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Not All Decisions Are Easy – And That’s Okay

“If you are not willing to risk the unusual, you will have to settle for the ordinary” – Jim Rohn 

Whether we realize it or not, every single day, we make thousands upon thousands of decisions.

Some are pretty simple such as what to make for breakfast, while others can be a bit more complicated such as which job offer to accept.

When we have so many potential decisions to make, landing on one can be very difficult and make us question our instincts. 

Thoughts such as… “What if I end up regretting this?” or “I’m not sure if this is a good idea.” can stop us from going after what we want. 

When it comes to making decisions, of course, you want to feel like you made the “right” one. 

Too often, we can let the fear of the unknown impact or delay our decision-making process.

Sure, in life you may regret a few choices – but you know what? That’s how you grow!

We may not be able to predict what will happen next week, next month or next year, but we can be ready to deal with any potential obstacles and learn how to trust our gut. 

Here’s how…

List All The Pros And Cons

Making a tough decision means considering all sides – the good and the bad.

Break down the options and think about how each side will work out best for you in the long run.

It also can’t hurt to think about how each choice aligns with your personal values.

Think About Other Factors 

Ask yourself, “Who else is there to consider?” 

Think about how each decision can impact not just you, but potentially the people around you.

If you were considering taking a job in another country, that choice might also impact your close friends and family. Don’t be shy to reach out to your network and ask what they think. At the end of the day, the decision is your call, but it can’t hurt to get new insight. 

“Life is inherently risky. There is only one big risk you should avoid at all costs, and that is the risk of doing nothing.” – Denis Waitle

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Embracing Your Emotions & Letting Yourself Feel

Do any of these phrases sound familiar…

“There’s no need to cry.”

“Don’t be sad. This isn’t so bad.”

“Don’t cry.” 

So many of us have been told by friends and family to hold our emotions back, which can make us feel like we can’t express ourselves.

Even though holding back tears may feel like the “right” thing to do at the moment – holding our emotions in can prolong the healing process. 

Sadness Makes us Human 

Even though experiencing sadness, anger, anxiety, or fear typically isn’t fun, it is entirely normal. 

Sadness is a basic human emotion and is part of what makes us human.

Feelings come and go – but it’s important to have them.

If we didn’t experience sadness, we might not be able to understand and appreciate happiness. 

All of your experiences, both positive and negative, have helped transform you into who you are today.

Fighting Our Feelings

When we’re upset about something, it’s so easy to tell yourself and others that you are fine, when in reality, you are not.

Re-assuring yourself that you’ll be okay isn’t always enough to accept and move past negative feelings.

Take note of your emotions and remind yourself that your feelings are valid and it’s okay to have them.

Processing

Processing and experiencing feelings is part of being human. 

Life is a rollercoaster, and no two days are exactly the same.

Some days will be amazing. Some will be tough. And some will be somewhere in the middle.

We know it’s tough, but it’s what life is all about.

Whether you’re having a good, bad or in-between kind of day, it’s important to treat yourself with kindness and practise coping strategies.

There is no right or wrong way to cope with emotions.

It’s all about figuring out what works best for you. 

“The emotion that can break your heart is sometimes the very one that heals it…” – Nicholas Sparks

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Making The Most Out Of Online College Classes

If this is your first or second college semester of online classes, you understand how difficult some days can be.

Taking classes online requires determination, motivation and patience.  

Some days or some classes may be easier than others – however, these tips and tricks can help you stay motivated throughout the semester. 

If You Have Questions – Ask Them 

None of us are mind readers – yes professors included.

If you ever have any questions or want to confirm details, don’t be shy to reach out to your professor. 

It’s so easy to put off smaller questions until tomorrow. 

But if you keep putting off questions tomorrow, tomorrow never comes. 

And before you know it, your one small question has transformed into ten big questions. 

Avoid Last Minute Submissions When Possible

Now, some people do perform their best under pressure which is not a bad thing. 

If that is your preferred style and it works for you, then you should listen to your body.

However, regularly submitting projects last minute can bring on anxiety and there is a larger room for error.

For example, you may have thought you had all the materials you needed to complete a project – but halfway through you realize you’re missing one important piece of information.

That happens more often, you’d think, and usually is an easy fix – that is when the deadline isn’t tomorrow!

Aiming to submit projects at least one day in advance can take a huge weight off your shoulders. And in case something does happen, you can take your time to find a solution. 

Be Prepared For Tech Issues

Technology problems happen to all of us – especially when video is involved.

We’ve all had video chats where one minute everything is fine, and the next our video and/or audio just stops working.

Of course, there isn’t much we can do to prevent tech difficulties, but we can be prepared and have a backup plan.

Know When It’s Time To Walk Away From The Screen 

Life is all about balance. Sitting in front of a screen for hours on end can be very exhausting. 

Exactly, why it’s so important to break up the day with tech-free activities.

You can read a book, go on a walk or clean up around the house.

If you catch yourself getting restless or irritable, it may be time to walk away from the screen.

Scheduling regular screen-free time can help you recharge your batteries, so you can join classes with a fresh mind.

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Amping Up Productivity When You’re Feeling Anxious

Has the thought of starting a new task ever brought on anxiety?

Have you ever put off a task because you were afraid it wouldn’t be “perfect”.

Striving for perfectionism can bring on anxiety and prevent us from trying new things or completing active projects. 

The more we put things off in life, the scarier they tend to become. 

Even though it may be easier said than done, the best thing you can do when you’re afraid of something is dive on in. 

Here’s how…

Start Brainstorming

There is something so special about thinking on paper. When we have so much on our minds, sometimes ideas can get lost. Thoughts that are written down are always with us. 

Looking at a blank page can be stressful – especially when you don’t know where to begin.

Even if you feel like you have nothing good to write, you’ve got to start writing.

Set a timer for ten minutes and write down anything that comes to mind that can help you complete the task at hand. 

Don’t worry about spelling, grammar or the overall layout. You can take care of that later. Right now, all you have to do is brainstorm.

If writing isn’t your thing, you can even draw out your list. 

Try Later With a Fresh Set of Eyes

Isn’t it interesting how the pressure to complete a task can be even harder than the task itself? 

Getting complicated or time-consuming tasks done in one sitting is not very realistic. It’s only a matter of time before decision fatigue kicks in.

Here’s an example. Let’s say you have a task you estimate will take around 4 hours to complete.

Even though you may want to get it over with and tackle it all in one sitting, you’d be much better off doing 2 hours one day and 2 more hours the next day. Ideas constantly come and go. If you’re feeling a little uncertain about an idea, sleeping on it can help. 

Set A Routine/Change Habits

So many of us can put off certain tasks without even realizing it.

Tasks we don’t exactly find fun can easily be pushed back a day or two without a second thought.

Again, the more you put something off, the more difficult it tends to become. 

Although it can feel intimidating, changing your habits is possible.

Having a routine and blocking out time to get things done can help you get started and complete tasks at your own pace. 

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How To Become a Better Listener In 3 Easy Steps

Conversations are a two-way street.

Mastering the art of listening can be a little tricky at first, but it is very learnable. Here’s how you can become a better listener in 3 easy steps. 

Validate in a Few Simple Words

Whether we are excited, happy, scared or nervous about something, sometimes all we want is to be listened to and supported.

Here’s an example.

Have you ever called a friend just to vent? 

You knew there was absolutely nothing they could do to change the situation, but you just wanted to let them in. All you wanted was a listening ear.

The next time a friend or family member calls you to vent, you don’t have to give them your two cents (unless they ask, of course.)

Simply using phrases like “I understand how you feel” or “Of course, that makes sense.” can help them feel at ease and listened to.

Listen With Your Body 

Communication comes in many forms. As much as it’s important to say comforting words, it’s also as important to listen with your entire body.

Let’s say a friend is telling you a long story about something that happened to them. You don’t want to interrupt them, but you want them to see you are listening. 

This is where facial expression and/or posture come into play.

You can smile, nod your head, sit up straight etc.

Sometimes body language can be stronger than words.

Hear What’s Underneath The Words

It isn’t always about what you say – it’s about how you say it. 

Almost all of us have claimed to feel fine when in reality, we were not. 

Saying everything is fine when it’s not can become a habit, and something we do without even noticing. 

Of course, you know your friends and family well. If they seem a little stressed or overwhelmed, don’t be afraid to check-in and ask if there’s anything you can do to help. 

As we discussed earlier, even if there is nothing you can physically do to change the situation, you can still listen. 

“The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said” – Peter Drucker

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Talking To Your Children About Racism

Having conversations with your children about racism can be difficult.

It’s common for parents to think their children are too young to fully understand racism, and they are better off waiting a few years.

However, children start recognizing human faces at around 1 – 3 months old. 

The sooner you start the conversation with your children about race and racism, the sooner they will understand it.

Ask Them Questions

If we want to reduce the tension around race conversations, we have to talk about it openly and often. 

You can’t know for sure what your child thinks or feels about something unless you ask them.

Asking them a few open-ended questions can help start the conversation and encourage them to open up. 

Storytelling

There are several books for children of all ages that dive into racism. If you already have some at home that’s great. 

If not, here are some great children’s books you can look into.

You and your child can read the books together, and afterwards, you can talk about it.

You can ask them how the book made them feel, or if you they have any questions. 

Keep Up The Conversation

Talking to your children about racism is not a one-time thing. Encouraging them to ask questions whenever they want can help keep the conversation going.

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More Ways to Celebrate Black History Month

At a time in our society marked by increased awareness of racial inequities, it feels even more important to recognize Black History Month as well as take steps to educate ourselves and work to help bring about change in any way that we can. 

We want to work to support and be inclusive of all people of color and other oppressed groups as well and continue to work towards overall diversity and inclusion.

Here are some ideas for this month and for every month of the year:

Support Black Owned Businesses In Your Community

Participate In Online Educational Programs or Visit a Civil Rights Museum

There is no such thing as too much education. There are several educational articles out there, you can read at your own pace.

Or, you can watch museums in Virtual Tours online.

Engage In Healthy Conversations On Social Media

Social media is an excellent place to engage in conversation with friends, family and those you may not have met in person.

Donate To Organizations That Support And Take Action Towards Racial Equity

There are several organizations out there that support racial equity.

We all have the power to make a difference. Every single dollar donated adds up.

Here are a few organizations we recommend looking into:

NAACP: Is at the forefront of the movement to build political power and ensure the wellbeing of Black communities.

Black Women’s Health Imperative: The mission of the Black Women’s Health Imperative is “to lead the effort to solve the most pressing health issues that affect Black women and girls in the U.S.

Center for Black Equity: Supports Black LGBTQ+ individuals by building a network of community-based organizations that promote health and, economic empowerment, and equal rights while promoting individual and responsibility.

Books

In addition to reading articles online, there are several books out there, we recommend looking into.

The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander.

The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness by Michelle Alexander–You will learn how the war on drugs followed a pattern of implementation consistent with slavery and Jim Crow, how financial incentives and legal protection allow selective targeting of black males for drug crimes, and why it’s so difficult for drug convicts to reintegrate into society.

I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness by Austin Channing Brown.

You can listen to her on Brene Brown’s podcast and then read the book, which is an eye-opening account of the ongoing journey to find self-worth within a culture that claims to value diversity, but often falls short.

How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi.

This book discusses concepts of racism and Kendi’s proposals for anti-racist individual actions and systemic changes. (You can also listen to him on Brene Brown’s podcast )

Listen to Podcasts

We all have our own personal preference for absorbing information. If you prefer podcasts over a paperback book, here are a few we recommend looking into:

Code Switch: This podcast is all about race and identity in America.

1619 (NY Times): This is an audio series about how has transformed America through the oldest form of storytelling. 

Nice White Parents: This is a 5 part series all about building a better school system and what gets in the way. 

“The ultimate measure of a person is not where one stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where one stands in times of challenge and controversy.” – Martin Luther King, Jr.

This One Tip Can Help Prevent Burnout

Even though burnout is preventable, it can sneak up on us when we least expect it.

Getting enough sleep and taking regular breaks is one of the most popular ways to prevent it. 

However, there is another method that is less talked about. 

It all comes down to adding structure to your day. 

Get Creative

Even if every day for you is incredibly different, you can still add structure to it. You’ll just have to get a little creative. 

Constantly moving on from task to task without some sort of a plan can be confusing and overwhelming. 

Every Decision Adds Up

First thing in the morning or before you go to sleep, spend a few minutes visualizing your ideal day in your mind.

What would you prepare for breakfast? How many meetings will you have, and when will they happen?

Again, this doesn’t have to be a set-in-stone system. 

But having somewhat of a rough idea can eliminate the need to make so many decisions under stress.

Studies show that the average adult makes around 35,000 choices per day! That is a huge number.

Small decisions such as what cereal you’d like for breakfast or what to wear to your Zoom meeting may seem pretty simple. But when you’re so exhausted or drained, every decision can be tough.

Planning out your day before decision fatigue hits in can help make your day run smoothly.

Time Flies

Have you ever had one of those days where one minute it was 10 AM and the next it was 3 PM?

Those days can be quite interesting. Time flies when you’re having fun or extremely busy. 

When we’re that busy, sometimes we can forget to check in with ourselves and see how we’re feeling.

We could be feeling stressed and not even realize it. Make an effort to check in with yourself a few times a day and ask yourself how you feel at that moment.

If you feel energized and productive, that’s amazing; keep going. 

But if you notice yourself feeling a little tired or stressed, it may be time to call it a day or take a much-needed break.

Catching these feelings early on can help prevent them from escalating to burnout.

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Tips for Managing Your Children’s Screen Time

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Screen time is not a bad thing. Texting is a great way to stay in touch with friends and family. Plus, there are several educational shows out there.

However, too much screen time can do much more harm than good. 

If you aren’t careful 5 minutes of intended screen time can easily turn into 2+ more hours. 

Almost all parents are familiar with the “come on, just 5 more minutes” request. 

Establishing reasonable screen time rules for your children can help them find a balance between time well spent on and off their screens.

Set Technology Times 

It’s so easy to lose track of time while watching TV or texting friends. We’ve all been there and it happens. Setting a timer or coming up with a schedule can help keep us on track. 

Family Activities 

Here’s some family homework. Sit down with your children this week and together come up with a list of fun tech-free activities you can do together. You can bake, play board games, or go on a walk. 

These activities can help remind both you and your kids that you don’t need a phone to have fun. 

No Phones in The Bedroom

Even if your phone is off, having it in your bedroom can be very distracting. We all have those nights where we just can’t fall asleep.

When your phone is right there, it’s so easy to scroll through social media at 2 AM instead of trying to fall back asleep. 

Keeping your phone in a different room while you sleep can help prevent endless late-night scrolling. 

Be Realistic 

Some rules are meant to be broken and everything is okay in moderation – screen time included.

When you’re not feeling well, sometimes the best thing you can do is take it easy and get lost in a movie or two. There is nothing wrong with having a movie night or binge-watching a series once in a while. 

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