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3 Techniques to Master Intense Emotions

Are you feeling overwhelmed by intense emotions that seem to linger? 

Many of us struggle to find effective ways to manage our emotions, particularly when they become too powerful to ignore. But by engaging in certain processes, we can interrupt the cycle of distress and move toward healthier emotional responses. 

In this blog post, we will explore the importance of understanding our emotions and how to assess and respond to them in a healthy way. Read on to learn more!

Don’t Avoid Your Emotions

You may be used to pushing away emotions or avoiding them altogether, but it’s essential to take a moment to notice them as they arise. 

Observing the sensations that come up as part of this experience can be helpful. Doing so can help break the cycle of avoidance that can make these reactions even more intense. 

Acknowledging the humanness of your responses can help you better understand the message these reactions are sending. 

Practice Compassion 

It can be easy to slip into the habit of criticizing yourself when your emotions are intense and difficult to manage. However, it’s important to remember to practice self-compassion in these moments. 

Instead of getting angry and frustrated with yourself, try to be empathic and understanding. Speak kindly to yourself, and acknowledge the difficult emotions you are experiencing. 

You can say things like, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now,” or “It’s hard to be calm right now.” These phrases help validate your experience and make it easier to cope with your emotions. 

Connect with What Matters Most

When you feel strong emotions, it can be tempting to get swept away in them and forget what really matters. But it doesn’t have to be that way. 

Instead, use your emotions to connect to what’s important to you, and it will help you determine how you want to respond to the situation. Do you want to stay connected with the person you are interacting with? Do you want to take on a new challenge? Do we want to replenish your resources so that you can do something else important later?  

Doing this will help you make decisions that align with your values and bring you closer to your heart’s desires. 

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A Guide to Worrying Less

Do you feel like you’re constantly worrying, and it’s taking a toll on your life? 

The good news is that you’re not alone. Worrying is a natural part of life, and it’s completely normal. 

But with that said, there are techniques that can help you better manage it. 

Living a worry-free life can bring numerous advantages, from mental clarity to a healthier lifestyle. In this blog post, we’ll explore how you can do that! 

1. Take a Step Back and Assess the Situation

When you start to worry, it can be easy to get caught up in the details and lose sight of the bigger picture. Take a few moments to pause and assess the situation objectively. 

Ask yourself: Is this event as bad as it seems? Is there anything I can do to address the problem? Is worrying helping or just making things worse?

Challenging these assumptions that you have about worrying can help to keep your worries in check.

2. Practice Mindfulness and Quiet the Mind

When we are worried, thinking clearly and making decisions can be difficult. So, taking a few moments each day to focus on your breathing and being mindful of the present moment can effectively reduce anxiety and worry. 

You can learn to become more aware of your thoughts and feelings when you practice relaxation techniques. This can help you to recognize when you start to worry too much and take steps to manage your anxiety more effectively.

 3. Accept the Possibility of the Worst Outcome 

Instead of trying to combat or ignore your worries, acknowledge them. 

Remind yourself that the thing you fear might happen.

But you have the strength and courage to handle it if it does.  

Accepting the possibility of what you fear doesn’t mean that it will happen. It does mean that you’re preparing yourself for whatever happens. 

You’ve got this! 

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Creating Your Top 10 Stress Reducers

By: Tanya Kramer

When we are actively stressed, we don’t have the luxury to stop and think about what we might do that will help us feel better. Since April is “Stress Awareness Month” (created in 1992), I encourage you to use the following list (see below) to either pull from or create ideas for yourself, so you can make your own “Top 10 Stress Reducers” visual.  

Once you have identified them, then write them down visually on paper, or a marker board, or create an art project with them listed on. 

Then place this visual somewhere you will see every day such as the bathroom mirror, the refrigerator, next to your bed, or anywhere you know you will see it on a daily basis. 

Then when you have a difficult day, you can just look at it, or maybe you will notice this list which will remind you of specific things you can do to help reduce stress.

Create the list before you need it, and then when you need it, you won’t have to think about it. You can just engage in one or more of the items on your list and then notice if you feel differently afterward.

Be sure to include a number of items on your list that meet the following 4 criteria:  

  1. Can be performed anywhere
  2. Take very little practice to master
  3. Are free
  4. Provide immediate relief

Here is a list of options to pull from or to get ideas from for your own personal top 10 stress reducers. 

  • Go for a walk
  • Write a letter to a friend
  • Read a book
  • Take a bath
  • Focus on your breath
  • Drink water
  • Make plans with a friend
  • Write poetry
  • Stretch
  • Soak your feet in warm water
  • Learn something new
  • Plan a trip
  • Cuddle with someone or a pet
  • Spend time in nature
  • Do something tactile with your hands
  • Massage lotion all over your skin
  • Be goofy like no one is watching
  • Eat dark chocolate
  • Remind yourself in most situations there are options
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Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle – Key Takeaways

By: Christina Bein

In the book Burnout by Emily Nagoski, the author provides several stress management strategies that can help individuals cope with and prevent burnout. 

Emily Nagoski explains the concept of “closing the stress cycle” as the idea that stress is a physiological response that needs to be completed or “cycled through” in order for the body to return to a state of calm. 

In other words, it’s not enough to simply “manage” or cope with stress; we also need to actively engage in activities that help our bodies complete the stress response cycle. 

Nagoski gives the example of animals in the wild who experience stress, such as a zebra being chased by a lion. Once the zebra escapes, it shakes and trembles to release the tension from its body and complete the stress response cycle. Humans, however, often experience chronic stress that is not resolved by a single event, and we may not engage in activities that help us complete the stress cycle.

To close the stress cycle, Nagoski suggests engaging in physical activities that release tension and promote relaxation, such as exercise, yoga, or dancing. She also suggests engaging in social connection activities, such as spending time with loved ones or engaging in a group activity, as this can help us feel supported and reduce feelings of isolation and loneliness.

 Here is a summary review of some of the key strategies with tools I’ve added to support the execution of Nagoski’s highlighted themes:

  1. Prioritize rest and recovery: Nagoski emphasizes the importance of taking breaks and getting enough sleep, as well as engaging in activities that promote relaxation and self-care.

Examples of self-care activities include:

Deep breathing exercise: Take a slow, deep inhale for a count of four, hold the breath for a count of four, then exhale slowly for a count of 6. Repeat 2+ more times.

Progressive muscle relaxation: This technique involves tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in the body, one at a time, in order to release physical tension and promote relaxation.

 Coloring, panting, knitting, warm bath/shower, playing music, walking, hiking.

  1. Identify and challenge negative thoughts: The author suggests identifying and challenging negative thoughts and beliefs that can contribute to stress and burnout and instead focusing on positive and realistic thinking.

CBT worksheets to help reframe negative thoughts. 

  1. Practice mindfulness: Nagoski suggests practicing mindfulness techniques such as meditation and deep breathing to help manage stress and improve emotional regulation.

Guided meditation: You can now find it on many apps, websites, and television platforms [Headspace (also on Netflix), Calm, Inside Time. YouTube].

  1. Engage in physical activity: Regular exercise has been shown to have numerous benefits for both physical and mental health, including reducing stress and anxiety.

You can start off by going on daily walks around a neighborhood or park. Sports like bouldering (solo) or basketball (team) have you focus on the present activity. 

  1. Build social connections: The author emphasizes the importance of building and maintaining strong social connections, which can provide support and help buffer against stress.

Take the initiative to reach out to a family member or friend. Building connection means showing up to allow closeness to grow.

  1. Set realistic goals and boundaries: Nagoski suggests setting realistic goals and boundaries, as well as learning to say “no” to excessive demands, in order to prevent overwhelm and burnout.

Take the time to determine your absolute “no’s” and learn to communicate how to protect those boundaries.

 Overall, Nagoski’s stress management strategies focus on developing healthy habits and coping mechanisms that prioritize self-care, positive thinking, and meaningful connections with others. Including these activities in your routine will promote one’s well-being and reduce burnout.

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Humor to Handle Stress

We hope these jokes make your day! 

When they’re little, your kids should never be stressed out.

They deserve a chance to be “chill”-dren

Why are math books always so stressed?

They have a limitless amount of problems that need to be solved.

I wasn’t doing great in school, I was stressed out and acting up, so the school tried this new technique on me.

It’s called a de-tension.

What did one guitar say to another guitar when it was feeling stressed out?

Hey man, don’t fret.

Why was the meteorologist so stressed?

The job is full of high pressure.

Why do dogs love yoga class?

It’s a good chance to paws and reflect.

How does the yogi order a pizza?

Make me one with everything!

What’s a pirate’s least favorite yoga move?

The plank pose.

The First Lady of the Flute Interview

We hope you enjoy this interview with Jen Champion and Mary Youngblood, The First Lady of the Flute.

Mary is an accomplished Native American Flute Player and a two-time Grammy Award Winner.

Mary has over 200 flutes and plays them for her enjoyment and healing and for celebrations, ceremonies, festivals, and the healing arts.

Playing and listening to the flute is beneficial for the health of the player and the listener in enhancing deep breathing and reducing stress.

You Can Listen To The Full Interview Here

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Supporting a Loved One

Do you have a loved one going through a difficult time and aren’t quite sure how to help support them? Read on – these tips can help! 

1. Check in on Them 

Even if there is nothing you can immediately do to help your loved one, simply asking how they are doing can be very helpful. 

Sometimes opening up and venting can help us look at our obstacles in a new way. 

Again, even if you don’t have any actional feedback to share, you can always be a good listener. 

2. Thoughtful Gifts 

Thoughtful gift-giving is a great way to show your loved one you care – when they are going through a tough time.

A great gift does not have to be elaborate or expensive. 

It just has to come from the heart. For example, if your loved one has been experiencing insomnia, you can gift them a sleep journal, slippers or pyjamas. 

3. Reflect On Your Personal Experiences 

We are all unique, and what works for you may not work for someone else. 

However, if you’ve been in your loved ones shoes before, you can open up and let them know how you moved past the obstacle.

Even if your tactics don’t end up working for them, it’s always nice to know you aren’t alone. 

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The Power of Music

Have you ever felt the power of music? 

Music has long been known to bring joy and wellness to those who listen. It can soothe, energize, and inspire you by lifting your spirits and bringing you inner peace and harmony. 

From the calming effects of classical music to the energy of rap and hip-hop, music can create a special connection. 

Music Lowers Stress

Listening to calming music has been shown to reduce stress and anxiety levels. It can help to relax the mind and body, allowing us to cope better with difficult emotions. Music can also act as a distraction from worries and help increase well-being.

Music evokes positive emotions and can help lift your spirits and make you feel better by distracting you from negative thoughts, allowing you to focus on the positive.

Music Helps in Building Connections

At its core, music is about storytelling and conveying emotion. 

Through music, we can learn from each other, open up to new perspectives, and create a stronger sense of community. 

It can help you express yourself and share your stories in a way that can be healing and empowering –  as it creates a sense of belonging.

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Are You Burning Out? 3 Signs to Watch Out For

Are you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted by your job? Do you need help feeling motivated or enthusiastic about the work you do? It could be that you’re experiencing burnout.  

Burnout can occur when you feel like you’re stuck in an endless cycle of stress and exhaustion without any relief.  

 And while it’s important to show dedication to your work or other commitments, ensuring you’re taking care of yourself is also essential. So it’s important to pay attention and take action if you are in danger of burnout. 

Read on to find out more about burnout and how to manage it!

Constant Fatigue and Exhaustion

If you’re having difficulty concentrating or making decisions, or if your emotions are running high and are difficult to manage, this could be a sign of emotional exhaustion.

This is one of the most common signs of burnout. If you’re feeling constantly overwhelmed, exhausted, and drained, it’s time to take a step back and reevaluate your situation. This could be a sign that you’re pushing yourself too hard and it’s time for a break.

Loss of Motivation and Enthusiasm

Another common sign of burnout is a loss of interest in activities that used to bring you joy. 

You may find that you’re no longer as interested in hobbies or social activities that you used to enjoy. 

If you lack interest, take time to do something that brings you joy, such as reading a book, getting a massage, or taking a walk. It’s also important to engage with friends and family. Spending time with those who make you feel supported can be incredibly beneficial in helping to fight off burnout. 

Frustration and Other Negative Emotions

It’s normal to feel frustrated or cynical when things seem to be out of your control. But if you’re feeling like this all the time, it may be a sign that something else is going on. 

It’s essential to take the time to identify the cause of your negative emotions and make necessary changes that can help you manage your burnout and prevent it from getting worse. 

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by your work, take time to make changes to manage your stress. If you’re feeling stuck in a rut, take some time to try something new or adjust your routine.

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The Big Fat Lie (part 2)

 

The Big Fat Lie, Part 2

By Amalia Cox-Trieger

This is the second in a multi-part series looking critically at weight loss, dieting, and the cultural, social, political, and economic landscapes that shape our ideas about weight and bodies.

I write this from my perspective as a multi-racial woman, who experiences chronic health issues, and who benefits from the privileges of a thin body, and a white-passing body, among others. I am indebted to the many pioneers of the fat activist/ fat liberation, and body neutrality movements, with particular gratitude for the Black and Trans women, and others holding marginalized identities who have incubated, enlivened, and sustained this work, often at great personal and professional risk. Thank you.

 

Bodies, Race, and Power 

When it comes to bodies, variation is the name of the game. Even within a biological family, skin, eye, and hair color may differ, cognitive, physical, and emotional abilities exist on a spectrum, and bodies come in all different weights and shapes. Rather than acknowledging this as normal, we have been conditioned to see fatness as a problem to be solved. This is due in part to the huge profit the weight loss, diet, and wellness industry can generate from a populace steeped in anxiety about weight, and socially motivated to seek thinness. It is also an intentional manifestation of systemic racism. 

In the mid-18th century, enslaved Africans were being transported and sold throughout the Americas and British colonies. The people who stood to benefit most from the practices of slavery created a discourse to justify the inhumane treatment of other human beings. They used eating habits and body size (among other things), as a way of differentiating who was worthy of freedom and who was not. 

The logic espoused by those seeking racial dominance was that White Europeans were rational, moral, and self-controlled, which could be demonstrated through the denial of sensory pleasure and keeping a tight rein on one’s appetites. These were the enlightened, civilized people. Black people, they asserted, were too lazy to control their appetites, enjoyed food too much, indulged sinfully in all kinds of sensory pleasures, and were therefore too fat. These were the primitive, uncivil people, who needed to be controlled and to be shown how to live in a refined White society. 

Of course, not all Africans had larger bodies, and plenty of White Europeans were fat, but that was irrelevant to the narrative. What was important was what people would believe, and people will believe a lot, especially when it absolves them of wrongdoing and amplifies their own power. 

Creating a hierarchy based on physical characteristics was a way to concentrate and keep power in the hands of White men, and subjugate anyone who didn’t meet their description of civility, intelligence, and desirability. White scholars of the late 1700’s and early 1800’s published articles that assigned different levels of intellectual ability, beauty, and morality to various races, with the “White race” always at the pinnacle. Magazine articles targeting middle and upper-class White women emphasized the importance of eating as little as necessary in order to show their Christian nature and their racial superiority. Labeled as scientific truths, and sanctioned by law, these ideas flourished in the United States through the 19th and 20th centuries, as a way to justify slavery, racism, and classism, and control women through “temperance”. The fact that thinness and whiteness grant more access to social, political, and cultural capital in so many areas of society today, traces directly back to these baldly racist systems.

One standout example of how these systems persist in our lives today is the use of the BMI, or Body Mass Index. The formula, created in the 1830’s by a statistician named Adolphe Quetelet, was never meant to be used in medical settings. Instead, Quetelet was aiming to create the “perfect everyman” against which others could be compared. And in his own words, “everything differing from his proportion or condition, would constitute deformity or disease … or monstrosity.” Though the “perfect everyman” Quetelet envisioned was based on a 19th-century White, European, cisgender man, taking no one else into account, his inaccurate and racist formula is used every day to make wide-ranging and life-altering healthcare decisions for people of all genders, ages, ethnicities, and abilities. 

Size and Stigma 

Racialized people face considerable health challenges due to systemic oppression and marginalization. Chronic cardiovascular, inflammatory, and metabolic risk factors have been found to be elevated in Black women, even after controlling for behaviors such as smoking, physical exercise, or dietary variables. 

Many doctors have claimed that Black women’s “excess” weight is the main cause of their poor health outcomes, often without fully testing or adequately addressing their symptoms. The idea that weight is responsible for negative health outcomes among Black women builds on historically racist ideas and ignores how interrelated social factors impact health. Stressors like workplace discrimination, unequal pay, and the threat of sexual assault contribute to higher rates of chronic mental and physical illnesses. Black women are disproportionately more at risk of sexual violence. Nearly 1 in 5 Black women are survivors of rape, and 41% of Black women experience sexual coercion and other forms of unwanted sexual contact. Sexual trauma is frequently associated with PTSD, depression, substance misuse, suicide ideation and attempts, and other adverse health effects.

Centuries of segregation and housing discrimination keep families of color from building generational wealth. As a result, Black women are more likely to live in higher poverty areas, to contend with pollution, lack of access to fresh food and clean water, and to face housing instability.https://www.americanprogress.org/article/systemic-inequality-displacement-exclusion-segregation/

Racial disparities and bias in healthcare also effect Black women’s well-being. In the U.S., the CDC reported that Black women experience maternal mortality two to three times higher than that of white women. The estimated national maternal mortality rate in the United States is about 17 per 100,000 live births––but it is about 43 per 100,000 live births for Black women. https://www.ajmc.com/view/racial-disparities-persist-in-maternal-morbidity-mortality-and-infant-health

These social and material realities (those listed here are just a small sample), play a much larger role than body size in determining overall health. Too often, the impacts of structural violence toward marginalized people go unacknowledged and the focus is placed primarily on weight. This leads to further discrimination in the form of weight stigma, which itself increases one’s risk for diabetes, heart disease, discrimination, bullying, eating disorders, sedentariness, lifelong discomfort in one’s body, and even early death. https://publichealth.uic.edu/community-engagement/collaboratory-for-health-justice/addressing-weight-stigma-and-fatphobia-in-public-health/

It also fails to address the underlying causes of these disparities, allowing systemic injustice to flourish, while putting the onus on individual choices and claiming to be “working on the problem” by prescribing weight loss. Public health initiatives claiming to tackle the “obesity epidemic” for example, often refer to higher-weight populations as needing guidance, monitoring, or management. Stereotypes around fatness and laziness proliferate, as does the assumption that a person’s eating or exercise habits are something that can be determined by looks alone. Animalization and other dehumanizing language are leveraged against people in larger bodies, particularly racialized people. For how closely this rhetoric mirrors the propaganda used to justify genocide and slavery, it is all too common to find liberal and progressive institutions and individuals promoting these ideas. This societally condoned anti-fat bias should be named and recognized for what it is: a hierarchy that privileges some and makes others disposable.

 Even if long-term weight loss was sustainable for most people, changing body size does nothing to change the circumstances that cause poor health for marginalized populations. A society invested in weight management and idolizing thinness, is a culture invested in the maintenance of the supremacy of the dominant culture. It’s time to unlearn the lesson that fat is anything other than a neutral descriptor, and move toward a more equitable future for everyone. 

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Part 3 of this series will examine the relationship between weight and health and shines a spotlight on the widespread myth that higher weight causes negative health outcomes. It poses critical questions about what being healthy actually means, and who has access to the conditions which create health. Stay tuned! 

Further reading & resources:

Fearing the Black Body:  The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia by Sabrina Strings

Belly Of The Beast: The Politics of Anti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness, by Da’shaun Harrison

Anti-Diet: Reclaim Your Time, Money, Well-Being, and Happiness Through Intuitive Eating by Christy Harrison  (this author has a great blog and podcast as well)

https://weightandhealthcare.substack.com/archive

Happy Women’s Day

” Strong Women. May we know them. May we be them. May we raise them”–author unknown

Wishing all women a day filled with all of the strength, power, and courage that you all have inside of you. I think a fitting way to celebrate this day is to support all of the girls and women in our lives as we all experience this journey together; with all of its ups and downs, challenges and successes, heartbreaks and joy.

Here are some links with ideas for how to support the women in your life and around the world:

“Little girls with dreams become women with vision.”

The First Lady of the Flute

,

By: Jen Champion 

I’ve always been intrigued by the breath and the unique qualities of being able to control and ignore it. We breathe without thinking about it and hold our breath more than we know. Holding our breath and not breathing correctly contribute to body tension and reduced lung capacity. This is not a place where we can function optimally. Breathing is our essence; we must ensure we are familiar with breathing correctly and then do it. 

Abdominal/ Belly Breathing. Abdominal/Belly Breathing is a therapeutic exercise that strengthens our lungs, heart, and diaphragm. This practice relaxes the nervous system, lowers heart rate, and helps us gain resilience to stress. Babies naturally breathe in this way. As we move through life, we change our patterns and do not even realize we are not living optimally. 

Try this…

Sit tall with your body feeling the support of your chair. Bring awareness to the opening of your nostrils. Notice how you are breathing. Do you feel it mostly in your chest, neck, and shoulders? Try again. Be aware of your belly and receive an expansion there as you inhale, allowing your diaphragm to descend on the inhale and ascend on the exhale. Do you feel the difference? Keep practicing. Returning to a natural, relaxed breathing state of smooth, deep breathing takes time.

 As a child, I would sit quietly and try not to hear the sounds around me. 

I started to notice that I could feel and hear my breath. I was able to calm down and zone out. Sometimes I would catch an underlying current of awareness that felt far away from my outside world. I later learned it is called energy, prana, and chi. I continue to foster that connection. I study and practice yoga, aromatherapy, herbalism, and earth-based traditions that enhance my ability to what I now call zone in. My favorite recent discovery is using the breath to inspire the Native American Flute.

The most exciting part about my discovery is I was in a community flute circle with the First Lady of the Flute, Mary Youngblood. I heard about Mary and the Flutestock event from my husband. He plays various instruments, including his friend Jim’s handmade flutes. 

At Flutestock, we made our way to Mary’s flute circle. Humorous, humble, and happy, she gifted us lessons with stories, laughter, inspiration, and guidance. Mary introduced herself, “I’m half Alutiiq (Aleut) on my mom’s side, and my father was mostly Cherokee from Florida. When I would say my parents were from Alaska and Florida, people would ask how did that happen? I would jokingly say, White man give us car, but the US Navy had everything to do with that!”

Mary’s eyes twinkled as she told stories and closed them when her breath gave life to her flute. I felt many emotions as she expressed hers through sounds that emanated from nature. I felt the wind around me, the earth below me, and held by something more profound than myself.

 Mary began making music as a child, but it was when she was an adult that she began playing the flute. She is the first Native American Woman to record flute music and is honorably the First Lady of the Flute. Mary’s flute recordings have earned her multiple distinguished awards. She was the first female artist to win “Flutist of the Year” in 1999 and “Best Female Artist” in 2000. She is the first Native American woman to receive a Grammy Award for “Best Native American Music Album” and the first Native American woman to have won two Grammy’s, the first for Beneath the Raven Moon in 2002 and Dance with the Wind in 2006. WOW! You may see now why I am highlighting her in honor of Women’s History Month.

Mary enjoys creating music to entertain and comfort people. She offers her songs to help reduce anxiety and stress and provides a relaxing atmosphere for people in hospice settings. Mary uses her breath in specific ways and chooses distinctive flutes to tell her stories. Different notes and melodies express emotions and moods that convey her feelings. Her flute songs are played for ceremonies and celebrations and as a spiritual and healing instrument. 

When we take time to sit and breathe with awareness, we enter a relaxed state of “rest and digest”. In that place, we can deepen our insight into our needs and well-being. Whether we intend to have fun or practice mindful relaxing, may we be inspired to unleash sounds, songs, and stories with our voices and instruments. Join Mary and me in our April newsletter. You will access our conversation, where we go deeper into the myth, magic, meditative and healing qualities within and around the Native American flute.  

If you have any questions for Mary, send them to me and I will include as many as possible. 

Practice with Mary Youngblood 

Listen to her Grammy Award Winning Songs through the links below.

Beneath the Raven Moon  

Feed the Fire 

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