’s, help is available. You don’t have to face it alone.

• If you ever feel in physical danger, call 911; for mental health crises, call 988.
• You can reach the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or thehotline.org.
• If you’re a client at Vista Counseling, you can also talk with your therapist. We can help connect you to resources and ongoing support.

Remember:

• Abuse is not your fault.
• Chronic fear is NOT part of a healthy relationship.
• Healing is possible — and you don’t have to do it alone.

Resources

• What is the Cycle of Abuse?
• Domestic Violence Month Resources
• Find Help–Oregon Coalition Against Domestic and Sexual Violence 

Hope and Safety Alliance – provides trauma informed and survivor-centered services for all survivors of domestic and sexual violence.

You can think of your life as a book in progress – with so many chapters left to be written. While you’re already filled with plenty of experiences, life lessons, and plot twists, there’s even more to come. 

As the author of your own story, you have the power to decide where you can go and how it unfolds from here. Every word you speak and decision you make adds a line to the story of the person you’re becoming. The story of your future self is already forming and waiting for you to bring it to life. 

It’s when you begin to move with purpose, align with possibility, and see yourself as the writer that you’ll be able to create something extraordinary. Follow these tips for more:

Begin With the Vision

With every great story comes a spark of imagination. You can ask yourself: “Who do I want to be a year from now? Or even five years from now?” Picture this version of you vividly – surrounded by the types of relationships, environments, and goals you want to pursue. The clearer this vision is, the more you can take steps to align with it. This simple visualization can turn your dreams into something tangible. 

Connect the Present to the Future

Once your vision feels real, you can start linking it to where you are now and thinking about what small actions can be taken to bridge the gap between today’s “you” and your goals for the future. Write growth and habits into your daily life to start working on this version of your future self slowly over time –  like waking up a little earlier, researching a career that interests you, or setting boundaries.

Rewrite Limiting Narratives 

While you write the next chapters of your life, take note of the challenges that are holding you back. Phrases like “It’s too late to change” or “I’m not confident enough” are internal scripts that can limit you. But there’s still time to edit this inner dialogue and replace it with new sentences that reaffirm just how confident and capable you really are. 

Act as if the Future is Now

Match the energy you envision for your future self by thinking of yourself as that person now. For example, if your future self is calmer under pressure, practices mindfulness often, or is self-assured, you can begin taking these steps now. There’s no better time than the present to start thinking of yourself as the person you want to be. 

Final Thoughts

What you pour into your thoughts, choices, and self-belief shapes who you become in the future. So create the next chapters of your story by moving with purpose and intention. You are both the storyteller and the story – and that’s what makes your journey so impactful.

By : Claire Butcher

This article discusses self-harm and suicide. Please see a list of hotlines and resources below if you need to speak to someone. 

Talking about suicide can be scary. It is taught to us as a taboo topic that should be avoided, driven by myths that people may act on their suicidal thoughts if we start the conversation. But the facts remain – over 720,000 people die by suicide per year, reminding us that it’s a vital discussion to have with our loved ones and communities. Today, we’ll review the common warning signs of suicidality, the ‘dos and don’ts’ if a loved one expresses suicidality to you, and some common myths. 

Warning Signs

Before talking about what to do if a loved one shares with you that they’re suicidal, it’s important to learn the different forms of suicidality and what constitutes a mental health emergency. 

Non-Suicidal Self-Injury, or NSSI refers to self-harm (this can take the form of cutting/hitting/burning oneself). Self-harm can happen with or without the intent to end one’s life. People can engage in self-harm to help ground themselves to manage feelings of overwhelm or dissociation, as an outlet to process emotional pain, as a way to ‘feel’ something instead of emotional numbness, or as a way to ‘punish’ themselves when managing severe mental health symptoms. It is important to recognize self-harm as a coping skill, and learn harm-reductive outlets to build longer-lasting and more helpful tools, while fostering healthier relationships with our bodies and emotions. 

Passive Suicidal Ideation refers to any desire to end one’s life, “sleep forever”, or other forms of suicidal thinking that don’t involve a plan or intent to attempt suicide. These thoughts can look like: “I just wish I could disappear”, “I want to go away for a long time” or for “the world to end”. 

Active Suicidal Ideation is when someone wants to end their life and is actively thinking about a plan, taking steps to prepare to end their life (for example, researching methods of how they can attempt suicide, writing letters to loved ones, giving things away), or feeling an urge to act on their suicidal thoughts. 

This article provides more details of what suicidal ideation can look like. In general, here are some common warning signs that someone may be thinking about attempting suicide: 

• Expressing hopelessness or feeling like a burden to others
• Talking about wanting to “disappear” or die
• Withdrawing from social events and regular activities
• Drastic changes in mood or behaviors – people can have a drastic positive shift in their mood when they’re seriously contemplating suicide, as thinking about ending their pain can bring on a “wave of relief”
• Giving away possessions or saying goodbye to others

Debunking Common Myths Surrounding Suicide

• “Don’t talk about suicide, it will make the person act on their thoughts.” → There is no evidence for this. Talking about suicide reduces stigma and can help individuals seek support.
• “Suicide only affects people with mental health conditions.” → Many people with mental illness are not affected by suicidal thoughts, and not all people who die by suicide have mental illness. Life stressors, legal matters, trauma, death, and many other life circumstances are associated with suicidal thoughts and behavior. 
• “People who talk about their suicidality are just seeking attention.” → People who die by suicide often tell others about not wanting to live, making it vital for us to take these signs seriously.
• “Only teenagers are affected by suicidal thoughts.” → The highest risk age groups are women between the ages of 45-64, and men 75 and older. This also does not include the elevated risk for the BIPOC and LGBTQ+ communities.
• “Suicide is not preventable.” → Therapeutic and medication interventions do work. One of the best ways to prevent suicide is to seek help and treatment. 

The Dos & Don’ts for Talking About Suicide

• Don’t react with shock or fear. This can make the individual feel like it’s unsafe to talk about suicide and only adds to the stigma. 
• Don’t judge, do not debate if suicide is right or wrong, or if these feelings are “good or bad”. 
• Don’t sugarcoat. Do not compare their situation to others or minimize their struggle.
• Do meet them where they are – validate their feelings, ask more questions about what’s causing them to think about harming themselves.
• Do be direct. Ask clear questions like “Are you thinking about suicide?” and “ Do you have a plan?”.
• Do connect them with resources and encourage them to seek professional care. This can also take the form of creating a Safety Plan. 
• Do follow up. Keeping in touch with loved ones who are suicidal is vital. 

It is life-saving to keep the conversation around suicide going. Having routine check-ins with loved ones surrounding mental health is one way we can prevent suicide and foster an environment of care and compassion. If you or a loved one is experiencing suicidal thoughts, please see the resources below. 

Hotlines and Resources

• National Suicide Hotline – Call 988
• The Trevor Project 
• Crisis Text Line – Text HOME to 741741
• Vista Counseling Resources

Positive thinking isn’t about ignoring life’s difficulties or pretending everything is perfect, it’s about developing a mindset that helps you navigate challenges with resilience and hope. By intentionally shaping the way you think, you can create more space for joy, confidence, and growth in your everyday life. Here are four powerful ways to strengthen your positive thinking.

Have Hope That Things Will Work Out

Hope is the foundation of positive thinking. When you believe that better days are ahead, it helps you keep moving forward even when the present feels heavy. Hope fuels perseverance and gives you the energy to keep working toward your goals. Try reminding yourself that setbacks are temporary and that solutions often come when you least expect them.

Look at the Bright Side Every Day

Life is a mix of good and bad, but focusing on what’s good even in small doses can shift your entire outlook. Whether it’s a compliment you received, a small achievement, or a beautiful moment in nature, acknowledging the bright side daily helps train your brain to notice positivity more naturally. Keeping a gratitude journal can make this practice easier and more consistent.

Believe in Yourself to Overcome Challenges

Self-belief is a powerful tool. When you trust your own abilities, you’re more likely to step into challenges instead of avoiding them. This doesn’t mean you’ll always succeed right away, but it does mean you’ll approach obstacles with determination and courage. Start by recognizing your past wins  big or small as proof that you are capable of moving through difficulties.

Accept Negative Emotions and Express Your Feelings

Positive thinking doesn’t mean you have to be cheerful all the time. Suppressing sadness, anger, or fear only makes them grow stronger. Instead, allow yourself to feel these emotions, express them in healthy ways, and then let them go. By accepting your feelings, you make room for healing and create balance an essential part of staying positive in the long run.

Strengthening positive thinking is a practice, not a one-time shift. The more you nurture hope, gratitude, self-belief, and emotional acceptance, the more resilient and optimistic your mindset becomes. Over time, you’ll find it easier to see opportunities instead of obstacles and that’s where real growth begins.