mental health

How Creativity Fuels Resilience

Life can test us, but it’s our resilience that propels us to move forward. At the heart of that resilience, motivation can come from many sources, such as community, hobbies, and creativity. 

Creativity isn’t just limited to those who love the arts – it’s for everyone. When people think of creativity, painting and writing can come to mind, but it’s about more than that. It’s also about finding fresh ways to express ourselves, learn to adapt, and reimagine our lives. 

Tapping into creative practices can provide us with new outlets for healing, resilience, and strength to move forward. 

Use Creative Expression as Release

Dealing with overwhelming feelings? Having a creative space to express them can help us release these heavy emotions and give us time to process them, allowing us to understand ourselves better. The next time we feel intense emotion, we can grab a pen or a brush and express ourselves through creative activities. 

Reframe Your Story Through Creativity

Resilience can thrive on perspective, and if we are positive about ourselves and our story, it becomes even more powerful. That’s where creativity comes in. Through creative projects, such as poetry or journaling, we can reshape our narrative, accept our past, and transform our future. It’s all about turning hardship into growth and possibility. 

Find Joy in Small Acts of Creation

It can be freeing to be creative, even in small ways.  Cooking a colorful meal, rearranging our space, or snapping photos of nature can be simple acts with a big impact. Including these “creative rituals” in our day helps us experience little sparks of joy that can fuel our resilience and enjoyment of everyday life, keeping us going.

See Creativity as a Pathway to Growth

With the lens of creativity, we can look at each new day as a blank canvas and think, “How will I paint this into something new?” It’s a reminder that life, just like art, is formed by trying, making mistakes, and trying again. This way of thinking can breathe new hope and self-discovery into our daily lives. 

Final Thoughts

Creative practices are not meant to erase the challenges we face, but to transform them. By engaging in these practices, we can fuel our resilience, find meaning, and discover how adaptable we truly are. That even in tough times, we can create a masterpiece.

 

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The Guiding Principles of a Purpose-Driven Life

We all search for meaning. Some find it in career, others in family, and some through spiritual or creative pursuits. But no matter where purpose is rooted – it can give our lives meaning, direction, and depth. 

The beauty of purpose is that it isn’t one-size-fits-all. There are still guiding principles that can help us find more meaning in our lives and remind us of what really matters. Here are some ways we can discover meaning and purpose in our daily lives.

Stay Connected to Your “Why”

Our “why” is an inner anchor and the deeper reason behind our goals, choices, and commitments. It’s the push we need to get up in the morning and move forward even when challenges arise. For example, working on a project might feel draining but a motivation for “why” is continuing our passions. The “why” can be a reminder of who we are and what we stand for. 

Embrace Growth and Change

Purpose can be more than one thing and can evolve as we do. Allowing ourselves the flexibility to grow, shift directions, and explore new callings is key. Life can present new experiences and with them can come new callings. We can give ourselves permission to pivot, let go of outdated foals, and embrace new directions.

Align Daily Choices with Your Purpose

Big visions are inspiring but purpose can also come from small, daily choices. It can be as simple as how you choose to spend your mornings or the time you take on committing to the things you love, like writing or reading. We don’t need to constantly overhaul our lives to live with purpose but we can over time, do consistent actions each day that reflect our deepest values. 

Final Thoughts

Living with purpose doesn’t mean everything has to be figured out. Rather, it means we choose to navigate our lives with intention and more direction. Every day is a chance to live with greater meaning, to connect with what truly matters, and to leave behind something lasting.

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Fostering a Sense of “Newness”

By Emi Gilbert, LCSW

“Habituation” is the phenomenon where we become desensitized to the same repeated stimuli. Right now, take a moment to notice the feeling of your clothes on your body. For the majority of us, we were not attuned to this sensation until we deliberately drew our attention to it. We experience the stimulus of our clothes on our skin all day long, so it becomes undetectable. For any stimulus that the body experiences consistently, our brains deem it unnecessary (and overwhelming) to respond. It’s a nifty trick our brains often do to keep us from being constantly overstimulated. However, this is also what makes staying mindfully present so challenging. If we wake up in the same bed, make the same coffee, take the same route to work, sit in the same office, and go home to the same living space, we become more “habituated” to our own lives. The stimuli we are so used to do not warrant our attention. They fade into the background. 

We can break this “habituation” by drawing our attention to our surroundings with mindful intention. Can you pick up the coffee mug you use everyday and find every little thing you have never noticed about it before? Can you feel your chair underneath your legs? Can you even feel your own breath? These are invaluable mindfulness exercises. And yet, in my experience, the more familiar my surroundings, the more challenging it is to remind myself to practice. 

The most natural moments to engage in mindfulness are when I am having a new experience and therefore receiving new stimuli. We may feel this most starkly when we make grand changes – moving to a new house, starting a new job, or traveling to a new city. We are more acutely aware of how everything feels anew. However, substantial changes are not required to evoke this sense of “newness” and vivacity. We have the opportunity to foster this sense in our everyday lives. If I’m walking down a street I’ve never seen, listening to a song I’ve never heard, or rearranging my bedroom in a new way, I am instantly more awakened to the present.

A personal challenge I have set out for myself this summer is to find opportunities to experience something new. It can be anything from a new route on my walk, a new menu item I have never tried, or a new place to read. This is a practice that does not require any particular landmark to begin, so give yourself permission to participate on any random day and tune into your new experience. The more variety of experiences we have, the wider life gets. The more mindfulness we practice, the deeper our present experience gets.

A Midsummer Night’s Check-in

By: Collin King, LPC and Mindy Laroco, LPC

For many Oregonians, SUMMER (in all caps!) is what we’ve been waiting for.

“This is what I invested in during mid-February!” we might feel. “I’ve got to soak it up!”

But in the glory of all that Vitamin D, it can be easy to over-extend socially, or to feel pressure to make the most of every beautiful day. 

Here are some check-in questions you can explore to help you craft a summer that leaves you both fulfilled and refreshed before the leaves start to turn:

What are your top one or two non-negotiable summer activities that genuinely bring you joy?

How do you typically feel after social gatherings during the summer? If you feel more drained, you may be somewhat introverted, or perhaps the setting isn’t your preference. How can you honor your social battery?

Beyond planned activities, what small, everyday moments of summer bring you peace or a sense of presence? How can you intentionally incorporate more of these moments into your week?

What does genuine rest look like for you in the summer?

Imagining yourself at the start of fall, what would make you feel that you’ve had a truly fulfilling and refreshing season?

“Checking in” doesn’t always mean thinking. Here are some creative ways you might learn to check in with yourself, both for these specific questions and more generally:

Rate your day: How many stars would you give your day out of 5? 

At the end of each day, take some time to reflect on the day and give it a rating. Then, think about what that means to you (everyone’s rating system will look different!). For example, if today was a “3 star day”, what does that mean? What makes it higher than a “2 star day”, but not quite a “4 star day”? 

Don’t be afraid to get creative! 

There are various ways to cater this “rating system” to what you like! If not stars, use grades! (or whatever you would like!) Was your day an A+? B? C-? Why’s that? Make this system work for you so that checking in with yourself becomes a habit. 

Having a “rating system” can be so helpful to continue to check in with yourself. It can be done at the end of the day, at the beginning of the day, or both! This is also a great way to start setting intentions for you day. If today started out at 5 stars, what could you do to keep that momentum? Conversely, if your day started out at 2 stars, what could be done to up that rating? 

Take an inventory of your emotions

Keeping track of how you’re feeling is also an excellent way to check in with yourself. Start at the beginning of your day and write at least 3 feelings words that describe your current state. Then, at the end of the day, do the same thing and compare how your feelings have either changed or not changed from the morning time. (bonus points if you do this mid day as well!) 

This is a great practice to not only keep track of how we are feeling, but to continue to practice being in tune with ourselves and our emotions. If the feelings you logged at the beginning of the day have changed, at what point do you think they changed? Why? If they stayed the same, what do you think helped you maintain that state? The cool thing about these exercises is that after a while. You’ll have a log that you can look back on! You’ll be able to see how you were feeling at certain times, what contributed to those feelings, and understand yourself in different ways. Happy Checking In!

Mental Health Acronyms and Abbreviations

By Christy Maeder, LCSW and Nooshi Ghasedi, MA

The mental health world is so full of abbreviations that it can sometimes feel like learning a new language. Whether you’re navigating therapy, reading about treatment options, or filling out forms, acronyms like EMDR, PTSD, and LPC pop up everywhere. We know this can be confusing, so we created a quick reference to help break it all down. This guide is here to make the language of mental health more understandable and less intimidating—because everyone deserves to feel informed and empowered when it comes to their care.

  1. Diagnostic & Clinical Terms
  • DSM – Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders
  • ICD – International Classification of Diseases
  • MDD – Major Depressive Disorder
  • GAD – Generalized Anxiety Disorder
  • PTSD – Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
  • OCD – Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
  • ADHD – Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder
  • BPD – Borderline Personality Disorder
  • ASD – Autism Spectrum Disorder
  • PDD – Persistent Depressive Disorder
  • SUD – Substance Use Disorder
  • ED – Eating Disorder
  • BP – Bipolar Disorder
  1. Therapeutic Approaches
  • CBT – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
  • DBT – Dialectical Behavior Therapy
  • ACT – Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
  • EMDR – Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
  • IFS – Internal Family Systems
  • TF-CBT – Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
  • MBCT – Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy
  • MI – Motivational Interviewing
  • PE – Prolonged Exposure (for PTSD)
  1. Assessment Tools
  • PHQ-9 – Patient Health Questionnaire-9
  • GAD-7 – Generalized Anxiety Disorder 7-item scale
  • ACES – Adverse Childhood Experiences Scale
  • MMPI – Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory
  • BAI – Beck Anxiety Inventory
  • BDI-II – Beck Depression Inventory II
  • SCID – Structured Clinical Interview for DSM
  • PCL-5 – Posttraumatic Stress Disorder Measurement for DSM-5
  1. Children’s Mental Health Acronyms
  • IEP – Individualized Education Program
  • 504 Plan – Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act (accommodations in school)
  • FBA – Functional Behavioral Assessment
  • BIP – Behavior Intervention Plan
  • IDEA – Individuals with Disabilities Education Act
  • SEL – Social and Emotional Learning
  • LRE – Least Restrictive Environment
  • RTI – Response to Intervention
  • PBIS – Positive Behavioral Interventions and Supports
  • FTF – Face-to-Face (sessions, often used for children)
  • PCIT – Parent-Child Interaction Therapy
  • PMT – Parent Management Training
  • DYAD – Dyadic therapy (child and caregiver)
  • PANS/PANDAS – Pediatric Acute-onset Neuropsychiatric Syndrome / Pediatric Autoimmune Neuropsychiatric Disorders Associated with Streptococcal Infections
  • DD – Developmental Delay
  • SPD – Sensory Processing Disorder
  1. Licensure & Professional Terms
  • LCSW – Licensed Clinical Social Worker
  • LMFT – Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist
  • LPC/LPCC – Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor
  • PsyD – Doctor of Psychology
  • MSW – Master of Social Work
  1. Systems & Legal Terms
  • EHR – Electronic Health Record
  • HIPAA – Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act
  • CPS – Child Protective Services
  • DCFS – Department of Children and Family Services
  • GAL – Guardian ad Litem
  • IEP – Individualized Education Program
  • FERPA – Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act
  1. Crisis & Suicide Prevention
  • QPR – Question, Persuade, Refer
  • C-SSRS – Columbia-Suicide Severity Rating Scale
  • NSSI – Non-Suicidal Self-Injury 
  1. LGBTQIA+ and Cultural Terms
  • LGBTQIA+ – Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer or Questioning, Intersex, Asexual (and others)
  • BIPOC – Black, Indigenous, and People of Color
  • DEI – Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion

SOGIE – Sexual Orientation, Gender Identity, and Expression

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Practical Ways to Build Confidence at Work

Confidence at work doesn’t always come naturally but it can be built. Whether you’re new to your role, stepping into leadership, or just trying to quiet that inner critic, here are five simple and practical ways to start building confidence in the workplace.

Be Prepared

Confidence starts with preparation. When you walk into meetings or presentations well-prepared, you’ll feel more grounded and in control. Take time to understand your tasks, do your research, and anticipate questions. The more you know your material, the less room there is for self-doubt.

Speak Up (Even if You’re Nervous)

Raising your hand in meetings or contributing ideas can feel scary but the more you do it, the easier it gets. Confidence isn’t the absence of nervousness; it’s the willingness to speak despite it.

Start small: ask a question, share a thought, or offer support. Every time you speak up, you’re training your brain to see your voice as valuable and it is.

Keep a Record of Your Achievements

It’s easy to forget your wins when you’re focused on what’s next. Keeping a log of your accomplishments big and small can remind you of your growth and impact.

Whether it’s an email folder of positive feedback, a journal, or a running list in your Notes app, having a personal “brag file” gives you evidence of your worth when imposter syndrome tries to sneak in.

Ask for Feedback From People You Trust

Feedback is one of the fastest ways to grow, but it’s also a powerful confidence-builder. When you ask trusted colleagues or mentors for constructive feedback, you not only show initiative, but you also gain valuable insight into what you’re doing well (and where you can improve).

Choose people who will be honest and kind. Their input can help you see strengths you might be overlooking.

Surround Yourself With Encouraging People

Confidence is contagious. Surround yourself with colleagues, mentors, and friends who lift you up and believe in your potential. Limit time with those who constantly criticize or create self-doubt.

Your environment shapes your mindset and makes sure it supports the version of you that you’re becoming.

Final Thoughts

Building confidence at work is a process, not a personality trait you’re either born with or without. It grows every time you take a small step forward, try something new, or simply remind yourself that you’re capable.

Start with one of these strategies and build from there. Your confident self is already in the making.



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Why Some Changes Energize You And Others Wear You Out

Change is constant. But our reactions to it? All over the map.

Some changes spark energy and creativity. Others leave us overwhelmed and drained. Why is that?

The difference often lies not in the change itself, but in how we experience and respond to it.

So how can you use your strengths to approach change with more energy and less exhaustion?

Here are three practical ways:

Know What You’re Good At

Start by identifying your strengths as an individual and as a team. This isn’t about optimism or wishful thinking. It’s about taking stock of the resources you already have.

When you know what you’re good at, your brain is more likely to see new situations as manageable rather than threatening.

Try this: Ask yourself:

  • What kind of work makes me feel most engaged?
  • When do I feel at my best?
  • What strengths am I using in those moments?

These patterns can point you toward the tools you need to navigate change more effectively.

Apply Your Strengths to New Challenges

Change doesn’t mean you have to reinvent yourself. Often, it’s about using familiar strengths in unfamiliar situations.

When you match your natural talents to the demands of change, you’re more likely to experience “flow”  that energized state where work feels challenging but manageable.

Try this:
Look at one task related to a current change that feels heavy.
Ask: “How could I approach this using one of my strengths?”

Even a small shift in perspective can turn a draining task into something far more doable.

Adjust, Don’t Overuse

Strengths are powerful but they aren’t one-size-fits-all. Used in the wrong context or at the wrong intensity, even your best qualities can backfire.

For example, being detail-oriented is a huge asset — but too much focus on the details during an early-stage brainstorm could slow things down. The key is to adapt your strengths to fit the moment.

Try this:
Reflect on a recent moment when one of your strengths didn’t work as well as you’d hoped.
Ask:

  • Was the context right for that strength?
  • Could I have dialed it up or down?
  • What would I do differently next time?

Flexibility is what allows strengths to stay effective and energizing over time.

The Bottom Line

Change doesn’t have to leave you depleted. When you lead with strengths not just effort you create a path that feels more sustainable, productive, and energizing.

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8 Steps To Make Peace With Your Past Self

Are past mistakes and regrets holding you back? It’s time to make peace with your former self and embrace a more fulfilling future. Here are eight steps to help you heal and move forward with confidence.

Practice Empathy

Start by understanding your younger self. Recognize that your circumstances and limited life experience shaped your past actions. Treat yourself with compassion instead of judgment.

Embrace Your Humanity

No one is perfect. Accept that your flaws and mistakes are part of being human. Embracing your imperfections allows you to release shame and guilt from the past.

Forgive Yourself

Forgiving your past self is essential for healing. You did the best you could at the time with the knowledge and tools you had. Let go of regret and give yourself permission to move forward.

Accept the Past

You can’t change what’s already happened, but you can choose to accept it. Stop living in regret and start focusing on creating a better future for yourself.

Take Ownership

Acknowledge the impact of your past actions and take responsibility. Owning your mistakes shows maturity and helps you grow, making it easier to move past guilt.

Make Amends

While you can’t go back in time, you can still make things right by taking positive actions today. Seek opportunities to make amends and rebuild relationships.

Be Your Best Self

Choose to be the person you aspire to be. Set intentions for your personal growth and align your actions with your values. Your future self will thank you.

Live Your Best Life

Let go of past baggage and focus on living a life full of purpose, joy, and fulfillment. Define what your “best life” looks like and take steps toward it every day.

Move Forward with Confidence

Making peace with your past self is the key to living a more meaningful life. By embracing empathy, forgiveness, and personal growth, you can let go of past wounds and create a brighter, more fulfilling future.

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Feeling Drained by Social Media? Let’s Talk Doomscrolling and Comparison

By Nooshi Ghasedi, MA, NCC

Most of us spend time on social media—to relax, catch up with friends, or take a quick break from real life. But sometimes, instead of feeling more connected or uplifted, we log off feeling more anxious or discouraged.

Two common patterns many people experience are doomscrolling and comparison spirals.

Let’s break down what’s happening, and how to regain a sense of balance.

Doomscrolling: When the Scroll Becomes a Spiral

Have you ever opened an app just to check one quick thing, and 20 minutes later you’re reading one heartbreaking news story after another? That’s doomscrolling: the tendency to compulsively scroll through upsetting or negative content, even when it’s making us feel worse. Doomscrolling often happens late at night or during times of uncertainty. We think we’re “staying informed” or welcoming a distraction from a stressful day, but what we’re really doing is playing into our brain’s “threat detection system” and flooding it with information it doesn’t have time to process or recover from.

Too much of this can leave you feeling:

  • Overwhelmed or helpless
  • Anxious and restless
  • Emotionally numb or disconnected
  • Exhausted, even without doing anything “active”

While it would be unrealistic to encourage you to avoid all news or social media, it is possible to be more intentional with what, when, and how much we consume. The Comparison Trap: Everyone’s Best Moments, None of the Context While doomscrolling often focuses on the negative, social comparison is its sneakier cousin. On platforms full of filtered smiles, curated travel photos, career wins, and romantic gestures, it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking “Why doesn’t my life look like that?”

You might notice thoughts like:

  • They’re doing so much more than I am.”
  • “I’ll never look that good / be that happy / have that kind of relationship.”
  • “I’m falling behind.”

The problem? You’re comparing your real, unfiltered life to someone else’s highlight reel. You don’t see their stress, struggles, or insecurities—just the best 1% of what they choose to share. Social comparison can quietly erode your mental health by:

  • Fueling self-doubt and low self-esteem
  • Increasing anxiety or depressive thoughts
  • Distracting you from your own goals and values
  • Creating pressure to “perform” or present a perfect life online

What You Can Do to Protect Your Mental Space

Social media isn’t all bad—it can be fun, creative, and even healing when used mindfully. Here are a few ideas to help create healthier habits:

Be aware of your patterns. Start noticing when you tend to scroll (late at night? when you’re stressed?) and how you feel afterward. That awareness is powerful. 

Curate your feed. Unfollow or mute accounts that trigger comparison or negativity. 

Seek out pages that educate, encourage, or bring genuine joy.

Set boundaries. Try screen time limits, log-off hours, or “no scroll” zones like during meals or right before bed.

Reframe your self-talk. When you catch yourself in comparison, gently redirect:

“This is one moment from their life. I don’t know the full story.” “I’m allowed to grow at my own pace.”

Take intentional breaks. Step away for a weekend or even just a day. See how you feel. 

Often, even a little distance can help reset your relationship with your feed.

Final Thoughts

If social media has started to feel more draining than enjoyable, that’s worth paying attention to. You’re not overreacting, and you’re definitely not alone. Many of us are navigating an online world that wasn’t designed with mental wellness in mind. You can take back control—not by quitting cold turkey, but by being more intentional, compassionate, and curious about how online spaces are shaping your thoughts and feelings.

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Make Every Month Mental Health Month

By Christy Maeder, LCSW

Although May was recognized as Mental Health Month by Mental Health America, an initiative started in 1949 to promote mental wellness across the United States, we can all take steps to make every month a time to support our mental health.  This year’s theme,“Turn Awareness into Action,” encourages people to go beyond recognition and take real steps to support mental health.  

Steps you can take any month to care for your mental health include participating in free mental health screenings, practicing daily wellness habits, and becoming involved in efforts to advocate for better mental health policies.

Advocating for mental health policy change can happen at multiple levels—local, state, and national. MHA offers tools to help individuals take action, including action alerts, policy briefings, and advocacy toolkits. 

Supporters are encouraged to reach out to elected officials, attend public meetings, and share personal stories to drive change. Key advocacy goals include increasing funding for services, expanding insurance coverage, integrating mental health into primary care, and addressing the mental health workforce shortage.

These efforts foster open dialogue, reduce stigma, and build supportive environments where mental well-being is prioritized and protected.

In Oregon, there are several impactful ways to get involved in mental health advocacy.. Organizations like the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Oregon and the Mental Health & Addiction Association of Oregon (MHAAO) offer various opportunities for individuals to contribute to mental health initiatives.

NAMI Oregon provides advocacy training programs such as NAMI Smarts for Advocacy, which equips participants with the skills to effectively communicate with policymakers and advocate for mental health policies. They also organize events like NAMIWalks Northwest, a community walk that raises awareness and funds for mental health programs. Volunteering opportunities are available through their volunteer program, allowing individuals to support various initiatives across the state.

MHAAO focuses on peer-led support and recovery services. They host Peerpocalypse, an annual conference dedicated to peer support and wellness, providing a platform for sharing experiences and strategies for recovery. MHAAO also collaborates with local agencies in programs like the Provider-Police Joint Connection Program, which connects individuals experiencing homelessness and addiction with immediate support services. Engaging with MHAAO’s initiatives offers a direct way to support community-based mental health efforts.

For those interested in broader advocacy, Mental Health America offers resources to help individuals become mental health advocates. Their advocacy page provides information on current policy issues and ways to get involved at the national level. By participating in these programs and initiatives, individuals in Oregon can play a vital role in promoting mental health awareness and supporting those affected by mental health conditions.

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Clean Your Room!

By: Claire Butcher, CSWA

May 10th marked National ‘Clean Your Room Day’, a lighthearted but important reminder of how our environment affects our mental health. The idea is simple: asking us to refresh our living space, going beyond surface-level tidying. Cleaning is often taught to us as a monotonous chore to check off rather than a chance to reset our environment and benefit our physical and mental well-being. 

One way to help reframe how we view cleaning is to change our perspective from it being an obligatory task on a checklist to a form of self-care. For example, instead of saying “I need to clean” or “I’m so lazy”, reframe those thoughts to something more caring – “I deserve to have a clean space”, “I deserve to feel calm in my home”. 

Along with reframing how we view cleaning as a whole, building executive function skills can help assist us when it’s hard to start bigger, more overwhelming tasks such as cleaning a messy room. Here are some tips: 

  • Use Timers – Creating a false sense of urgency can help us focus without feeling the pressure to complete the entire project all in one sitting (10 minutes on, 5 minute break).
  • Tiny Steps – Break projects down into tiny steps. The smaller the better! It’s easier for me to start picking up all the trash in the room than to think about cleaning the entire space in one sitting. Goblin Tools is a great resource to help identify more realistic steps. 
  • Momentum Building – It can be easier to begin tasks when we’re already engaging our mind and body. Try going for a walk, doing something fun, or running an errand before beginning to clean.
  • Reward Yourself – Plan fun activities or structure to your day to motivate yourself to complete tasks. 
  • Accountability – Loop in a friend or family member to help increase your sense of responsibility. You can even pair goals together to motivate one another. 
  • Habit Stack – Turn on a comfort show or upbeat music (or another thing you already regularly do) while you clean to help the process go by more smoothly. 
  • Shift Your Focus – The Zeigarnik effect is a psychological phenomenon that helps us remember incomplete or interrupted tasks more so than completed ones. We can capitalize on this by shifting our focus between two tasks (either prompted by timers or boredom) – such as switching between picking up trash to folding clothes, keeping the momentum going if we feel like we’re slowing down. 

Cleaning is not innate, it is often taught to us as an obligatory task, or even punishment, rather than a form of caring for ourselves. Tracking our habits by using an app (‘Finch’ is one of my favorites) can help us tackle small tasks each day to avoid ‘doom piles’ of laundry or big cleaning projects building up in the future.

Overall, this boils down to grace. We cannot start a sustainable habit through shame or self-hatred. Much like how ‘panic cleaning’ before guests arrive doesn’t help us maintain cleaning habits in the future. 

Therapist KC Davis beautifully describes how we can take the shame away from the concept of clutter and cleaning. Be kind to yourself, and know that it’s a process. 

References 

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The Hidden Cost of Always Being the Easygoing One

We all love to be liked. There’s something comforting about being seen as the dependable one: the friend who listens, the co-worker who helps, the sibling who never makes a fuss. But here’s the question no one asks out loud: What if being “nice” is actually hurting you?

When Being Nice Becomes a Disguise

On the surface, being agreeable sounds like a strength. It’s tied to warmth, empathy, and cooperation—all things we value in relationships. But when being nice turns into people-pleasing, things start to get murky. You smile when you’re exhausted. You say yes when every fiber of your being is begging to say no. You avoid conflict like the plague, even if it means betraying yourself in the process.

Over time, this kind of chronic self-sacrifice doesn’t just wear you down—it can lead to burnout, anxiety, and a growing sense that you’re fading into the background of your own life.

How to Be Kind Without Losing Yourself

If this resonates, you’re not alone—and you’re not stuck. Here are three ways to begin shifting from pleasing to authenticity:

  1. Start with the small stuff.
    You don’t need to overhaul your life overnight. Practice saying “no” in low-stakes moments. Disagree gently with a friend. Turn down a non-essential favor. These micro-conflicts are like reps for your emotional muscles—they build strength over time.
  2. Set boundaries with warmth.
    Being kind doesn’t mean being available 24/7. You can say, “I care about you, but I need to rest tonight,” and still be a good person. In fact, that’s real kindness—one that includes you in the equation.
  3. Ask yourself: Who gains from my silence?
    Every time you bite your tongue or avoid rocking the boat, pause and ask: Who benefits from me staying quiet—and what is it costing me? The answers can be eye-opening.

Redefining “Nice”

The truth is, real kindness isn’t about being agreeable at all costs. It’s about being genuine. And sometimes, that means being uncomfortable, setting limits, and even disappointing others to stay true to yourself.

When we bend ourselves to fit what others want, we slowly disappear. But when we show up as our full selves—with opinions, limits, and needs—we stop performing and start living.

One Small Step: Try This

Start a boundary journal this week. Write down the moments you said “yes” when you wanted to say “no.” Then jot down what you wish you’d said instead. This small act of reflection can open the door to big change. Because yes, being liked feels good. But being real? That’s where the freedom lives.



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